Hipster Vodka Tonic

Get to Give

2007-11-06T18:56:00.000-06:00

Boys and Girls. That is the subject of this blog.

With my improv show coming up, I have been trying to get things in order. My parents are coming to town on Friday to see the weekend of shows. I also might have a few boys of interest coming to see the shows as well. Let me tell you who those boys are.

Abortion Boy. He is the one who went on a date with me and then bailed out and then told me it was because I did not call him. He is a repeat audience member who loved our show.

MyPlace Boy. A couple of weeks ago, a coworker came downstairs to give me a number that some guy left for me at the counter. Told me that he was really shy but very attractive. It had his number and his myspace account. We have been sending messages back and forth but still have yet to meet. He seems to be very interested but is not 21. I don't really know what I want to do about that.

Football Player. So Halloween was quite an event. I was dressed as a 70s porn star. He was dressed as a trampy football player. We made out in the back room of a dance club (that I may not be so proud of). No one was around and we got pretty frisky. Anyway, we have been exchanging text messages since the occurance. He also seems to be very into what I have to offer.

Coffee Mug Boy. Finally got up the courage to say "Maybe we should hang out sometime when you are not drunk outside of Novak's" To that I replied that he should come see my show. He is super cute. Studies a lot at the coffee shop. Never has any money. Has the cutest little smile. Loved my gym coach costume. Has a lot going for him in general but just seems to not be right for me. That doesn't mean that I don't want to take him for a test ride or two.

The Thinker AKA Robbing the Bank Boy. Now this is a boy that I am interested in. Super cute. I know very little about him. He does show a lot of interest but I don't want to ask him out at the coffeeshop. I want to get him into a more natural habitat and then ask him to go for drinks or a movie or whatever he might be into. He makes awkward flirtatious conversation with me. I think he might study art. This is what I have picked up from spying on him.

That is an update on boys.

Now lets talk about other stuff. I dressed up several times for Halloween. I had to work outside in the kinda cold weather wearing short gym shorts, a track jacket and a whistle. I was your gym coach. It was kinda cold and I got beer all over my legs and feet. After a long day at work, I decided to hit up all the parties that I was invited to.

I went to a few in the Central West End to find that they were all closed. Decided before house parties, I should get liquored up first. Went to Novak's to hang out with extremely drunk people that I did not know. But this real asshole grabbed my ass. I blew my whistle in his face. Told him "Inappropriate Contact. Take a lap, Asshole."

Was supposed to go to Jenny's birthday party. Got a phone call that everyone was drunk, passed out, or people that I did not know. Instead, I was instructed to go to H-Bomb's apartment. Had a beer. Did some Irish Celidh dancing to Flogging Mollies. Passed out hardcore from exhaustion not from being drunk.

I am desperately missing best friend Rachel. I believe that she is back in the U.S. but still have not gotten in contact with her. I'm about to call her parents if I don't find her soon. I'm hoping she might read this and find some way of giving me an update.

The cruise is a month away. I am super excited to get my pale ass onto a boat and experience the ocean and foreign countries.

Improv Show number Two (It got better with age). Parents coming to town. Still don't know what I'm going to do with them for an entire weekend. I have the whole weekend off so I can't use work as an excuse. It will just be them, so there is no sending them on an excursion with brother for an afternoon. I am going to go crazy.

I really need to get my life in order. There is some major disarray that is very obvious by my room. If I started making decisions about things then I could actually move forward. Oh yeah, this is so brought on by reading a book about breaking up. Its Called A Breakup Cuz Its Broken (or something like that). And I'm not even getting over a breakup. I think reading self-help books could be a new thing for me. I'm really getting a lot out of this book. Turns out revenge on an ex is not the best thing for you. It is also amazing that I have had so many good breakups. I must just really be able to get over boys easily.

I have to give to get.

The Dry Spell

2007-10-13T02:29:00.000-05:00

That is what it seems like. Since the time of the guy whose name I did not know til now, I have been very uneventful. I think I would make out with an ugly woman right about now. That being said, now on to the actual stuff (just to see if I have an interesting life outside of boys).

I'm not drunk (shocking noises here). I have been around alcohol all night. Long night of bartending and seeing hot boys. The Lounge is turning into quite a hot boy spot. I was running my ass off all night trying to keep them all happy.

The Man of My Dreams is becoming not the Man of My Dreams. I have a new crush who I have been making eyes at. I just need to get him out of the Coffee Shop and figure out what his story is. He has no nickname yet because I don't even know his real name.

Project Improv St. Louis is having a second round of shows coming up in November. Super duper fun. I am so looking forward to it. We have been rehearsing the same form and making it perfect. PIKim is a rockin' dancer too. What more would you want from a show?

I went home last weekend. It was nice seeing the fam. Almost killed my sister for saying (when I was hungover) that my food sucked and I shouldn't cook that anymore. I almost jumped across the table. I got into town midafternoon on Friday. Got my eyebrows waxed (thank god). Spent time avoiding but hanging out with my parents and my aunt. Saturday, I cooked all day for the party that my mother was throwing for her 50th birthday. I don't know what kind of party this was, but it seemed like it was more a party to welcome me back to town than to celebrate my mother's birthday.

After spending a few hours at the party (I had been in town for over 24 hours and had only 4 cigarettes), the youngest half of the party decided to go to the Elk's Club. I did not remember how bad the alcohol was in Maryville. I bought a fifth of Blueberry Stoli and left it at the rents house. From that point forward, it was a terrible craps shoot to find good booze. I went from Absolut to Level to Burnett's. Not a good progression. I did manage to drop one group of friends and my sister to finding some new people. Found a girl that graduated a few years after me. Had fun with them. Found a girl that I knew through Rachel (Hannah since you were wondering). Got some weird "gay friendly" man to show his penis in a bar (I think that is worth like twenty five scavenger hunt points). Went to a frat house. Kinda convinced them that I was an alum from a different school. Still sucked. Went home and had some drinks with Mom before she went to bed. Wasted.

Never want to go home again. From this point forward, everyone has to come see me. No more M-Ville. I could not even handle a weekend. Maybe I could if I just stayed in the house but that is kinda boring. I guess it was fine in the house (when my sister wasn't there).

And my mind keeps coming back to boys. There is so much crap with boys. There are ugly ones who are stalking me. Like literally stalking me at work and the bars. Ones that send me messages on myspace like I miss not seeing them. I just want to get through the bullshit and find someone pretty and nice. Is that so hard to ask. But from what I hear, I guess I am hard to understand.

I'm a terrible person

2007-09-10T22:45:00.000-05:00

I have not posted forever. I am a terrible person because of this, but I have my excuses. I have been extremely busy with the three jobs. I've been seeing several people but not for long periods of time. And I have not had access to internet for prolonged periods of time.

So here is a start (specifically for a few people).

Muny Boy dissappeared. Just stopped answering phone calls and would leave texts saying he was super busy. Disappointing. Temporary Boyfriend also went bye bye.

I am now managing a lounge. So now I have The Coffee Shop, The Diner, and The Lounge. Keep them straight. I have been having a great time with the staff at the Lounge and meeting new people. I'm learning how to bartend as they do (they think that I know what I'm doing).

The boys. The Co-Worker and I have slept together a few times more. He is moving to San Fransisco by the end of the year. The Man of My Dreams seems to be showing more interest in me but I'm still too much of a pussy to ask him out. I got close tonight. I asked out a boy with a skunk stripe in his hair. He moved back home with his parents.

The most recent addition is Philly. I got really really drunk on Friday. Like lots of Blueberry Stoli and Tonics. I went to Novaks. I was catching up with friends from college that are moving back to town. Out of nowhere, this guy tells me that I was dancing great or sexy on the dance floor or something like that. I had already seen him hitting on the Co-Worker but oh well. We start dancing. We exchange words. We are going back to his place. At some point in there he might have said his name. But I don't remember it. We get back to his loft. Very nice. Clothes come off in the kitchen. Fun is being had. We go to the bedroom. We start some stuff but something happened to where we didn't finish any stuff. Pass out. Wake up the next morning. The to be continued occurred. I give him my number. I try to spy at mail to find out his name. He asks if I'm hungry. I just leave. Work to do. Have to make deposits and stuff.

He waits two days. Calls me. I'm at The Diner doing inventory. I cannot hear him when he says. Hi Shane...? Yeah who is this? This is garble garble. Who...sorry I can't hear you. This is mumble mumble from the other night. Oh yeah...Hey. I missed his name again. Fuck Fuck. Still don't know his name but I'm supposed to call him Wednesday to see if he wants to do something. The morning was great. He is intelligent. Very nice. Good looking. Will call him. I've got plans to figure out the name.

Wedding this weekend. Super excited to get out of town. Very much need vacation. Detox. Drinking without need or intention. Lots of things to do before then. I hope that I get to post more frequently. The drama still continues it just doesn't get to be published.

... Is a Centerfold

2007-07-27T16:49:00.000-05:00

I am on the cover. Above the fold. And it looks like I'm naked.

I get more action on the walk home

2007-07-25T18:31:00.000-05:00

Apparently, I get more action on the way home than most people do in a month. This is what most people's opinions are. I believe that this is not true. But I did have a boy moaning my name last night. So you decide.

Things are going very well with the Muny Boy. Last night was fantastic. Monday night though, Temporary Boyfriend texted me. He apologized for disappearing. He told me he was depressed and wanted to talk to me. I told him that anytime he wanted to talk that he should just call. But I believe that he knows that we are not dating. Thats good.

My photo comes out Friday in the Vital Voice. I will be posting the pics when I get them. I still have not seen them. So excited and still very amused.

I had the flu over the weekend. That sucked. The medicine that I got made it seem like the fan was spinning when it wasn't even on. I feel way better now.

Anyway. Time for rehearsal. Have fun.

Birthday #24

2007-07-18T17:24:00.000-05:00

Yes it is my birthday. Huzzah! I am having a great day so far.

We got up. Had some mimosas with lunch. Went shopping for books. Talked to the hot boy at the bookstore. Got a manicure/pedicure. So far, awesome.

Thats not all. Currently, Temporary Boyfriend is so out. Pissed me off too much. I have spent too many weekends worried about whether or not he would call me. So I found someone semi-new. If you can remember back to last summer when I talked about Muny Boy and how cute he was, then you are great. I met this boy last summer. He had a boyfriend but was super cute. He was in a movie with Allison Janey (from the West Wing and others). We flirted a lot and had a great summer but he went away.

Skip to Sunday. I am talking to the cops about a crazy lady at the coffee shop. He walks up and gives me a great big hug and asks if I'll have time for a smoke break with him. During our smoke break, he asks me if I want to go see a movie with some of his friends. I rush around and get to the movie five minutes late. He has already bought my ticket and is very excited. After the movie, he asks if I want to go walking around the Loop with his friends. So we walk around and he invites me to his apartment. One thing led to another and "I've been waiting over a year for this to happen". He asked me to stay over. What we did was amazing. Toe-curling. It was incredible. Sweaty. Intense. One of my top three. It was necessary. And I felt bad after. I felt bad because I really do still like Temporary Boyfriend.

Since then though, Temporary Boyfriend has pissed me off again because he was lame last night. I told him that I would be going to the bars on my birthday. I could not hang out with him because he is not 21. He did not call me. He sent me a lame text message. So glad that I have someone who actually wants to do things with me. Otherwise, I would not be having such a good day.

All in all, I am thinking about me. That is what I need to do.

Tonight, I am going to Novak's. Jim told me that he was getting me a banner and some balloons and stuff. Kareoke. Alcohol. Fun stuff. People. I'm happy.

What you've all been waiting for.

2007-07-09T00:57:00.000-05:00

This is what you've been waiting for. Finally a post.

Temporary Boyfriend. He came over for Armageddon and we had a great time. Making out. Talking. Eating way too much Tipsy Melon. We decided to be Temporary until he goes back to college. Doesn't this sound wonderful? It would if I had talked to him since he left the Day After Armageddon. At the risk of sounding stalkerish, I have called him once and sent him six text messages all with no response. This is the twenty year old. He told me that I was impossibly nice. Way nicer than any other boy he had dated. I don't understand and it is driving me crazy.

Tipsy Melon. We are still cleaning up from the aftermath of Tipsy Melon. I think Tipsy Melon needs to be an outdoor activity. We had three Tipsy Melons this year. Way more than ever before. I was also way more sober than any other year. I can't explain that. I kept eating and eating. I had to shut myself off when I started feeling the effects of too much sugar.

Swim Trunk. I had my photo shoot to see me in my swim suit. Talk about crazy. The photographer took me to Union Station to the fountain. At first, I was just sitting on the side. Then he asked me to get in. Then he asked me to straddle the cement fish. I was getting sprayed in the face as he kept asking me to lean back further. I was soaking wet and he had to fix my hair. Then he asked me to change into my other trunks. I was in the middle of a lot of people. Not to object, I changed in my car with an old man looking in my direction (creepy). Then he had me standing on a ledge fifteen feet above the ground on hot stone (and I'm afraid of heights). All in all. Completely hysterical. I found it to be ridiculous that I was even doing this.

The Bitch. For those readers that have been around for awhile, I ran into The Bitch again. He walked up behind me as I was entering Novaks. It had been a terrible night anyway. He told me I looked good and had lost weight and that he wanted my smile. I told him he looked the same and paisley is so not in fashion (ever!). And since no one knows who this is (because I have lost all my readers since I haven't posted forever), I will explain briefly. Huge crush on him in college. Hurt my feelings. Big bitch. Didn't ever want to see him again. Now he might be moving to St. Louis.

Sorry its been so long. I have been ridiculously busy. I can't get anything done. I'll try to post more often.

Butt Fun

2007-06-13T16:59:00.000-05:00

It has been ten days since I updated. And let me tell you.

I have since quit the makeup store. I have acquired another management position (or reacquired). I have gone one a really happy date. I survived an extremely difficult weekend. I had very weird experiences. I survived.

Now for details. I am starting today and going backwards through the events.

The afternoon was spent running around and trying to get stuff done for the diner. I got to spend my day off waking up to a van waiting for me to start doing crazy things like going shopping.

He made out with me before he left. We had talked about doing such things all through the movie as we were sitting in my apartment alone. We watched Rules of Attraction and got pretty frisky in our conversation. We were watching television when I invited him to move onto the couch so that he could see the television better for the movie. At the end of dinner, he insisted on paying for the meal. I told him that I would take care of it. But he insisted on being a gentleman and making up for missing my improv show. He showed up right on time even though the movie that we planned on seeing wasn't going to start for another three hours.

He was flirting with me the whole time. Batting his eyelashes and asking me how things are going. The Paramedic wandered in on my morning of craziness. I'm still hungover as I woke up. Jenni called me to tell me the guys were there for the keg.

I talked to Harrison for most of the night. We were talking about his new boy and he showed me the naked pictures from when they had sex in his car earlier that day. I smoked some awesome pistachio tobacco from a hooka. I was on my fifth or sixth beer when Harrison showed up. The party was thriving. A lot more people showed up than I had expected. They were drawing faces on my ass. I got out of the shower and a party had collected in my living room and I was only wearing a towel. Exhausted, I decided to take a shower to wash away the pain from the day. The Miller Light people told us to take the keg home since we couldn't sell it back and The Boss gave it the okay.

I was so hungover all day. I passed out from a seventeen hour day. The lesbian neighbor's cat scratched the hell out of me. The lesbians offered me one more drink and I was sufficiently toasted. After talking to my best friend (in the world) Rachel, the lesbians got home and offered me a drink. I got off half an hour early and was supposed to go to The Postman's birthday party but got a phone call from a number I recognized but was completely not from any place that I recognized. I spent all day on my golf cart driving around and trying not to run over people. The event was crowded.

I finally got my alcohol. They kept calling me "ma'am" over the phone which pissed me off even more. The night before I realized that going into a major event that required alcohol, we had no alcohol!

Wow its been awhile since I posted.

Performance Space

2007-06-03T22:47:00.000-05:00

Sorry that it has been awhile. I finally got done with my performances and now have absolutely no free time. As if I had any free time before, now it is gone. The Taste of the Central West End is this weekend. That means craziness and madness will happen this week at work. But since last time...

I did not have another one night stand. Three cheers for that. I have been a good boy. It seems that all of the options that I had last week are drying up but that is good because I think that I'm PMSing. I've been super pissy and cranky for the past three days. I did get to see a penis though. We made out a lot but did not exchange numbers. That might still happen. He's thirty and describes himself as a "nice guy".

Project Improv St. Louis had its debut performances and they were successful. We had a good crowd each night and the shows were all good. A newspaper is going to review us so we'll see how other people saw it.

I have also been sick for the past two weeks. I don't quite know what it is or was, but it was nasty. I blame part allergies and part summer cold. Who knows.

I'm thinking of quitting the makeup store. I just don't feel appreciated at all. They are making me very upset and trying to use me. I don't think I can put up with it anymore. None of my co-workers came to see the show. Even The Co-Worker. He didn't have time to. Whatever. Working with him wasn't awkward though. I will miss my discount and spending time somewhere other than the coffee shop. But I really don't think my $40 paycheck is worth it.

I guess I don't know what else to say. I have other things to say but I don't want to say it. I will say that I'm a little pissed but that is all I have to say about that.

I'm going home. It has been a long weekend and its going to be a long week. Cheers.

Cut and Dry

2007-05-20T17:20:00.001-05:00

I don't remember his name. I only heard it once. It might begin with a J or an N. He was 21 and washes hair for a living. I accidentally started dancing with him. I was dancing with my friend Jodi when we started grinding. Then we really started grinding. Then I realized that he had a hole in the side of his pants right where his underwear was. He told me he wasn't a slut. Then we made out on the dance floor of Novak's.

He asked if I wanted to go home with him. I had been attempting to take someone home all night so it might as well be him. He was kinda sexy. A sloppy kisser but with promise. Everything seemed like it could go well. I drove him home and he told me where he had to be in the morning. Her Highness was just getting home from work. That always looks bad when I bring a new boy home.

We start making out again. He immediately takes off his pants and asks where the restroom is. He is very very drunk. He comes back into my room and tells me that he can't figure out how to flush the toilet (a very difficult thing to figure out sober). I at this point am just wearing my underwear. Its been a long day and I just wanted to get to the point. I had to pull his shirt off him because he was unable to get it off and kept muttering something about Abercrombie.

Once naked, I thought that things would start going. He mumbled a few things which resembled, "I will fuck you if you want." To which I said I just wanted to mess around. He then kept mumbling things (which is not really attractive in the bedroom environment). Eventually, after progressing to a lay still, we stopped and he said that he was sorry. He kept saying that he was sorry and that he just couldn't tonight. So defeated, I rolled over and went to sleep. He did not achieve anything.

So this morning, he woke me up by grabbing me. I thought maybe this could be nice. Nope still wasn't. I won't go into the details here cause it just might get too much like porn. But how disappointing can a one-night stand get?

I drove him home and neither of us asked for the other's number. I was no longer interested. But he should have been. Maybe he just knew.

Happy Best

2007-05-11T00:16:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Rachel. I was trying to find pictures of us together from our many trips and could not find any easily accessible. But I love you though. This is a part of your birthday present. I will get creative.

Broken Down

2007-05-10T14:40:00.000-05:00

They tried to steal my car. They broke the lock. They broke the ignition off. They fucked with my steering column. All in all over $600 in damage. My father blames it all on me. Somehow, this costing so much is because I want my car to look pretty. What I'm not telling him is that I'm having my ignition replaced with a solid gold one. It will look prettier. The column is going to be bedazzled with diamond jewels. My lock is going to speak to me when I put my key in. It will say "Hey Mister I like it when you put it there." So I don't really think this is unnecessary costs. It is simply to keep someone else from attempting to steal my car.

Chicago was a fucking blast. I got to see old college friends who reminded me that theatre does happen and that sometimes it sucks your soul out. The food show was exhausting. So much to look at. It was intimidating to be important. I wasn't important but I sure did pretend to be.

I got lost in Chicago approximately as many times as I did not get lost. I used my horn as a weapon. I cursed a lot. We did not get to see much of the city. That was kinda sad. I wanted to do some major shopping. I didn't really have the funds to do that anyway though.

After finding out that someone attempted to steal my car, I decided to go out and get wasted. Well I decided to go out for a drink. Someone else decided that I should get wasted. These two guys from Florida decided to be my friend. There is only so long that I can not be nice to someone before they get me to be nice back. They convince me to go with them to Novak's even though I have no support system and no car to get me out of trouble. I think I almost got into a threesome because I was so drunk. I just took control of the cab and told the cabbie to take me a block away from my home. I don't even want to begin to describe how terrible it was getting. All I could say to Her Highness when I got home was "bad bad bad bad bad." I guess I also told her that I might have been drugged. They might have believed that I got drugged too because I was acting very strangly. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Fuss Buzzer

2007-05-05T17:55:00.000-05:00

I am so busy it hurts. I have run around all day for the past six days trying to get everything arranged so that I could leave town. It is hard to go on a planned trip. You actually have to arrange things before you go. Chicago tomorrow. I'm super excited. Two days. It is going to be fun fun and work.

I have started to advertise for the show in May. Tickets are on sale now. You want to see me act in super form improv, then find me.

I will be out for the next few days, but Her Highness and I will definitely be taking pictures while we are away. Road trip.

For your sake and mine, don't ever read the great works of Eugene O'Neill for fun. It is not very fun.

Never Date a Coworker

2007-05-03T15:38:00.000-05:00

I should say this before you all get any ideas. Never date a coworker. It is generally a bad idea. I am telling you this because not the entire world told me this before I started seeing Stock Boy.

So he stood me up on Monday night. Pissed. Then he didn't call at all. He came into the makeup store on Wednesday after my terrible day of no sleep. Didn't call after that. Even more pissed. So last night, cranky and having found a better option, I send him a text message that says "So are you over me?" I didn't get the response until this morning. His response was, "I haven't been going out this week...(edited for privacy) im not over u. i wanna be friends. i cant be in a relationship though." So he officially ended it with me but that is ok. I was getting too pissed anyway. But that relationship is over. We'll see how it goes working with him. Bad situation.

The D.C. Greg is doing fine though. We were flirting and dancing last night (before Stock Boy was over). He is super nice and very hot. It isn't fair that he isn't in St. Louis. But I think I might try to enjoy my time with him while he's here (enjoy my time is code for something--you guess).

Tuesday night, I got called in to work an overnight at the coffee shop. Wednesday morning, I was scheduled to work at the makeup store. I went straight from one to the other. I didn't sleep for twenty six hours. This made most things very amusing. Taking out the trash with Susan was a short form comedy. We had to take out two very large loads of trash. Susan is very small. The trash was probably three times her size. We couldn't make it around corners without losing most of the load. It took us about an hour to take out the trash. This kept me from embarrasing myself in front of customers.

I sang two Bonnie Tyler songs at kareoke last night. "Holding Out for a Hero" was awesome. Everyone was looking at us singing but no one clapped when we got done. I think my fly was down or something. Then we sang "Total Eclipse of the Heart" which is one of the best songs ever written.

I might just be 100% crazy now. It is my theory that I might have gone back to 0% but that probably isn't true.

Less Drunk Update

2007-04-30T14:31:00.000-05:00

Now that I'm not reeling from too much alcohol and drama, it is time for a better recap of Saturday night.

I went to the Drag King contest at Novaks Saturday evening. This meant that I started drinking pretty early in the day. That doesn't mean that I stopped any earlier. That just means that I got more time to drink more. This was pretty obvious by about midnight. Anyway. The drag show was awesome because my friend won. It was her first time performing in a drag king contest and she won. We were celebrating the win and having a good time when Christine showed up from my improv troup. I was having a good time dancing on stage and having fun. I ended up making out with one of St. Louis' more famous drag queens (not in drag). I don't really know how that happened or why. I think that it was just for fun but it was super trashy. Once something like that starts, I don't really know how to stop it. I did not want this to happen. It was just the culmination of bad people hitting on me all day long and not getting any love from the guy that I might be dating. So I make bad decisions when I have drunk too much.

I also made amends with MIKE and that was bad news. But he hasn't called me and hasn't myspaced me. It could have been bad news, but I decided to leave instead. I think we both realized that it was getting too close. He said that he should probably go. I thought that was a good idea.

Stock Boy and I are hanging out tonight. We got assigned to work together on a project. That was amusing. I don't know how it is going but I do like him.

Time for more work. I hope that I don't make any more bad choices.

Bad Boy

2007-04-29T02:13:00.000-05:00

So. I have been a bad boy. MIKE came back into the situation. We got all close and almost made out. Bad bad. Stock Boy said he wasn't feeling well. I went out to the Drag King contest. My friend won. It was awesome. Long story. Be back in the morning to blog the rest.

Ooooh

2007-04-26T14:42:00.000-05:00

I know you all have been wanting to see a picture of Stock Boy, so here it is.

If you wanted to see his face, then you will have to wait.

I am having a crazy week. I am never leaving St. Louis again. Or maybe I will never be allowed to leave St. Louis ever again. I am pretty balanced, but everyone else seems to be shitting into the fan. Everywhere things are going crazy. I do mean everywhere. I have got boys hitting on me all over the place. It is getting ridiculous. I don't have a whole lot else to say anyway. I wanted to post pictures of me and my cow but my computer is being shitty. It won't recognize such things as an internet connection. I am pissed at my computer.

I Mistake

2007-04-20T17:01:00.000-05:00

So I may have made a slight jump to conclusions earlier. Stock Boy is just fine. Called me. Everything ok.

Last night, I went out with the makeup store co-workers to celebrate the last night of my favorite boss. I got there and everyone was wasted. Leslie went with me as my coffee shop representative. She got to meet Stock Boy and didn't really approve.

The story at the makeup store was that no one died and I played hookie. This was caused by the Stock Boy completely forgetting that he was with me when I got the phone call. When someone mentioned that I was out of town for a funeral, the rumor mill started. They all started talking about how I am an actor and there wasn't a death. This made everyone a little bit angry and Stock Boy a little concerned. It took me about two seconds to clear that up. I can't believe that they all would think that I would lie about a thing like that.

Tonight is the exhibition where my photo is being sold. I'm super excited about someone hanging a picture of me above their mantle. Me above a fireplace. Ooooh.

He Does Not Care

2007-04-19T15:29:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the longest day in the whole wide world. I got brutally woken up very early in the morning for the funeral and was told that I was already running late. I had not had a cigarette and was already miserable. I ran around trying to get everything packed up and get myself looking presentable.

The funeral was around two hours long. Can you believe that? They had a slideshow. They read the program/biography. They played several songs. They read notes from the family. It was borderline ridiculous. I was supposed to leave town at noon to be able to get back for photos. We were not even to my part of the funeral by noon. I was a pallbearer and I had no idea how heavy a casket could be. My grandmother's casket wasn't that heavy or maybe I was not in the right spot.

My father was in the military salute. I had never even seen him hold a gun. If you have not experienced a military service, I don't recommend it. It is super duper loud and scary. They were standing about ten feet from the crowd. I think they should be farther away.

Iowa is a terrible state to travel across. No one knows how to drive and you will pop over a hill to meet the ass end of a tractor. Scary. I did not run into a tractor but I did get a speeding ticket. A very hefty speeding ticket in my opinion. He was not even sympathetic. Did not care about the funeral and the fact that I had no idea what the speed limit was.

I got to hang out with the Jenorama. And I made it back to St. Louis in seven hours. That is not record time.

And then to make things worse, the Stock Boy did not return my phone calls last night so I slept alone. Yes this is where you feel very sorry for me. Time to go back to work.

I'm Home

2007-04-16T16:30:00.000-05:00

It is time for a huge update. Right now, I am blogging from my parent's house. I got news on Friday night that my father's cousin died. This man took care of me a lot as a child and was constantly around. When my parents went on vacation, he and his wife often watched us on their farm in Iowa. So, the funeral is this week and I took off work to make the six hour trip home.

I left Saturday after work to drive to KVille to see a play. It was definitely the best theatre that I have seen in years. Wonderful performances and a wonderful set. It was a very pleasurable experience. I went to the Dukum to have drinks after the play to see a professor and see who I would run into. It was fun to see a lot of people but it gets old telling people the same story to the same question over and over. "What are you doing these days?"

After the Dukum, I went to the cast party to see all the theatre kids. This party was soooo different from any party we threw in college. None of the underclassmen knew who I was. They hadn't heard stories about me at all. It was shocking. The professors were all fun and all the upperclassmen were very excited. I am glad that I got to see all the kids before they graduated. I even got to participate in a pledge ceremony for the theatrical society that I belong to.

I got lost on the way home. It was dark and I must have missed my turn somewhere. I ended up almost in Iowa not knowing how to get to where I needed to be. I was already very stressed out and almost had a panic attack when a bunny ran in front of the car.

This morning, my mother woke me up to tell me that my great-grandmother had fallen and broken her leg (possibly hip) and would be having surgery today. She is extremely old and senile. She doesn't recognize anyone and told us that her leg hurt and she was probably going to die. She told most everyone that they had gotten fat and that her suitcase was stolen.

I don't even know what else is going to happen while I'm here. I feel like I need to get back as soon as I can. This place is driving me crazy by the minute. The boy from D.C. already texted me to see what I was doing this week. I feel out of place and not like myself.

Stock Boy

2007-04-12T13:48:00.000-05:00

I have spent three nights together with my co-worker. I think this means that we are dating. And I am ok with this. His nickname (without the approval of Her Highness) will be Stock Boy. I tried to think of something more scandalous but came up with nothing. We spent the night together Saturday, Monday and last night.

Last night, without rehearsal, I was able to get an early start on the kareoke. I had met this guy last week who was in town on business. I was sitting at a table by myself looking for another song to sing. He walked over to me and asked me why I was sitting by myself after being a kareoke rockstar. We started chatting because he wasn't creepy. He was intelligent and nice and wicked attractive. But then he left.

So this week, before Stock Boy got to Novaks, this guy shows up and starts talking to me. It was nice. He was flirting. He thought I was funny. I still hadn't figured out what the story with the co-worker was, so I flirted back. So Stock Boy shows up and this guy (Greg) is flirting with me. The mating dance was on.

Greg talks about songs I should sing. Depressing song comes on. I say not as depressing as Careless Whisper. He suggests I sing this. I tell story about college and dance. I tell him I dance to that song not sing. Stock Boy sits back angrily smoking. I start talking to Stock Boy about how gay dancing was in college and my college experience. Greg steals back the conversation. I go up to sing. I was a little nervous. I get back and tell them that I was nervous and that my ears feel like they are burning. They both grab my ears and give me a hug at the same time. Both give each other the look of "I found him first". Tension is rising.

Stock Boy retreats to a table not far away while Greg and I get drinks. This is when Stock Boy ups his game. When I invite Greg to the table, Stock Boy grabs my leg and kisses me on the cheek. Stock Boy then makes an attempt to sit on my leg while I am on a bar stool. I continue to have casual conversation with Greg about his work and his friends. Stock Boy knows he has won at this point. Greg knows he has lost. Greg gathers his stuff, leaving half a drink, and tells us that he is heading back to his hotel. Before he goes though, he gets my number so we can hang out when he gets back to town. Greg has not given up.

Mating dances are fun. And yes, I am a bad person. But who could let a hot guy from out of town get mixed in with the wrong crowd while he is here. I must take him under my wing.

Sleeping with the Coworker

2007-04-10T20:47:00.000-05:00

I am definitely sleeping with my coworker. Here is how it all went down.

We went out together Saturday night with a few of our fellow coworkers. He kept talking about this dream that he had the night before but wouldn't say what the dream was about. He kept hanging on me and kissing me (which is slightly normal). We got quite a bit drunker and he finally revealed that he had a sex dream about me the night before. I did not find it that weird.

So we go to Novaks and get absolutely ridiculous. We are making out on the dance floor and pretty much anywhere we want to. This is in front of various coworkers, boys that I've had crushes on, and pretty much anyone who had eyes. It would have been embarrassing if I wasn't so drunk.

So then he asks if he can spend the night at my place (you know being as how he is so drunk). I, of course, agree. I can tell you this, it was really nice to have someone to sleep with. So my basic thoughts were that it was a one night thing and we would just move on (like what happened the last time I slept with a coworker). You know some fun with someone you know.

But then last night, we went out again. He was all kissing on me and playing a little grab ass and such at the bar. We went home together again. He is really sweet to me pretty much all the time which is really nice. He is hot. I like him, but is he boyfriend material? I don't really think so. I am boggled.

Awesome

2007-04-06T00:02:00.000-05:00

Yes. I am awesome. A lesbian bought me a drink last night. New haircuts rule. And no, she didn't think I was a hot lady.

She was watching me dance and came over and asked me what I was drinking. She handed me my drink and walked away. I don't know why. My drink was empty.

Drama. You ready?

2007-04-04T16:46:00.000-05:00

I guess I should start with the beginning of last night rather than the juiciest of the stories.

The Postman's most recent ex asked me if he could be in the wife's club. I'm the first wife and he is the second wife. This is becoming a very sick relationship. Both have already moved on to the next. I am being the sophisticated first wife and just being bitter and single.

I was out with a co-worker who downed several tequila shots mixed with beer as soon as we hit the bar. I was taking it cool with a vodka tonic. Just a very chill night for me. Maybe find someone to flirt with but I went in with no expectations. She on the other hand went in with drunken expectations. It might also be good to add that I had slept literally all day because I think that I might be sick.

Her friend shows up and we are all chatting and having fun. Then she runs into a former friend and they get into it. Then my first ex in St. Louis (I don't remember his nickname if he even had one) and this boy start flirting and then making out. Right in front of me. Not cool. They all get just a little bit drunker and I start to talk to other people to get away. This is when I started to turn into a bitch. They invite me to go to Novak's with them. I suggested maybe we take two cars but they say no. I leave my jacket in the van and head in to drink a lot because I don't have to be responsible.

The boys still continue to make out right in front of us. Co-worker suggests that we go to the other side of the bar. I play some video crack while she runs around drunk dialing. At some point, she gets into it with her friend and he says he wants to go home. He asked her if that was ok. Of course it isn't ok. It is a very rude/uncouth thing to do. He goes ahead and leaves us at the bar. Stranded. Pissy. Drunk. My jacket still in his van. What fucking drama. I was pissed as fuck.

We eventually got a ride home. I really just wanted to go home at this point. Cut my losses. I'm done.

So today, I start over. New beginning. Rethink what I'm doing. Get a haircut.

Color, highlight and haircut. Freakin awesome. I love it. I also made my way downtown to take care of a ticket so I didn't get thrown in jail. Start fresh.

I think I could be...

2007-03-29T15:15:00.000-05:00

Something about this weather makes me not feel great. I'm glad that the weather happened today and not yesterday for my performance. Oh yes that is right, our performance was awesome. I have missed an audience so much. I was a little nervous but then quickly got over it. For those of you that missed it, I was naked for almost the entire second performance. Hot. Let me recap a little.

The Postman, Rosie, Susan from the makeup store, my friend Lauren, and my friend's dad all showed up to the performance. I had a pretty good turnout. We did two performances. The first was a little shaky but still good (let me emphasize that I felt I was a little shaky). I took my shirt off as a special forces firefighter. Pushups and fighting over a woman.

The second performance was a retelling of a story from college with a little exaggeration. I took the classic Farmaggedon story from blog past. Classic college story of getting wasted in a cornfield. I exaggerated the story to make my character completely naked which did happen at the party but not me. My character also got arrested (still completely naked). I wish that I had been completely naked but there were kids there.

After the performance, I went out to Novaks and had a few drinks with some karaoke mixed in. The Postman told me more information about how he wants to end it with his boyfriend. I am glad that he confides in me and I tell his secrets on the internet. I have a Saturday off so I get to go dancing. Woohoo. I hope that means that I have fun this weekend. Asian Nurse and The Interpreter are so neither an option anymore. They suck. I hope that the Planned Parenthood boy calls me sometime or I run into him again. We were having a blast on Tuesday. Plus, according to Her Highness, he is super hot. Gotta do an interview. Have a great blah Thursday. Look forward to the weekend.

Very Quick

2007-03-27T21:48:00.000-05:00

Bad sex=Better than bad date.

My pants won't stay on tonight. Who has a belt?

Cleaning my room is no fun.

When did it get so hot in here?

Internet providers suck major.

Twenty hours of work and no sleep will make you go just a little bit crazier. Now I'm 78.5% crazy.

My sneak preview rehearsal is tomorrow night. I'm a little bit nervous. I'm not as nervous for that as I am the Friday night performance. I haven't been public in quite a while.

That is a blog.

Somebody is Gonna Get It

2007-03-22T20:58:00.000-05:00

In a matter of twenty days, I have had my license plates stolen twice. Twice dammit. Both times they just ripped them straight off the car. I'm super pissed now. This time it is going to cost me over $30. The police and especially the license bureau have no sympathy for me. I asked the police if they would just take off my parking ticket since I had so much trouble this month. They laughed at me. Now mind you I was ranting and raving so it was only appropriate to laugh uncomfortably. Pissed.

In other news, I might have a kind of date tomorrow. Very nice boy. Friend of the Postman's boyfriend (who might soon be ex-boyfriend--shhh its a secret). This boy is very intelligent and he wanted to make sure that I was going to go see the play on Friday. He also followed me to Novaks and we had a fun time. He also showed me a picture of his penis. This was after I basically accidentally found a picture of a penis on another friends phone. So it wasn't entirely out of context. His penis is quite large.

Anyway, time to go back to work. I have lots more to tell but it will wait til I have more than just a break. See ya.

Color Me Green

2007-03-18T19:01:00.000-05:00

As most of you know, St. Patrick's Day was yesterday. That is the only day that I fully accept my name and heritage to its fullest. I was in bed with the Interpreter (I'll explain that later) when I got a phone call from my friend Erika. She has previously mentioned possibly working for her during the parade, but the phone call at 8 am was a little rough. I had to walk about a mile and the parade wasn't supposed to start for another couple of hours. Immediately, I was offered a cherry bomb. Woo. What a way to start off a day before 10 am. I was working a beer tub with giant 24 oz beers. I was instructed to make them green.

It turns out there is a trick. Poke a hole in the food coloring so you don't get it all over your hands. These are my hands after several hundred times washing my hands. They were bright green last night.

I was definitely drunk by 11 am. They kept giving me alcohol and jello shots and green beer. And I kept drinking them. I was standing on top of a crate screaming jello shots and PBR to try to get people to come buy them from me. It mostly worked. I was fairly busy all day. I don't really remember seeing the parade. I think I noticed it at one point. It was fifteen feet in front of me anyway. Who wouldn't have missed it? I got so drunk that I almost fell off of my crate. It was pretty ridiculous. I got several numbers from girls pawning out their hot gay friends. Apparently, I was approved for dating these boys. I thought they were hitting on me until they gave me their boy's numbers. I pretty much had a great time and was hungover by 8 pm. It was a bizarre day and my first St. Patty's Day Parade ever. I will definitely be going back. I lost my voice from screaming all day. I was pretty much wasted in many forms of the word.

The Interpreter. I went home with him Friday night after he told me how hot I was and how he had a crush on me since the day he met me. So, seeing as how I was drunk and my roommate was gone, I decided what the hell. Let me set up the entire scenerio. I was supposed to go out with my co-worker, Ava. She got locked out of her apartment and didn't have money or her ID. We went to Amp and then I left her at the Diner so I could go to Novaks. He was at Novaks, drunk as shit I might add. We started making out and he invited me home.

After inviting me home, a fight broke out and I almost got in the middle of it not doing anything. I gave Ava my key and she drove me to his apartment where I was meeting him. He picked me up and took me to Del Taco (talk about worst fast food ever). The car behind us got out of line or something and then tried to get in front of us. A truck behind us started honking and yelling. It basically looked like a fight was breaking out because everyone was getting out of their cars and yelling and kicking the vehicles. The Interpreter called 911 because it was getting intense. After that fiasco, we went back to his apartment and made out some more and then went to bed. He has a waterbed. How 1980 is that? That is basically the end of the story because he passed out. We cuddled naked and I got the phone call in the morning so we didn't even fool around in the morning. I left him a note telling him to give me a call. He has not yet. Oh well. It was interesting to say the least.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. Live green.

P.S.--Who doesn't love the new blog design? This was exactly what I asked for. I love it.

The Bidding Begins

2007-03-15T20:19:00.000-05:00

The improv troup is having a sneak performance for 5 of our closest friends. Wednesday, March 28th at 8 PM. This also gets you a free seat at our first performances. Instead of choosing my five closest friends (who really wants to pick your top friends--ahem myspace), I will leave it up to the highest bidders. Tell me how bad you want these tickets. What will you do for me?

And on that note, we will also be performing Friday, March 30th at an improv festival. Sounds pretty damn exciting. If you are interested in that too, send me an email or call me or leave a comment. Whatever you want to do.

Inspired

2007-03-15T18:40:00.000-05:00

Since the beginning of the year, I've been having a tryst with myself over what I'm doing and who I am. This goes for career and personal life. Now don't get me wrong, I am very happy and very satisfied with life in general right now.

So with Jenni moving out and Her Highness moving in, I have made a switch in who I reveal the most to. I have another confidant. Jenni still gets a lot of what I need to get out because I call her all the time, but she doesn't get all of the little details. Her Highness experiences most of the little details with me so doesn't necessarily want to hear all of them again. I think I'm getting bottled up. This is directly connected to not having a boyfriend. This is what I am most looking for with a partner. Someone who wants to hear about all of the details. I happen to think that I live a very interesting life. And all of the attempts to find the ideal boyfriend definitely have failed so far. According to my horoscope, this is the year that I find love. And it better not be one of those "oh but you found true love for yourself" type bullshit responses.

Do you believe that some people are just supposed to be famous? Most of the time I feel like a celebrity. Let me explain. Last night, I went to karaoke at Novaks. I walked in the door and the bouncer told me that she didn't need to see my ID because she knew me. The thing is that I have no idea who she is. I recognize most of the people working at the bar even though I don't actually know them. She very much knew me though. Several people that I had seen before asked me if I had a good time at the concert who I hadn't noticed being there. When I was announced to sing, two girls started screaming my name. They knew me from the coffee shop because one of their friends has a huge crush on me. It came to my attention that I knew pretty much everyone at the bar.

I'm pretty sure that I am ok with being famous. I already have those extremely true friends (most of whom read this blog) who will stick with me through my horrible marriage to my backup singer, through shaving my head, through rehab. You know the true friends. I am ready for more than fifteen minutes.

I need to go back to school. It is time for grad school and more adventures in a new city. This will not be happening soon though. I have a lot of investments that are paying off right now. I don't have the money to relocate or put myself through school. I also need to grow up a lot. I have a lot of personal growth to achieve before I can be a true success. This boy needs to mature a little and I really don't know how to do it. I know that I should probably calm down and stop going out as much, but I really enjoy going out and being quite crazy. I am already saving money and thinking about my future. I guess I am growing into adulthood.

This is full of musings. I was inspired by Jenorama to post something a little more significant than I have been. I will get back to regular posts about crazy stuff very soon.

What the Holy Jake Shears

2007-03-14T17:03:00.000-05:00

First. What happened to my blog? I had my template that I liked. Not liked, loved. So for the time being, probably til sometime next week, my blog will look a little not like I want it. Bear with me.

Second. Asian Nurse makes his reappearance. I was extremely tired and listening to a lot of bad advice. I decided why shouldn't I try to make this work. So he is flirting with me. Telling me that he knows what I'm going through and how busy I am. So I decide that maybe I can make this work. He really is a nice guy. He's thirty but doesn't come close to looking it. He is very stable and considerate. He has given me lots of time and has not stopped pursuing me.

But I really don't think I can make it work. He is looking for someone who is not me. I don't know who he thinks I am but I am very independent and I work a lot. I do not need to have a doting boyfriend. I want a boyfriend who works as hard as I do and wants to just have a lot of fun. This is probably why my last relationships have failed but I know that I can't handle someone who needs to have me more than I have time for. I can't work like that. I cannot constantly battle for me time.

So enough about how he doesn't work. Lets talk about last night. We went over to his apartment. He has two giant kitties which shed hair everywhere. I mean everywhere. He gave me a back massage and watched a movie. We made out and, as he was having issues, explained to me that he had masturbated earlier in the night. He then wanted to watch me masturbate. I just don't think that is hot. Seriously, how much worse can my sex life get.

Oh yeah. THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART. So the Scissor Sisters concert was awesome. Jake Shears looked me in the eye. He was sweaty and shirtless and hot. I was only about ten feet away from him. He was gorgeous. I went to PinUp Bowl after because a guy I went to school with works there. I was hanging out with a guy that I had hooked up with in college who so still wanted me. And he has a boyfriend. So I wanted to go to Novaks. Jenni and I left. On our way to Novaks, my friends (still at PinUp) text me to tell me that Jake Shears kissed him on the cheek. Jake Shears and Ana Matronic showed up about two minutes after I left and they waited ten minutes to call me. I could have turned around and met the love of my life. Damn my luck. There is always next time.

Oh so Tired

2007-03-09T23:49:00.000-06:00

I have been running on fumes all week. This week needs to be done. All people have been doing is complaining. That completely brings me down. I just want to be chipper and perky all the time.

I got another damned parking ticket. Son of a Bitch. I mean seriously how many of those things can I get in one month. I think the answer is three. The police need to ease up on me. They should know give a "you got your plates stolen" here is a free voucher for a parking ticket.

Did I tell you that Banker quit. I'm still very upset about this.

The Postman answered the phone when he was naked in bed with a boy. I was very disturbed by this. He just volunteered that information too. I didn't ask what he was up to.

I took some pictures of myself with my Burt Reynolds. I guess that is what the majority of the post is about. I just really wanted to post some pics. If I weren't working so much, I might have more to put on the blog. And work is not interesting. I did almost get into a fight tonight though. These guys were all in my face. I was a little scared but I did not show it. Sometimes I feel like a tiny dog against the beast. I hold my own but I look like I could get taken in a second. I fight rough is what I say to myself in my head.

This is the infamous mustache you have all been waiting for.

You should really start asking yourself if I'm wearing any clothes.

The answer is maybe.

Oh and I think my neck looks super skinny in this photo. Like scary skinny. I'm worried about myself.

Survivor

2007-03-05T23:29:00.000-06:00

I survived the weekend with my parents. They were not too bad. I left them to watch movies. I worked a lot. We went out to eat. It was fun. And they got me a digital camera for Christmas. A nice one. I've already started taking photos for the blog but forgot to bring my connector thingy for the computer.

My mother did, of course, snoop through my things. She found the gay movie in my collection and made a point to bring it up. I want to tell her because I think she knows. But what if she does not know and it is a complete shock to her.

My sister pissed me off. She called me drunk Saturday night to tell me that I was terrible for not getting the weekend off to spend time with my parents. When I told her that I work three jobs, she got all bitchy and said that I can't use that because she works three jobs too. I almost pulled out the big bitch card. I manage two places. She is a nanny and a waitress. I don't even know what her third job is. I was super pissed because I don't believe that she works nearly as hard as me. But I did not pull the bitch card yet but she better be prepared for it.

One week til Scissor Sisters.

I am so excited for this. Jake Shears is a god.

In boy news, there is none. I have a date to play board games with someone but that is about it. Boring. I know. I will try to spice it up tomorrow night. Happy Tuesday night.

Tonight, I am just getting ready for work. I'm all sported out. I have the headband on and the hair tossled. It is time for all store cleaning. I am soooo excited. I'm also exhausted.

Mika is my new crush. He is super hot and probably gay. And his song Gracce Kelly has got me going.

Her Highness is all moved in and her kitty is so precious. It likes to sleep on my lap and eat my food.

Post PMS

2007-03-02T17:52:00.000-06:00

I'm over it. Pretty sure I was just massively PMSing.

Parents are coming to town this weekend. DaDaDoooon (music of doom). Scary. I really didn't want them to but they are bringing down my plates. And silverware funny enough. They are going to hang out at the diner on Saturday and then spend time with me on Sunday. I don't know if I'll make it through the weekend.

I am sporting a rather nice stash though. Very Burt Reynolds or Brandon Flowers. I think it looks great but it is negatively affecting our tips. It did put me in a very good mood. It looks ridiculous.

I don't think I have anything else. But everything is looking up. Thank god. I feel better and the world looks brighter. Happy Birthday L-Bomb.

Tornado

2007-03-01T15:16:00.000-06:00

The weather is bad and my life feels like a tornado. Evidently, on one side of the state it is a blizzard and you can't see two blocks away. On this side of the state, the weather is gorgeous. The wind is blustery but it is nice enough to wear a short sleeve shirt and walk to work.

Why would I be walking to work though? Because my liscence plates were ripped off of my car. The fuckers keep picking on my car. That story comes at the end of the post. Let me tell you about when I discovered it.

I had just had the worst hookup in the history of St. Louis. I am still pissed about this. He seemed very nice and very hot. Then we got home and he tried to take things too far. I was really drunk and not having a good time. Instead of throwing him out, I just told him that I was done and if he wasn't that was his choice. I was done. I tried to go to sleep. He passed out before I did. And he started snoring. Like really loud trying to keep me awake snoring. Like thunder in a metal cage. Like a terrible noise coming from his lungs that needs to be checked out. I'm surprised that Her Highness did not hear it. He kept me up most of the night. Pissed me off.

So I get up in the morning after not sleeping and start making noise around the living room. He comes out a little while later and starts to try talking to me. I decide to get him out of the house so I tell him that I'm going for a smoke. He follows. I'm standing on the porch trying not to talk to him. Then I look at my car and see missing plates. I need to call my parents and the police and get this taken care of and he is still just lingering around. I want him to leave but can't tell him. Finally, he gets a little bit of the hint and asks if I'll call him. He gives me his number but he had lost his phone so I did not give him mine. I will not be calling him.

I take the entire day off. I finally got some laundry done but apparently not enough. My sheets were not dry after two cycles in the dryer. I slept on wet sheets. The comforter was dry but the sheets were still damp. At that point I did not even care. I went to bed.

This morning, after working a little, I start my adventure of trying to get my plates replaced. I knew that going to the DMV would probably not work, but I needed to try the easy way first. The car is in my parents name. I've never been to a DMV like in the movies. Typically, it has been a woman sitting at a desk giving me as much trouble as possible for being the only person she has seen that hour. I sit and wait about half an hour til they tell me that my parents have to give me power of attorney before they will give me plates. The other option was to go downtown and get the police report and fax it to my parents. Oh and the DMV sucks.

I got lost trying to find the place. All I know is that it is downtown. Like a boy in the city, I go to the first big building on the street of the address. Walking into the building almost got me a strip search. Courthouse. They tell me to go back to where I parked basically. I get a good search at the police something or other. The office looks straight out of the seventies. They give me my report (charge me another $5 for my inconvenience) and send me on my way. The parking lot that I parked in was apparently not open to the public. I got followed to my car by the parking attendant. I'm positive they would have given me a ticket if I had plates. I get a lot of crap and get told to leave when I tell him that I was done and leaving. I show him my copy of the ticket. He lets me go.

Now it is all up to my parents. They are either going to overnight my plates OR come down to see me this weekend. Sounds like fun? Oh you bet. I just know that I'm going to get pulled over with my lack of plates. So yeah, I feel like I'm in a tornado. I hope that I get to go to D.C. this summer. I also want to go to Connecticut. The Sweet Escape. Everything was going great until I tried to get what I wanted. Turns out what I wanted was definitely not what I wanted. Anyone else got some ideas as to what I want. Her Highness was wrong. The Postman can suck his telling me that I don't know what I want. What I want is for him to stop telling me what I don't know.

I'm going to work. Good luck L-Bomb.

Popular?

2007-02-27T19:20:00.000-06:00

So apparently, I am a pseudo-celebrity on SLU's campus. This guy came into the coffee shop last night and asked if he could take my picture for a project he is working on. The project involves taking someone's picture that you have a specific relationship with and then the class has to guess what the relationship is. When the project was assigned, apparently I was the first idea to come into his mind. He then started telling people about this. Of the five people he told, three of them said that they knew me. So I guess I am popular.

Another thing that brings this up. I have a fake boyfriend. I am dating a guy named Max who I don't know. He has told a few people that we are dating. He also knows all the places that I work. So either he stalks me or I've talked to him and can't remember who he is. But I am flattered. At least the fake me is getting some love and attention.

The Postman has decided that I don't know what I want. And he has started to tell boys this. He told Asian nurse that I didn't know what I wanted and therefore must be trying not to hurt him by starting a relationship with him. I am glad that he knows me better than I know myself.

The Oscars were awesome. I was in a three way tie for first place at the Zone. The grand prize was an Ipod nano. I lost a chugging contest and received a $25 gift certificate instead. Pissed? A little. The guy cheated is what makes me most upset. He spilled the beer all over himself. But I did win and that is what makes me really happy. I kicked some Oscar ass this year. Yeah Alan Arkin.

What I want is sex. Ha. I know what I want.

The Day Off

2007-02-23T15:09:00.000-06:00

Wooohooo. Day off. Concert tonight. Jenni and sis. Guster. Me.

Tuesday night. Went out with the Postman. Not having too fun a night. Looking at boys. Avoiding the Asian nurse. I was going to leave when the Postman left around midnight but I ran into a friend who is moving to New York. I wanted to chat with him for awhile before I left. Without the Postman, I was left to fend for myself. No crutch.

I turned around and all of a sudden I'm in the group with the hot guy that I've been looking at all night. I actually started talking to him. We talked about theater and being new to town. He asked if I did musical theatre or dance. Probably the most meaningful conversation of the night. He was very nice. No exchange of numbers but I was brave to actually talk to him.

Then I was talking to my favorite drag queen. This other super hot guy gave me a card for this play that he would be in next month. He just so happened to mention that he would be showing his penis in the play. I will definitely be going to see that. Plus it actually sounds like maybe good theatre. Worth a shot. Teehee.

And because they come in threes. This other guy recognized me from a conversation I had with him months ago about Boys State. He was there with a guy who used to be a counselor. That started a whole other conversation. He was also hot. This is the guy that I followed to Novak's to dance. I was having a great night thus far.

Then I went to the bathroom at Novak's. This guy was talking to someone who was also using the restroom. I was washing my hands. He said that he knew the guy and he also knew me. He knew lots of the gay boys because he was with the right crowds. Even though I had never met him, he knew my name. This was the guy that I danced with on the stage for several songs. We showed everyone what club dancing was. It was hot. It was sexy. It was on stage.

If you are wondering which of the guys I went home with, the answer is none of them. I don't know why I didn't pursue any of them farther. I just let everything be very casual. It was a great night and I didn't ruin it. Who knows what might have happened. I just felt like going home alone. It was such a great night.

As for now, I have to go see Banker and find some food. I'm feeling very Karen Carpenter. I need food. Have a great weekend.

So not in excess

2007-02-20T18:30:00.000-06:00

Why is it that when I want sex so bad I can taste it (ewww) I can't have it? Well I could have it but not with someone that I would want to have it with.

Let me explain. Lets all go back a few weeks to when I got called into the diner instead of going home with a boy. That boy has since been calling me a lot. Like kinda stalkerish a lot. I need to let him down easy. It just shouldn't happen between us. It should not. He is not what I'm looking for and he cannot handle me. He is a super nice guy. Like Superhero nice guy. Picture him with a fluffy bunny and huge biceps. Oh and he's a bald Asian nurse. It just would not work out. He wants a relationship (and has for months) and I just want a fun night. I did that once. It wasn't awkward but it wasn't great. I'm so not into one night stands.

Went out for drinks last night. Her Highness and His Highness got me pretty drunk. It felt great to go out and relax. The night before that Bunny helped me relax with a few drinks. I had a rough weekend without any drinks so I'm trying to make up for it.

I think I almost fell apart this weekend. I finally worked myself too hard. Everything hurt and was just bad. I couldn't handle anything and things just kept building. I survived and looking back, it wasn't really anything bad. I just got exhausted. I did get hit on a lot this weekend though.

That brings up The Man of My Dreams. MoMD came into the diner drunk Saturday night. He sat at the counter and talked to me for quite some time and then I had stuff to do so. He kept talking about this guy from the coffee shop that knew me. He wanted to know what his story was because he thinks that this boy is cute. He wouldn't let it go. It just made me very annoyed. But then when he was leaving, he looked around for me. I know that he looked around for me because he passed me twice when he was searching the entire store. I am not daring enough to do anything about it, but this crush is huge. Then he came into the coffee shop and was being mildly flirtatious again (but I think he was looking for the guy who came in later). Talk about upsetting. Grrrr.

I need to shave and clean and do a million and a half things. I'm gonna go home now. I might go out later. Tempt fate? I don't know. I almost don't want to go out because I'm afraid of who will be out and what I will have to do. I've been ignoring a lot of phone calls recently. Lets see.

Long Story/Short Story

2007-02-16T19:04:00.000-06:00

Short Story--I got pretty wasted last night.
Long Story--It took three bars to do it. We kept going back to the same bar that didn't seem crowded until compared to other bars.

Short Story--I went to a gay strip club.
Long Story--I went in. They told me that they closed at three. I told them I had to go pee. I saw no state of nudity. All in all, I was disappointed.

Shory Story--I slept with The Postman again.
Long Story--We just slept together. We didn't cuddle. There was no dog. Just us in a cold bed. Me in my underwear. Him in his sweatpants and t-shirt.

Oh and let me tell you about how boring Valentine's Day was. I went on this really nice dinner with a girl from my improv troup. She assured me that the other guy that would be there was not there for a set up. He was 52 and started hitting on me about halfway through the meal. And then when we left the restaurant, he farted. I was so disturbed. Then I went for drinks with the Postman. He hit on some weird ugly guy for much of the time that we were there. I sang some kareoke. That was fun. The whole day had a bad feel to it. But whatever. It was Valentine's Day and I was single so what did I expect.

I am looking forward to this weekend even though I don't get to go out at all. It just seems like it is going to be fun and everyone is going to have a good time. I'm looking forward to hearing everyone's crazy Mardi Gras stories. Plus, I'm saving up for St. Pats. Can't wait. Not going to miss the parade this year. Guster is in a week. So excited. I called the radio station ten times today trying to get a VIP pass to have special time with them. Didn't work. Oh well. Still going to the concert. I geuss that is the short and the long story. Happy getting drunk without me weekend.

$1000 day

2007-02-06T15:23:00.000-06:00

Who doesn't think that I can spend $1000 in one day? I bet you are going to be wrong. First off, I paid rent today which was an unnormally high amount of $700. "But how are you going to spend the remaining $300?" you ask. Let me start my story back to last night.

So I get off work at midnight. I have texted several potential people to see if they want to get a drink with me after work. The only one to respond is...Paramedic. Off I go in the incliment weather to South City to a straight bar. We play some darts and get kicked out of the bar. Off we go to the next straight bar. Laughing, joking, and this girl's life story take up most of the night. They had bought a bucket of beer and at a cash only bar, my vodka tonics only lasted so long. I started drinking their beer buckets. Paramedic left early with a kiss on the cheek. I had another beer.

The bad part of the story. I decided to head to the diner to get some food. Very hungry this boy. Right outside the diner, I hit the curb. I had been hitting lots of curbs but this one seemed very rough. The last time I hit a curb like that, I came back to discover a flat tire. And just like that time, I had a flat tire this morning when I woke up. So I get my car to the tire place. I opt for the more expensive tires (by $12) with the bigger warranty. Now I am up to $800. I bought two packs of cigarettes (another $7). That means that when I work at the mall tonight and reward myself with some clothes, I will be up to $900. Because I'm working at the mall, I probably won't go out to dinner with my friend. That saves me money but I do plan on going out tonight. I just need to spend $100 on miscellaneous items. Can I do it? Probably not. I'm too thrifty. I probably will wait until payday Friday to buy clothes, but I am feeling some need for retail therapy.

The need for retail therapy...I found out today that Paramedic has a boyfriend. How long has he had this boyfriend? No clue. From the sounds of myspace, before we hooked up on his birthday. They sound on myspace to be very in love. Oh, I'm not stalking him. He posted a Valentine's Day survey stating how much in love he was. Gross. I won't even get into how that makes me feel. Well ok, it makes me feel gross. I kinda feel betrayed that he didn't tell me himself. I don't really care all that much that he is dating someone.

If five people you know all show up to a random place without planning within ten minutes of each other is that weird? I feel like today is all about coincidences. Everything weird is happening at the right time. My college roomie showed up to Cartel to see if I was here within ten minutes of my arrival. Everything is just kinda fitting today. That seems bizarre. But then again, evidently these few days the world has revolved around me. Revolve please.

Are You Busy?

2007-02-05T19:40:00.000-06:00

The answer to that question when work calls should always be yes. Not kind of. Three am Saturday night. Boy following me home. I have to pull over to tell him that there is a work emergency and I have to go there instead of going home. It will have to wait. Should I have been going home with this boy? Probably not. Did I care at the time? Absolutely not. Grrrr.

Erased

2007-02-01T12:56:00.000-06:00

No sex for the day planner. I don't know how this day planner is working in terms of getting the stuff done. Seriously. I guess I should just write down stuff that I know I will achieve so that I'm not an underachiever. I kinda tried but kinda not really. I mean I was home and in bed by midnight. I was really hoping for a two week run on the sex.

I just got the crap scared out of me by a spider falling from the ceiling. It was so terrifying. I need to go home and get sleep but I am still waiting at work for my last order of the day. I was promised by 1pm. It is now quarter after. Lame. I have to go home and take a nap. I have things that I need to be doing other than sitting in my office getting terrified by spiders.

Last Night of Sanity

2007-01-31T16:36:00.000-06:00

I have one more night until the diner opens. That means that I have one more night of sanity. I have pencilled in to have sex today. As of right now, that does not seem to be possible. I didn't go out last night to make it happen last night. I guess that it isn't that important but still....

Paramedic and I have been playing games. Saturday night, he just kinda flirted with me but didn't do anything. So Monday, I text him to see if he's going out. He was not, but I happened to throw in the fact that I had two days off and nothing to do. He didn't really respond. Then on myspace, he mentioned that I was the last text message received. We were just being flirtatious and I think he knows that I want to do more with him. I don't know if he knows that he has to make the decision.

I just want to have someone love me. It doesn't necessarily have to be Paramedic. It does however have to be someone who understands me. It cannot be Postman even though he does understand me. There is just something about his treatment of me that feels like he wants to get back together.

Obsession--Veronica Mars. Love it can't get enough of it. That show, no matter how ridiculous the premise is always amazing.

What I should have been doing today--laundry, cleaning, shopping for clothing, etc.
What I did today--interview new employee, work on the floor, run to the diner, create some new menu items, fix my laptop (by not fixing it but convincing them to have it fixed), and some other stuff.
I love having a day off. My day off yesterday got me out of the house for one cigarette. Otherwise, I watched tv and made chili. I really didn't do anything other than sleep all day. I probably got 16 hours of sleep. I might have been sick. Who knows. I'm feeling better today.

I guess I'm not exciting. Just doing a recap. Love ya. I'll blog more Friday.

Not a Doctor

2007-01-29T18:02:00.000-06:00

So I am really happy that I ended what was going on with Doctor when I did. It turns out...
1. He is not a doctor.
2. He stole credit card numbers from the people he was staying with.
3. Aren't those two enough. Who knows what else he was lying about.

I am so shocked that this could have happened to me. Do I believe the people that told me? Not entirely. Do I believe him? Not really at all. My life is crazy. I still can't believe all the things that happen to me actually happen. Sometimes I feel like I'm making it all up. Sometimes I wish that I was.

No new news on the Paramedic front. The diner is opening this week which means absolute intensity and fun. I'm super excited. Afterdiner.com for info on the opening. I'll be there working. I have two days off this week. I've pencilled in sex for Wednesday. Cross fingers for me. I don't want to have to erase it.

Second Take

2007-01-25T12:17:00.000-06:00

This post is just to tell you how bad a boy I was last night. I might have accidentally hooked back up with Paramedic.

The story...So we got drunk. We went to the East Side. He drove me back to my car. We kissed goodnight. Then we made out a little for a Happy Birthday present (since I gave him a maxi pad as a gift). Then we made out a lot in his car. Then we started doing a little touchy feely. Then he invited me back to his place. Then I went. It was back to the old times. We laid down on the couch. We made out. We watched tv. He told me I was awfully horny. I asked what was any different. I pulled him to the bed. We took off what little clothes we were wearing still. (Am I venturing on porn here?) And...we cuddled a little afterward. Hah. I so edged you.

The worst part. I was so hungover this morning that I didn't try to find the stuff that I wanted back months ago. I wondered where my phone charger was but didn't try to find it. I did make a comment that he had a really cool ashtray. He said something like "oh yeah an ex gave me that".

It was a very humorous and mysterious hook up. Will it happen again? Who knows. I just can't believe it happened. Am I setting myself up for more heartbreak? Probably. Do I still have feelings for him? A little. Do I need to figure out what is happening? No. I don't need to worry about what happened last night. What happened happened and it means what it means. I just know that I had to give a better present than a maxi pad.

So It Is Hard

2007-01-24T15:50:00.000-06:00

Evidently, the every ex hating the others is very difficult. Last night was extremely awkward for me.

MIKE felt the need to explain that he didn't know what to even say to me in public. I went out to meet Jenni and celebrate Paramedic's birthday. Postman was there as well. Postman and Paramedic would not talk to each other so I had to bounce between the two of them. Postman also made warning that MIKE was there. MIKE walked up to me and gave me a hug. Everything seemed normal with him until he sent me a series of text messages telling me that it was hard to see me in public and that he didn't want to be mean. I don't know what he was getting at and tried to get an explanation but got none.

Paramedic, at one point, told me to pretend to be with him so that this guy would leave him alone. That was very uncomfortable. He wanted to dance with me and be very close to me.

Paramedic and friends went to Novak's after the Zone to continue drinking. One of Paramedic's friends tried to watch me pee. I told him no and that he needed to back off. Then he told me that he was going to kill himself. Crazy.

At Novak's, Abortion boy (I think we need a new name--maybe BiBoy) was there. Everything was fine and flirting was happening until one of Doctor's friends showed up and started hanging out with us. Since Doctor and I did not officially break up, I felt weird to be flirting with someone else in front of him. Oh yeah, Doctor was also at the Zone. He barely talked to me. He did not feel the need to explain anything to me. I did ask him how he was. I just felt it was for show.

I got no where with BiBoy. He did give me a kiss on the cheek goodnight. Everything was just fucked up last night. Everyone except BiBoy left without saying goodbye to me. Postman said goodbye in a text. Paramedic left drunkenly without noticing. MIKE ran away. Doctor got a ride home from his friend. I don't understand why I hang out with all of my exes. I need to make a new song. All my Exes live in St. Louis. I can't even tell you how many boys were there without nicknames that I've had "relations" with. It was a very dry night for a horny hipster hanging out with a whole bunch of boys who have been to Mexico (Highness says I need to explain that Mexico is the name of my penis).

Blow My Mind

2007-01-23T16:49:00.000-06:00

I don't know where I left off because the last few days have been a complete blur. My horoscope was so correct. I just reread it with everything that happened in the last week. It told me I would be appreciated at my job. Turns out that meant a promotion.

I kinda like being able to make decisions. I need to get a planner though because my life is so much crazier than it has ever been. I don't know what is happening when. I know that I'm gonna end up going to the wrong job or something soon. Three jobs. Not enough time to do them. That is why I am spending most of my night tonight blogging and finding new friends on myspace. There will be lots of drinking happening tonight and some more tomorrow because I actually don't have to work tomorrow. I do have to work a crap ton this weekend though. Uggg.

If I ignore Doctor will he go away? I really don't want to talk to him right now. Every time I talk to him he makes me angry. Doctor Pecker has become his nickname. Now he is accusing me via text message that I'm ignoring him. He is the one that said he would call on Monday. He did not call. What am I supposed to do? Call him? I don't think so. He was the one who has pushed me to the side. He is the one who is doing everything wrong. I'm just tired of not being loved. So therefore, I'm ignoring him. So I'm bad. Did anyone not know that?

I have been flirting with lots of different boys. Like lots of them. And its been going pretty well. Last night I came into the coffee shop drunk. When asked by a cute regular where he should put his plate, I told him, "I'll tell you where to put it." I also told not-banker that I was easy today. By not-banker I mean not Banker. On Saturday, boys were watching me dance and flirting with me. One even walked by and grabbed my ass. I was dancing with a hot boy. We'll call him Abortion Boy. He works at Planned Parenthood. He is also "bi". But I know his roommate and think he's hot. He was kissing on my neck and grinding. Like grinding against my penis. Mexico was so enjoying the attention.

By the way, I named my testicles Guatamala and Honduras. I think it is very appropriate. I didn't get a number but he knows where to find me.

Tonight, Paramedic's birthday party and Showtunes with the Postman. MIKE will probably also be there. The whole ex's thing is not working out so well. They all hate each other. Such fun. I wonder if Doctor will show up too. This could be a night for the blog.

Half Birthday Madness

2007-01-18T14:37:00.000-06:00

Hmmm. I might have screwed myself in the pooch when it comes to Doctor. We dated for awhile. He pissed me off. I gave him money. He disappeared. Now he's back. I don't understand. All I know is that he isn't treating me very well. He was very sweet for a while but now just kind of takes me for granted. I don't think I can put up with that.

I am not moving. After spending a week or so looking at not so ideal apartments around the city, I got an offer to just stay in my current apartment. Her Highness will be moving in sometime in February to make us an inseparable pair. I am so thankful that I don't have to move all of my stuff around. I will now be dedicated to making it better than ever since I'll be living there for another year. I think that I will paint a wall of my bedroom and try to find some furniture. I do know that this means rocking party sometime very soon. I need to plan and invite and get a great theme. But I cannot overthink this. It must be very biz-cas. Maybe sexy office party should be the theme. Can I get a copy machine for the closet though is the question? That sounds hot.

The reason for the business-casual theme...I got promoted. Her Highness and I are now leading the management team at the coffee shop (proper title? I don't know). I just know that this means kinda cool in my book. I am terrified to be in charge (as always) but I'm excited to make some changes.

Fuck. I need to go put money in the meter. Happy Update. I better get some good half-presents from ya'll. See ya.

Dating?

2007-01-08T15:55:00.000-06:00

When asked are you interested in dating, what do you say? Do you say, "I thought we were already 'dating'"? Do you say, "we'll see what happens when you come back from your month away from me"? I'm slightly at a crossroads. I don't want to screw things up, but I also don't want to wait around for a month. But he is a doctor and kinda worth waiting around for. Who knows. I'm just so free right now that I kinda like it.

I have to find a place to live and even possibly a roommate. I have to do that this week. And I have no time off this week. The new year has been everything and crazy.

Uggh for life but wonderful.

10,000 Maniacs

2007-01-05T14:35:00.000-06:00

So I hit the 10,000 mark for hits. Finally. It has taken you guys long enough. Love ya.

The Doctor. Oh yeah he's turning into something blog worthy. He wants to spend the night. Last night, he texted me and called me a "hot vanilla latte". I didn't respond with you're hot "spicy mocha". I didn't think it was appropriate. Can I make those jokes if he does? His friend is really starting to intrude upon the relationship though. He is annoying beyond belief. I think he also might be cock-blocking me. But I will get through that. The Doctor thinks I'm hot and I think he's hot. Plus, he is intelligent, friendly, mature, and wonderful to talk to. Did I mention he was hot. Like really hot.

Doctor and I are hanging out alone tonight and then he might be staying over at my place. I'm nervous. Wicked nervous. I need to shave. I'm getting a haircut. I need to lose five pounds in the next ten minutes because I'm so nervous that he is so much hotter than I am. Oh lord, I need a drink. I'll update later on the results of the evening. Anyone else nervous for me?

Talk about Crazy

2007-01-02T13:42:00.000-06:00

Yes. I'm talking about myself. I'm running on very little sleep since New Years. It has been a crazy two or three days (not sure on account of the mixed up sleep system).

To start, I met Doctor. This may or may not turn into something that is blog-worthy. He is super hot and a doctor. This completes my Karen from Will and Grace lifestyle. I have Banker, Paramedic, Postman. Now I just need Doctor. I'm sure I have others. Like Boss and Bunny (I know Bunny isn't a formal job but she does it well). Doctor asked me for my number when I was leaving Complex. He is new to town and definitely not familiar with the St. Louis field. I feel special. I think it was part of my gaining back control over my dating life. He has already called me but we have not set up a time for a date or other activities. Did I mention he was a cheerleader in college and is uber-hot. My horoscope said I would find true love this year. But I'm also shopping around for this true love. I'm not going to go from serious relationship to serious relationship.

Since I mention Postman, I might as well update you. We went party hopping for New Years. First we went to a drag queen's house for gay church party. They were all church going gays. It was a nice party but definitely not my scene.

So we went to Karl's party and had a good time. Karl, if I haven't told you that you have awesome friends before I am now. I probably should have stayed at that party but there were so many more people to see. I had a Manhattan for the first time.

The next event was Complex. I was standing in the middle of the dance floor right under the balloons when midnight struck. What I did not know was that there was money in the balloons and that every greedy fag in the city knew that. They all started diving and popping the balloons instead of magically letting them fall over my head. I, of course, start screaming because it was not magical as I had imagined. I'm also bitter because I didn't get a single balloon. I got some free champagne which wasn't bad and I had two.

Immediately upon leaving the dance floor, I started getting attacked by mouths. First, old ex whose nickname I don't remember and then Paramedic. Postman saw Paramdic kiss me and then told me he could do better and started making out with me. Now, I know you are thinking this is bad. And it is. But I really don't think that it meant anything. I hope it doesn't mean anything. So I go and I dance with Doctor for a bit.

I get a lot drunker. Postman tells me that he needs to leave. As we are leaving, he says that he is feeling a little drunk but not too drunk (mothers in the crowd go along with the story and don't judge the fact that I am letting a drunk man drive me). He then realizes that he is supposed to drive me back to my apartment and then back to his. The Complex is about ten blocks from his house on back roads. So I don't remember who suggested that I just stay at his house for the night and he will take me back to my apartment in the morning. Long story short, I got more intimate with his beagle. I woke up at some time during the night and I was spooning him (actually I was in the middle of a spoon with Postman and his dog). But nothing happened.

And I saw Dreamgirls. Oh my god do I understand what everyone is talking about. That movie is amazing. I loved it.

You want more? It will surely come. This is just the beginning of the year. Good god I say.

Yeah that's me

2006-12-30T19:12:00.000-06:00

Found on Craig's List.

"You're the cute guy with the big brown eyes that works at [the coffee shop].
You frequently wear headbands, and you've got a show-stopping smile that has stopped me in my tracks more than once.
I'd really like to talk with you sometime if you see this."

Sweet. I have no idea who this is mind you. Am I going to respond? Definitely not. Am I flattered? Maybe.

Anyway, last night was night of the living exes again. Five of them. I thought six but for the life of me can't come up with the last one. I saw MIKE (that was uncomfortable). He was dancing with an unattractive man. I went with Postman (bad idea but I had fun). Kempf came out to dance a lot. I had a blast with her. Mind you I know she reads my blog. But I had a great time hanging out with her this week. I miss you Kempf. I want you near me all the time. I want you as my wingman. Not Spicy Wing Man or whatever that stupid commercial is.

Going out last night was a semi-bad idea. I only got about three hours of sleep. My entire sleep schedule is off. Things are crazy everywhere. I'm going out again tonight though. Looking forward to it. I have so much to do in every area of my life and still just want to go out. I'm a bad boy on the prowl. No one seems to be hitting on me though. I've been trying to lose the five pounds that I put on since MIKE and I started to date. Gotta lose that relationship weight. Single boys can't look like I do. I thought I looked pretty hot last night but no one seemed to notice except girls. Maybe I was putting out a straight vibe which is hard considering the amount of gay I felt I was exuding.

What is my deal? I'm not in control. I need to be in control again. I need a day off bad. I need a haircut because everyone says my hair is perfect right now (except one person who is pissing me off). When everyone says my hair is perfect that means in one week it will be too long. This is a proven theory. I should probably stop smoking and go back to finish off my sixteen hour day. Awesome.

Love ya.

Merry Churtina

2006-12-27T17:03:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling so much better. The feeling better came when I woke up yesterday in the afternoon and went to go have my first smoke. At the bottom of the stairs, I had a present waiting from my mother. First off, it looked like it was addressed to Shine and it wished me a "Merry Churtina". The first part may be attributed to bad handwriting, but the second part the "tina" part is definitely not even close to "mas". My friends think that this is a subliminal message from my mother.

Well anyway, when I got inside the package, I immediately cracked up. She sent me car chimes (which I was not familiar with).

This is similar to mine except mine is a wizard. I know you are thinking "that's HOT". Anyway, this was the best Christmas or Churtina present I've ever received. This is the only thing that I've received from my parents by the way of Christmas so far. I think that it could be worse but those things will have to wait until they visit mid-January.

My mother gives the worst gifts possible. This reminds me of the year that I got a four-foot tall talking Goofy doll. It spoke and was huge and I was 15 or so years old. My brother had warned me ahead of time that I needed to be very excited when I opened up the big present. It had been very expensive and she was very proud of herself. To this day, I still have to talk about it as the best Christmas present ever. This is where honesty and my mother completely split. I think she was sad that I didn't take him to college with me. I think she has asked me several times moving around the state if she should bring him along to move in with me. Each time I've had to say, "I would love to have him here with me, but he is just so big that I don't have the space."

So in order to make myself feel even better after receiving such a great present, I drank...a lot. I was having drinks with my boss and Jim when my friends called to tell me that they were all going out and that I should go with them. These are college friends who I have not seen forever. While having drinks with these friends, other college friends called to tell me that they were hanging out with two of the people that were already at the bar. The funny thing is that they had no idea they were hanging out. So everyone ended up going to this bar in the Loop and having a crazy time. I got wicked wicked drunk and ended up having to end the night early because I was soooo not feeling well. I might have gotten a little sick. I say might have when I mean I did.

Tonight-more fun.

So I Guess

2006-12-24T20:51:00.000-06:00

I miss my family. This is a really sad Christmas without them. I know that I'm going to be with my second family tomorrow, but right now I really just want to be with mine. I called them and they all sounded like they were having a great time drinking and having fun. I would love to be drunk right now, but I have to be back to work at 2 in the morning. I have all day Tuesday off thought so I think I will drink like its Christmas Eve then.

I am super excited about all of my friends in town for the holidays. I still haven't seen most of them yet, but I will do whatever is needed to see them. I need my friends right now. I cannot hang out with my ex's because it is starting to unroll me. I got to hang out with the Postman and the Paramedic last night. Being lonely is not helping that situation. I almost feel like I've run out of boys to date in St. Louis. That sounds terrible but I've lost the fresh face of St. Louis and I know that I don't want to date many of the boys that I already know. I need someone new. I guess I will just have to wait until Jake Shears comes to town (did I mention I'm going to go see Scissor Sisters?).

I guess this is kind of a sad post, sorry. I'm gonna go home and take a nap before work. Hopefully I wake up in a better Christmasy type mood.

Well the crazy begins

2006-12-22T15:56:00.000-06:00

So I guess my crazy single life has begun again. I forgot how crazy it was to get out of a relationship. After hearing how he didn't want to see me or talk to me for awhile, he texts me the day after we break up. He says that he wants to hear my voice. All of this is happening while I am hanging out with the Paramedic. Paramedic tells me to grow some balls. I call boyfriend anyway after I leave. Paramedic also tells me the moment that he knew that he couldn't love me. That was a nice thing to hear.

In other news. I need a vacation. Anyone have any ideas on a cheap vacation outside the St. Louis city limits that is not my home? Anyone?

Also, if you have been waiting to set me up with anyone, now is your chance. I am looking to go on a few dates with potential bachelors. Love ya.

Another One

2006-12-21T11:37:00.000-06:00

Bites the dust. Wow it has been so long since I've posted. Sorry. My life has been quite chaotic. I've been working 16 hour days with very little time off. Aaaagh! Christmas.

So the story of the post. Boyfriend is now ex-boyfriend. As of last night. How do I tell you that I deserved it. Because I did. It was my fault and I was an ass. Evidently, I am a terrible person on top of it all. I thought this was a little far-fetched. But whatever. I tried to apologize and salvage the relationship. He wasn't really interested in another chance right now. It was quite a calm conversation where I spent a lot of time staring at my shoes. It was quite difficult for me to actually probably deserve what I got. Most of the time I definitely don't deserve it. This time I did.

So what happened? I had told boyfriend that I was going to a party that Paramedic would be at. He got super jealous and quite cranky because of this. I told him because I didn't want to lie to him, but I did tell him that we would go out after the party. I got wicked drunk and ended up losing track of time. Way losing track of time. Like an hour or more. I also lost my ride and he decided to come pick me up. I should have been more supportive of his needs at that time becuase he just found out that his grandmother was sick. I'm an ass. A huge ass.

But...in case you were starting to hate me, he was being super controlling which was pissing me off. So, I ruined a really good relationship right before Christmas. This makes the (every year of my life) year that I have been single for Christmas. Boo.

I did not cheat on boyfriend. Not at all. Not even a little. I was a good boy. The doting boyfriend. Escept this one time. I screwed up. Big time.

Sick

2006-12-11T19:26:00.000-06:00

I'm sick and my head is floating because boyfriend gave me Mucinex. Gross. I hate colds.

My laptop is also sick but it might be dead. Like it just pops up with the little white blip in the top corner of the screen. Everytime I watch the Mac commercial, I feel like the nerdy guy is my computer and all I want is Justin Long. Mmmmm Justin Long. Hot. I want a new laptop. I think Wednesday is going to be my call HP and bitch them out day. Woohoo.

I wish I had more but I guess I don't because my head is floating. Like out of body experience. But I did cry during the Amazing Race finale even though I have no idea who any of the teams were. It was sad.

Wasted

2006-12-08T18:13:00.000-06:00

So it turns out that I got wicked wasted at the Christmas Party. Like I don't remember going to MIKE's apartment and I don't remember passing out on his bathroom floor. Sounds like a good night. I had fun and haven't had a drink since that night. Not that I'm swearing off booze. I'm just taking a breather. This will end tomorrow when my 56 hour (with 8 hours off to sleep) of straight work ends.

What I do know would make my mother blush. I yelled something about having a threesome and then when someone interjected, I invited them into a foursome. All the while, my boyfriend stared at his drink and looked embarrassed. I won $100 in trivia and then spent it all at SubZero. I think I might have saved $1 from the bar. I took a shot and had one drink but don't know where the rest of the money went. Some of it went towards boyfriend's drinks.

And now the pictures.

Drunk, Drunker, Drunkest are my names for the pictures.

Not so Cranky

2006-12-04T15:39:00.000-06:00

Yay. I'm not cranky today. I also spent a lot more time in bed than I was supposed to. Which means that I did not get the chance to upload photos from Thanksgiving. And the photographer from my grandparents anniversary won't let me just post a picture here. Damn technology this week. I suck.

Anyway. I have to go party. See ya later.

Blizzard '06

2006-12-03T19:57:00.000-06:00

For those that don't know, St. Louis is covered in a thick layer of ice. The entire city. Still. Fun.

What is really fun about all the snow and ice is not driving around in it. It is the game I get to play with my door each time that I try to open or close it. Not only does it freeze closed but then it decides to freeze open as well. Super awesome.

So half of the mall lost power on one of my two sixteen hour days. Do you think it was the half that I worked on so that I could go home and take a nap before working at the place that never closes. NOOO. While everyone else got to enjoy some nice days off because they couldn't get out of their house or couldn't drive, I got to work a lot.

Did I mention that I'm super cranky? Super cranky. Like whole body sore (not from happy things) pissed off type of cranky.

I still have to blog about Thanksgiving and post some pictures of the snow storm but that will wait til tomorrow. I have to go home and clean and make boyfriend not clean. He will keep me company.

Biggest Secret

2006-11-21T16:24:00.000-06:00

I recently found out the biggest secret ever held from me. My roommate/best Jenni told me drunk that she had something to tell me.

And now the back story. My sophomore year at college, I was taking a shower with my door unlocked. I typically did this when I had my music up loud which signified my being naked. I was drying myself off/checking myself out when I looked up and noticed a shadow in my darkened dorm room. Someone was in there and someone had seen me naked. I quickly covered up and then decided that I should chase this person. Wearing only a towel, I go running out into the hall. I run into a few people who laugh and deny being the one to see me naked.

Jenni lived down the hall from me that year. That was how we became such good friends. So Sunday night, Jenni drank a good portion of a jug of strawberry margaritas and revealed that she knew who had seen me naked. Yes, it was my very own roommate. She was so embarrassed that she ran down the stairs and hid from me so that it seemed not to be her. I never even thought that it could have been her.

She has hidden this secret from me for four years now. She told a lot of our friends but did not tell me. I guess when I saw her naked last week it was just karma coming around. Oh penises and vaginas.

2006-11-17T19:28:00.000-06:00

Moby featuring Debbie Harry - New York New York

I love the song but more so I love the video and felt like sharing. Look very closely at the guy towards the end wearing the gold sparkle speedo type thing.

No, its not me but isn't it hot.

Jealous Lover

2006-11-17T15:42:00.000-06:00

Dear Abby,

I don't find it all that bad to finally find someone who gets jealous of other boys hitting on me. In fact, Stalker and MIKE just had words over myspace that were quite amusing. Stalker was beginning to get really creepy (plus I kinda didn't really like him in the first place, I was just being nice to a customer). I'm sure this will all blow over the longer we date, but really I want to calm his nerves and tell him that he does not need to be jealous and that I'm affectionate with my friends.

The reason that I say this is because MIKE still really really hates the Postman. Like wants to punch him any time he touches me (appropriate touch). He tells me this so I know that it is true. But a friend of a friend just told me that when he was talking to me, he grabbed me and made sure to announce (without words) that I was his. I again don't think this is too much of a problem.

Should I be concerned,
Hipster Vodka Tonic

Rear Sway Bar

2006-11-16T19:54:00.000-06:00

Nope not gay bar. Sway bar. And mine is broken. I also found out that my window is pretty much broken. I got a good talking to by an old man with no teeth while I got my oil changed. I couldn't understand a single word he said.

I have a new character in my life. Aunt Urethra. She gets locked in the attic. I really can't tell the story without acting it out. I wish that I could. The Improv thing is going very well by the way.

Very eventful day but everything is very much you had to be there. The old man was quite creepy. The entire day has kind of seemed hazy. I'm in a November haze not looking forward to going home for Thanksgiving. Wish me luck.

Oh My Head Hurts

2006-11-13T10:48:00.000-06:00

Just thinking about this weekend kinda makes my head hurt.

Lets start with "I love you". MIKE goes from saying "I think I'm falling in love with you" to "I love you" in a matter of days. This is me not freaked out. But also, this is me afraid to say it back. We all remember what happened the last time I said it. I really wanted to say it last night but could not muster up the courage. I think at this point, me not saying it is more harmful than saying it. I am confused and I hate Paramedic for fucking me up. (No updates on Paramedic--still don't have my stuff back).

So in other ex news...The Postman is not well received with MIKE. MIKE in fact has expressed his distaste for Postman. I, in turn, told Postman that he has to treat me nicer in front of MIKE (but really just all around needs to treat me better) if he wants to remain friends. I told him this drunk on Saturday night. I took my migraine meds (do not take with alcohol) and then went drinking. Then Sunday, I get a mySpace message from Postman which makes me think that possibly he is not over me. He said, "You and [MIKE] are a beatutiful thing, and i'm thankful everytime i see you two becuae i know that i couldn't have given you that." Interesting. Two woots for drama. He also went on to threaten the man that ever upsets me or hurts me. So I think I need to get some distance from Postman for a while.

MIKE and I went to go rent a movie last night. Instead of renting a movie, we spent a combined $100 on previously viewed movies. I got ten movies including Liza with a Z. So last night, we stayed in and cuddled on the couch to watch Corpse Bride and The Squid and the Whale. Both movies are slightly fucked up. This was the point that I almost said the "I love you" back. Then we went to sleep (yes actual sleep because I had to be up very early this morning). I had some wicked weird dreams that involved hunting, art, performing in a musical, and the county fair with my parents. Fucked up dream that I remember most of. Boyfriend however has been having nightmares which scares me.

Did I tell you about the night that MIKE woke me up because I was cleaning water off of his floor? Evidently I was sleep-cleaning. I had dreamt that I spilled several bottles of water on the floor. I was busy cleaning it up by leaning over the bed. He asked me several questions to which I responded very coherently until he told me that there was no water. I woke up and felt very embarrassed. He thought it was funny.

So I guess that is my life of boys in a nutshell. But Thanksgiving is going to be great. My mother is already freaking out about me coming home and I am still worried that I am going to get fired from the makeup store. They have cut my hours so much that I barely feel like I'm working two jobs.

Last One to Know

2006-11-11T19:02:00.000-06:00

Very important. Am I the last person to know about Brit Brit and K. Fed filing for divorce. I swear. A very nice mid-years woman came in tonight and a Britney song was playing. I exclaimed how much I liked Britney Spears and she said wasn't it good news that she filed for divorce. I exploded. I had no idea. And then another mid-age woman came in and I told her and she already knew. How did I fall so far outside the loop?

Claire, MIKE, The Paramedic, etc.

2006-11-04T14:13:00.000-06:00

Long time no see. This is also the third beginning to the post that I've had to do. I'm kinda losing steam and I never had the attention. I do have the time however so we'll see what happens.

Claire McCaskill came to the coffee shop this morning. I got dragged out of bed to meet and greet with a politician. Very little sleep and a lot of caffeine. I got many photos taken of me in a state of shock. Normally, I am very photogenic but they really just surprised me. I guess I won't be ready for paparazzi for awhile. Half of the pictures will definitely not published except for maybe cropping me out. We'll see what media outlets I get on. I helped Claire ring up a customer and she just kinda stood there with money in her hand for a second. I was not very good with helping her. Steph helped her make a latte. Afterwards, Claire commented that if she loses the election she will need to get a lot faster at drink making. Steph had a million photos taken of her. For the sake of Claire and all coffee lovers, I hope that Claire does win the election. For the non-Missouri and non-political folks out there, Claire McCaskill is the Democratic candidate for the Senate from Missouri. Good luck Claire.

Mike (the boif) was super understanding when I had to interrupt drinks to go fix the espresso machine last night. He even came to wait for me while I was getting wet from water spraying all over me. I got the boif a present already. Cologne. He loves it. I think I'm a great boyfriend.

Paramedic. Saw him this morning. Barely acknowledged him. Still pissed off. Now for the story. So at Showtunes at the Loading Zone, I was standing as close to MIKE as humanly possible. The bar was wicked crowded and we were all smashed in. As we are waiting for drinks, Paramedic walks by. My face and my mood immediately turn sour. I spend most of the night avoiding him even when he sat down on the couch right behind me.

It wasn't until his friend Christy came in that it became a problem. I enjoy this girl and have missed talking to her. I did not want to punish his friends for his being an asshole. So I run over to talk to her. She of course asks me how I'm doing. In the middle of talking to her, I get a text message asking me, "Can we talk or are we going to remain bitter?" I ask Christy if Paramedic changed his phone number. I ask her if I can remain bitter. She says that I can do whatever I want but he has wanted to talk to me. I talk to my friends and MIKE and inform them that we will be leaving in five minutes that I have to talk to him.

I walk up to him with bitch out. "So what do you have to say?" He rambles on about how those three little words scare him. Blah blah. Whatever. I tell him that he made me feel terrible and like he forced me to say them. Then I ask him if I can get my cell phone charger back. I finally did that. At some point, I told him that I heard what he did the night that he broke up with me. He said that he heard that rumor too. If he at all cared about me or if it wasn't true, I think that I would have called a long time ago to tell me that was not true. Rather than allow me to think for a month or so that was the case. I don't believe him of course. I think that I would at least have the courtesy to tell the truth. I was so pissed off. I said that my friends were ready to go and that I was leaving. While getting ready for bed with MIKE, I get another text saying "I'm at Freddie's if you want to talk". So pissed.

So now you have the rest of the story.

Funny quote of the day..."I'm suprised you don't have ghonna-herpa-syphilitis of the mouth (in reference to your very own Hipster)." Thank you Shannon.

Apology

2006-10-31T00:23:00.000-06:00

Apparently, I have over stepped my readership boundaries. For girls who happen to be my bestest roommate's sister, I apologize. For the rest of you, do you know me? Hi, I'm a Hipster filled with vodka tonic. I don't believe this is the first post that I have made of my sex life. I have created quite a stir amongst my co-workers who read my blog. Oh and I'm not really being serious. I don't apologize for anything.

The paramedic story will probably have to wait for tomorrow when I have more time. Tonight I'm going to have a drink with MIKE (Man I Kinda Enjoy). Things are going well. I need to get my car fixed still. Super strength glue did not really do the trick. I guess I can do a kind of update thing for those that have gotten out of the loop. Wife needs to get updated on the life and doesn't have time to read regularly. I think my regular readers are no longer reading regularly. I do have some new ones though and that is nice. I appreciate all the feedback I've been getting. It feels nice to be loved. Gotta go. Love ya.

Toe Curling

2006-10-28T00:47:00.000-05:00

I had a paralyzed from the waist down, toe curling orgasm the other night. Anyone jealous? It was one of those don't touch me again for ten minutes type thing. I found the exact need for a cigarette. I think it was my first time with such an experience.

In the same note, Paramedic so wants me back. It was ridiculous. He texts me with "so are we going to remain bitter or can we talk?" I really just wanted to remain bitter. I'll explain more later. I'm heading to a sleep over. No one else is invited.

This is INSANE

2006-10-24T18:18:00.000-05:00

This might be a long post. A long post for a long weekend.

I took off my clothes. I had never gone full monty before. I was hanging from the pipes in the basement of the frat house completely naked except a hat. Mind you, I was drunk but not drunk enough to blame alcohol.

I pledged the fraternity. It was fun. You may be thinking, "How could you pledge a fraternity in Connecticut when you are in Missouri and not even a student?" I don't really know. You will have to ask them. It was just really fun.

The weekend was just really fun. I got to hang out with fun people. Spend a lot of time wearing very little clothing. I was very well behaved. I only made out with a girl. I did see several penises, but it was kind of tit for tat. I got hit on...a lot. Like a lot a lot. A couple of times it was really creepy.

Fun story...I was getting into the couch Friday after stripping and getting wicked drunk. Jim was all quiet moving stuff off of the couches so we could sleep. Everything was quiet because three girls were sleeping on the bed. I tiptoe across the room to crawl into my couch. I get on the couch and immediately get thrown off. The cushions were not centered. I knock stuff off the coffee table and scream. All three girls sit straight up in bed and are completely frightened. It was hysterical. Trust me.

I was a fashion expert this weekend. Girls were asking me all sorts of questions about makeup and stuff. Good thing I brought my kit stocked up with hair and makeup supplies. It was great.

The kids there are all so great. I think that is the main reason why I pledged. Even though I am so far away, I feel such a strong connection with them. Maybe it is just me missing college or maybe I just really like the feeling they give me. It feels nice.

And now on to the INSANE portion of the story. I got back to St. Louis at 7 am, Monday morning. I drove all night. I spent $15-20 on energy drinks/coffee. I kept contemplating the idea of staying in a hotel. I made myself sick from too much caffeine/sugar. I just kept driving. It was painful to push myself that hard. I kept stopping to stretch and wake up. I never felt like I was falling asleep at the wheel though. I would have stopped if that was the case. I just kept singing and trying to call people to energize me. I will never do that to myself again.

I don't really know what else to say. I had a good time. Vacation is great. I should definitely do it more often. Things with the boy are good. Maybe even really good. I won't say wonderful or fantastic or anything like that. But good. Life is kinda good right now. Halloween is coming up. I'm so not ready.

Full Monty

2006-10-21T16:58:00.000-05:00

Short story. Made a dollar from stripping last night. Everything off. Its all fun and games until my mom finds the URL. Love ya. I'll be posting again soon. Time for dinner and more cocktails.

Connectict and Getting Back to Me

2006-10-20T13:41:00.000-05:00

So, I made the long as hell drive to Connecticut. Jim spared me from driving after I made it to Pittsburg. I got to go to a queer theory class. Time to back to grad school. I completely enjoyed sitting in on a class that I had not done the reading for and just listening to the intelligent conversation. But I did not like Pittsburg that much. Kind of a weird city with bad streets.

I drove alone for several hours in my broken car. It really wasn't that bad though because the window will mostly roll up. I spent most of the time smoking and talking to MIKE anyway. I did get some major singing happening. If I hear Panic! at the Disco one more time though I think I might have to scream. There are few radio stations along the route and they all seem to really like that song. I tried to find other stations but always ended up having to come back to that song. Grrr.

Jim and I picked up a girl that knew a friend of a friend. She needed to be dropped off in New York City. So at 1 am, we are venturing into the giant metropolis and I enjoyed/hated it. Even that late at night, the traffic is still enough to give me a migraine. I thought I was going to squeeze the life out of the stress ball I found in the car. People are maniacs in the city when it comes to going places. I will so not ever drive there. I might have also just been running low on nicotine by the time this happened.

I am so on vacation. The makeup store called and asked if I was able to come in last night. Sorry, I'm in Pennsylvania. That felt so great to say. I am also going to be soooo broke when I get back.

Showtunes on Tuesday really racked up in alcohol. I had the largest tab ever. Mind you, I was buying drinks for MIKE and Jenni and Kelli, so I guess that my personal consumption (although up) was not the only reason.

About Tuesday. MIKE took me out to dinner at Moxy. Amazing food. High prices. He paid. I enjoyed. But about half way through the meal (right between lobster pot stickers and tuna), MIKE brought up the fact that he might have said that he was going out with his boyfriend. His "boyfriend". We had discussed the fact that we were dating, but not the whole boyfriend status. I told him that this was not pre-entree talk. In a very joking matter of course. But, long story short, we are officially boyfriends and he misses me very much while I am in Connecticut. Things are going well back home. Lets see how things go in Connecticut.

Time for lunch. Yeah its late but I'm hungry. Food needs to happen.

Point Made

2006-10-16T22:10:00.000-05:00

To further demonstrate my rockstar status...

Not one but two guys came in tonight and flirted with me that saw me dancing at Novak's. One made mention of my dancing. The other I recognized. Hot (not him, me)!

Anyway. Monday is better even though it rained all day. I'm having fun at work cleaning everything in sight. I can't wait to go back to my rain soaked car. Yippee!

That's it. A short Monday post.

Should have stayed in bed

2006-10-16T00:34:00.000-05:00

Not my bed. But bed nonetheless.

So last night, I went out like a rockstar. I was dancing on stage all night. Getting drinks bought for me. Getting called nicknames by the bartenders. You know. Rockstar. I kinda decided that I might be an awesome dancer.

Then I went back to MIKE's apartment to sleep. We left my car because I was, as he put it, "wiggidy wasted". We passed out without much fanfare (which was ok because I was exhausted).

This morning, neither of us wanted to get out of bed. We just kept cuddling and rolling around. Finally, we get out to his car. He can't find his cell phone. We freak out for a minute and then he goes back inside to find it stuffed in the pocket of his coat.

Drive back to my car. Visibly from a distance, something is wrong. My window is popped out of the track and is mostly open. Looking in, my stuff has been riffled through but all in all everything is there. They took maybe a handful of change. I need to make sure that they didn't get ahold of an old bank statement or something. Everything seemed fine. They left my shoes, a comforter, and my precious irreplaceable sunglasses.

Work sucked big time tonight. Bitchy customers. I almost went Office Space on a couple of the machines. I can't believe how finicky some of the machines are. I was pissed. The only thing that got me through the shift was my co-worker taking most of the customer interaction and text messages from friends.

So what this means is that I have to get my window fixed before I can go to Connecticut. I don't know how much this will cost, but now I feel a lot more vulnerable. I feel unsafe.

Things are going very well with this boy. He knows what I need to do and he is jealous of my ex's. I think its precious. MIKE wants me around as much as possible but knows that I'm super busy. I think I will miss him while I'm away.

Super excited about getting away from St. Louis. I need some time away from this city. Kempf might come up to visit (which is awesome). I had a rough day but a pretty awesome week. I just hope that Sunday wasn't the beginning of a bad week. Hopefully it was just an off day. Time to go home and fix my car by taping a trash bag over the crack so that it doesn't rain in. Ghetto anyone?

Rebound and Hook Shots

2006-10-10T18:12:00.000-05:00

Time to blog about the stuff that has been going on in my life. I've been too busy to blog but now I am avoiding sleep by blogging. Exciting right?

First up, the trip to Kirksville. I had a blast being back in the old college town. Seeing The Heidi Chronicles was great. The actors and the crew did a great job with the show. It was quite how I imagined it to be produced. I give it a good review. I slept with Amber after showtunes when I got really drunk. It was fun to hang out with old and new theatre kids. They still know how to party even without me. I wish that I could have spent more time there. I didn't get to see everyone that I needed to and didn't get to spend enough time with certain people (Jenorama, I am sorry). I know now that it is time to go back to school.

Anyway, now on to the boy stories. Rebounding. Boo. I might have accidentally taken someone home that I really shouldn't have. Someone who has had a crush on me for quite some time and I could never imagine dating. Guess being horny and drunk are a bad combo for a Saturday night. But not this Saturday.

This Saturday, I was horny and drunk and went home with the boy that I have been spending a lot of time with. We made out before Paramedic and I broke up (kinda an accident but also not really because we were on the rocks). This boy we will call Man I Kinda Like or MIKE for short (you might think that this is his actual name, but you are wrong). MIKE is a lighting designer. MIKE and I went out on Saturday night and I was too drunk to drive and so he offered to let me sleep over at his house. Well, you know what that means to me (I guess he also caught on to the fact that I like sex-related activities). It was so great to sleep and wake up next to someone. He is really nice. Not like an asshole who is sometimes nice. Like I treat him nicely and he does the same. This is mostly what I am looking for these days. Plus, he was definitely comfortable walking around naked (I certainly enjoyed this).

Just so that you aren't thinking that this is another one of those things that I do, we are going on a date tomorrow night. I am taking him to see a performance and then we will have dinner. It is going to be fantastic. We decided that we should actually go on a date since we only ever saw each other when we were drunk or getting there.

You are wondering then, "Why is he only the Man I Kinda Like?" There is a complication. Our mutual friend does not want us to date. She is the one who introduced us and now she does not want her friends to date each other because she is afraid that she will lose both of us as friends. I have no worries about this because I want it to work and not result in us not liking each other. We just have to be cautious about what we do and say around her. She is not going to hold me back. I do think of her as being quite a good friend even though I do not know her last name. We get along and we have fun. But, I am more interested in finding a good boy. If we realize that it doesn't work, we started as friends and not as lovers. I think that makes everything better in the end.

Otherwise, I got offered a very vague version of more responsibility at the makeup store for the holidays. I have a lot of thinking to do about what I am going to do. I am enjoying both of my jobs. I enjoy my life right now even though I am working myself to death. I am working every day of the week and sometimes twice a day. It is not healthy but I am saving money. I don't know how long I can keep this up though. If I can make it through the first of the year, that would be amazing. I do get to go on vacation. Connecticut here I come again. Super excited. I really do need t start planning my future or at least looking at my goals again. I have to remember that I can't get everything right now though.

Well that was quite a blog. Did everyone make it through ok? Oh yeah. One more thing for those that read all the way. I walked wearing no underwear only jeans to my car last night and felt super sexy. I wanted someone to make cat calls. I feel sexy. Love ya.

Digital Camera

2006-10-06T19:21:00.000-05:00

I think I need one. How much should I spend? Which one should I get? Overstock.com? I would be able to spend about $200. Should I do it?

Oh Boys

2006-10-03T18:58:00.000-05:00

Right now, I am sitting at Java Co thinking I should have some coffee. I definitely think I should have some coffee. I hate paying for it though. Grrr.

Ok, now I'm better. Iced coffee with banana and chocolate flavor. Mmmmm.

So anyway. I am in Kirksville to see a play. Emmie came up with me to suffer in the lack of air conditioning that my car has provided. We sweated through an entire set of clothing. I am on an adventure. Fun Fun. Kareoke tonight after seeing the play. Amber's birthday. Being back is great. I miss Kville.

Anyway, this weekend was bad. I survived work, but maybe made some bad choices in terms of boys. I might have accidentally taken home a friend who I am not interested in. Oops. That might be bad. But it did get me completely over the Paramedic. Completely. I should have gone to Novak's to see the boy that I actually wanted to take home, but instead I got a little drunk at Complex. Just bad because I knew he had a crush on me and I so do not have those feelings.

The coffee shop did not fall apart under my guidance. I was terrified all weekend that it would explode or catch on fire. So, because of all the stress, I decided to get a haircut. I know. You all are dying to see it, but you can't. Cuz I don't have a camera. Boo. Maybe Christmas.

Happy Endings is a great movie with Maggie Gyllenhaal and Lisa Kudrow with lots of cute boys and a very interesting plot. Jenni and I had a movie night last night with Chinese food and Smirnoff ice. It was such a nice night off. I stayed in for the first time in forever.

Speaking of staying in. My roommate forgot to sign the check for Ameren, so they are threatening to disconnect our electricity. Oh how I am going to miss her. She has started moving out. I will miss her mess and her having gross boys over. I will miss her irresponsibility towards money and life. But most of all, I will miss the respect that she has for Jenni and I. That I will miss most of all.

Anyway, time to go see a play and enjoy my time in Kville. Screw blogging. I need to have stuff to blog about. Love ya.

Sweet Baby Cakes

2006-09-27T17:26:00.000-05:00

I don't think I am ever going to recover from this week.

I am here being assistant manager at the coffee shop on my day off. I have been here for three hours. I will be back at 8am after going out tonight. Very fun.

The wedding was absolutely wonderful. I got to hang out with a lot of very very special people to me. People who made me realize that I need to be doing something with my life to be more like them. Jenorama, you inspire me. Karl and Jes, you were amazing and I want someone to be with me like the two of you are together. All of my former professors, you absolutely make me feel like going back to school and being a professional. It was such a good weekend.

Enough of the good. On to the bad. He fucking ignored me. I was out. Paramedic was out. He pretended like he didn't see me as much as I pretended like I didn't see him. That isn't fair. I'm the one that deserves to pretend not to see him. He needs to see me and be afraid. Piss me off. I was fuming for several minutes last night and had to be calmed down. Now, had I actually been drunk, then I could have approached him. Instead, I am a coward and always will be. I will just fume inside until it gradually goes away on its own instead of actually being resolved.

Tonight is kareoke. I need tonight before the weekend actually begins. I don't know how I am going to manage finding time to sleep. I've said this before and not really meant it, but this time I mean it. I am in charge of the coffee shop starting right now. I am scared. We already have two issues. One involving cups and the other involving turkey. Both are very large issues that I have to figure out without having any answers or alternatives. I'm super nervous.

Anyway, the Postman and I are going to the mall. Sounds like fun doesn't it? I'm not too thrilled.

AND...Today is my mother's birthday to top all the stress off. Lets try to please mother while going crazy. I'm going to break down. But I do have next Tuesday and Wednesday to look forward to. The two nights of plays. One in Kirksville and the other here in St. Louis. If you love me, leave me a comment. I might need it.

Holy Congrats and Crazy Life

2006-09-22T11:19:00.000-05:00

This is the end of my natural state of life. No more playing around and having free time. Until of course, vacation time and going to see The Heidi Chronicles at Truman. That will be my day off for the next three weeks.

Congratulations to Rosie. This comes from all the drunk people at the bar last night. The girls are all super excited.

My roommate is definitely moving out. And we had an amazing heart-to-heart on the porch last night for an hour and several cigarettes. I almost cried.

I don't really have the energy to post right now. My mind is all over the place. But I did get a raise and several other bonuses. Yay. I'll see you all on Saturday. Danger Jenni (otherwise known as Roomie Jenni) will be accompanying me to the wedding, but Beth I would love to sit single and such with you. Jenni will have to go sit with the couples. Promise you a dance. Preferably the Hustle. They had better play the Hustle. Oh and after the wedding, I kinda made plans to meet really hot guy at Complex.

Oh yeah. Really hot guy came into the coffee shop and was flirting with me again. He's an architect. Hot. So he is going out instead of going to Chicago. He knows no one in the city and he's hot and told me that he's horny. I need to get him first. Have a great Friday. I think I am.

The Holy Spirit

2006-09-19T15:55:00.000-05:00

Yes, that is what Jenni and I have renamed my man-business. Or as Bunny would like to call it, my peen. Everyone needs to accept the Holy Spirit into their life. The Holy Spirit is in all of us (but only if you are really lucky). We are not retiring the old name of Mexico but are just giving another point of reference. So now, you may all start talking about all the tales you have heard about the Holy Spirit.

When I was younger, I found the Holy Spirit. I was lost until I found it. I think I might have found it while I was in the closet or maybe I was in bed. When I found it, I knew that I would never be alone again. I spend most of my days trying to get gay men to also find the Holy Spirit. It might save their life.

Ok and now on to other things.

I have decided that the stories from the weekend are not all that exciting because the boys are not all that exciting. I will be hanging out with the Theatre Guy tonight. You might remember me making out with him at Novak's to get over Paramedic (even before Paramedic and I were over--oh yeah I'm just that bad). I had a lot of getting over to do. I think I could, in theory, have a different boy for each night of the week. I need to date more and date less. Meaning, I need to go on more bad dates and make them pay for it and date for less time. Screw this finding my man by dating for awhile and then getting broken up with. I'm a Maneater as Nelly Furtado would say.

It got cold. Where did my summer go? I want it back. I want to lounge around looking at hot boys running shirtless. I want to go swimming in a lake naked. I want to sit around in lawn chairs smoking. I want it all back. I'm not ready for cold yet.

Hey BethSTL, you got a date for the wedding? I think I finally got work rearranged so that I can actually go. I was getting mad for awhile. I cannot wait for this wedding. I need my Jenorama most of all, but I'm also super excited to see Karl and Jes tie the knot. Oh shit. Karl, are you guys registered somewhere. I'm really bad with wedding presents, so you better tell me exactly what you want and then I'll get it. I ended up giving my college roommate a pepper grinder (I didn't realize that I was supposed to get the salt grinder as well) and $20 because I felt bad for giving her a stupid pepper grinder. I wanted to give her something with meaning like a bread box but didn't know if she needed one or wanted one. So you need to be specific and it has to be something I can get in two days.

I think this might be all for now. I'm going to go home to watch more Grey's Anatomy and chill out for awhile before Showtunes.

Worst thing about breaking up

2006-09-17T21:31:00.000-05:00

Having to find a new date to the highly anticipated wedding this weekend. Hadn't really put much thought into it because I thought it was farther away. Now I have a few days to find a great date who will have fun and won't care that I will have a lot of people to talk to. Jenorama, I am so waiting to see you.

In other news, I am hot on the dating scene. Not hot as in pursuing and actively trying, but hot as in I've got leads and interests. I am almost ready to call Paramedic to ask for my stuff back. I don't know exactly when is best. I have a feeling that, no matter how over it I actually am, I will be sent back into fits (maybe angry mabye sad). Be prepared is my new motto.

I have successfully killed almost every plant that I have. I have also almost given up on making the apartment clean and/or looking cool. I don't have the time, money, or committment to make that happen. Also, did anyone think that I could actually perform miracles?

Well, this seems to be all I have to say for now on this quiet Sunday evening after watching the rain all afternoon. I will maybe tell you later about the boy that I made out with last night and the other one who told me he was horny. Who knows if those stories will develop? Night night everyone. Welcome to the week.

Who loves me?

2006-09-16T01:50:00.000-05:00

I don't know who is coming from Trempealeau, Wisconsin, but you have beaten out every other city to become...

THE CITY THAT MOST READS THIS BLOG!!!!

I have a sneaking suspicion that it is the entire town reading my blog for mischievous reasons, but what do I care. Give me a vodka tonic Trempealeau (if you even have a bar). Keep reading.

Not angry anymore

2006-09-14T20:53:00.000-05:00

An update for those of you who thought I couldn't get over it.

I'm over it. It really didn't take all that long. I went through the stages of grief and now I'm over it. I was actually over it about Tuesday afternoon. It was actually really easy to get over. Once I realized that I was a lot better off without him and that he just made segment of my life seem better, then it was really easy to see that he was a real douchbag and that I will be able to find someone better. And I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better. He really did make me feel like shit for awhile. He embarassed me in front of his friends and mine. He only did what he wanted to do and not what I wanted to do. Basically, he used me.

The only thing that I still have to do before it is all over is get my stuff back. This is probably going to be bad but I still have to do it. I like my stuff otherwise it would not be mine. So this could be a fun adventure.

In other news, other boys have helped me get over Paramedic. Thank you to the boys who flirted with me Tuesday night to make me feel pretty. Thank you to the one who got away for making me feel like a wonderful person. I might have already found someone to move on with but I'm going to take it really slow. Probably painfully slow. I don't need to have a relationship right now. Plus, I don't know how I made one work in the first place with how busy I am. I think that a relationship is (and was) unhealthy for me.

Wednesday, I did some therapy shopping. I probably coulld have waited a day or two after "putting money away for my future" before blowing a huge amount at the mall. I opened a savings account to help save up enough to start a CD and really start investing in my future. Banker is very proud of me. He will probably be less so when he realizes what I spent. Damn you GAP. But I did get some cute underwear and some nice pants to go with my pants for the wedding.

I need to start watching the DVDs from Grey's Anatomy (that I got for free). I had to finish the third season of Arrested Development before starting a new series. Plus, I knew that I didn't really need anything else sad earlier this week. I needed something hysterical. But now, it is time to start the amazingness that is the second season at Seattle Grace.

It looks like probably the first of the year before my improv troup starts performing, but I will keep you updated. And now, I think I'm going to sign up for myspace. That will show Paramedic. Plus, I want to be competitive with collecting friends. I'm so far behind that I will have to work very hard.

Psycho Ex-Boyfriend

2006-09-11T00:31:00.000-05:00

No not the one who just broke up with me. I'm talking about myself here. I kinda want to be the crazy ex-boyfriend. The one that you have to avoid at the bars. The one who sends you crazy text messages. The one who you won't ever be friends with again.

So here are my ideas.

Text: "So does the boy that you went home with last night after we broke up make your life less crazy...cause that was why you said we couldn't date."

Text: "So when you wouldn't go down on me, was that because you wanted more sex and decided to take someone else home?"

Phone call: "I want my cell phone charger, my fucking ashtray, and my dignity back from when you made me cry outside the club. Oh yeah and do you want to go dutch on a couple of our dates that I paid for because I make more money than you do because all my money doesn't go toward mistakes I made in my past?"

Phone call: "So when your friends told me never to break up with you, I thought that maybe you really were a great guy and deserved my time and attention. Now that you broke up with me, my friends will probably hate you and will never want to see you. Oh yeah and you might want to stay away from the coffee shop for awhile unless you like the taste of evil in your vanilla latte. I'm not gonna say what evil is. We'll just leave that a surprise."

Text: "So can you record Weeds and Project Runway for me? I was kinda using you for your cable."

Encounter: A giant punch to the face and a kick to the crotch. Not even a punch to the box. Doesn't deserve such a cool action.

So do you get the idea that I'm not very happy right now?

Its my lucky day!

2006-09-07T16:03:00.000-05:00

I had an free hour at the meter I parked at.

I got 5 free tickets to Kings of Leon that I can't go to but I will be bartering with people for favors in return for tickets.

The Paramedic and I are looking just fine now. I think. He does have an outrageous black eye that I did not give him.

Payday.

I got called to come into work late.

It is all looking great again. Thank god. I thought September was going to kill me.

Toilets and Fights

2006-09-04T00:39:00.000-05:00

Don't ever get into a drunken bitchy mood when your boyfriend is "feeling weird". He will go to Chicago and not really explain why. There is trouble in the magical land of boyfriends. I just don't think that he is happy with our relationship. Otherwise, he is really unhappy with other things that he isn't telling me. He really isn't telling me a whole lot about why he isn't all hugs and kisses like normal. I hope that it has nothing to do with the whole "I love you" exchange.

Now consider this...I have never been in a serious dating relationship where I am always staying over and actually planning a future together. He has been in several long-term relationships. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing here. I guess I'm just kinda waiting for him to tell me that I've been elimidated and then I cry a lot. I really hope that doesn't happen but that is all that I know of relationships.

I am exhausted. I cannot fathom even continuing this fight. I just want to o crawl into bed with him and cuddle and make it all better. Did I mention that I don't really even know if we are fighting or if he is upset at all?

Oh yeah, I said "I love you" when we went camping. The moment was right and it was exactly how I felt. I know that we have only been together for a month. He did say that he loved me back.

Enough about that. You are probably all screaming to just shut up. Well how about the fact that I had to unclog two toilets tonight at work. And the fact that my soon to be former roommate left potatoes on top of the refridgerator until they rotted and the rotten juices dripped down the side of the fridge. Take that for telling me to shut up. It was really super gross.

Did I mention that I got gorgeous new sheets and a comforter for my bed? I love it. It is red and orange and so pretty and fluffy. Because it is so comfortable and because I haven't stayed at my house for awhile, I still haven't finished the remaining thirty pages of American Gods (which is a phenominal book and everyone should read it if they consider themselves to be the least bit intelligent).

My sunburns still itch a lot and are still red from canoeing. I just burnt the tops of my legs and my feet. Not my "pale as the winter moon reflecting off the snow" back (that Paramedic took pictures of to make fun of me til the end of time with). I'm sure that I will post those pictures when he develops them.

I guess that I have rambled enough for most of you. If you want more, just let me know. Maybe I'll give it to you and maybe I won't.

Camping Weekend Part Three

2006-08-28T12:35:00.000-05:00

You did not miss the first two parts, I am just starting with the last until I can steal pictures from people on myspace (which I am still boycotting). Paramedic took some great pictures of us making out on the river and also of my extremely pale body (which is now kinda bronzed/sunburnt). But before I speak of all the craziness of camping/canoeing I must tell you about getting back to St. Louis.

My best friend from high school and beyond, Rachel, and her friend (and mine) Rose came to visit me before Rachel leaves for Japan. I was extremely late getting back from canoeing, so they met me at my apartment and they came in while I was showering. I decided that we were going to go to a few of my favorite bars in the neighborhood. I took them to SubZero and the Loading Zone and we just had a few drinks (I had met my daily/monthly limit on alcohol).

When we get back to the apartment, Rose exclaims, "Hey Rachel, where is my car?" Can you please start freaking out with us right now? We all start to freak out just a little bit. "My car was right here. Right here!!!" Insert hand motions of trying to make a car appear out of thin air. Her car was parked immediately behind my car and was most definitely not where it was left. In the car are two laptops, lots of clothes, Hello Kitty seat covers, and various gay themed decorations.

Imagine, if you will, two thugs riding around with Hello Kitty seat covers in a purple-ish brown car. So hardcore. The laptops were in the trunk along with a lot of clothes and some other stuff that could have gotten them some money.

Now, continue to freak out while the cops are called and magically arrive in seconds. The cops inform me and Rose that the car should turn up and that lots of Chrystlers and Dodges are getting stolen, used to commit crimes, and then abandoned within a few days. The cops were extremely nice about everything. Continue to freak out. Lots of crying and the perfect moment to vomit from extreme stress was passed over. There was the perfect moment to vomit that we all missed but felt at the same time.

The cops leave and no calming down happens for quite some time. We thought that Rachel's passport was in the car and it was going to be impossible for her to move to Japan next week. Everything was just terrifying for several moments. Finally, we calm down just a little bit. Enough to stop randomly screaming obscenities. We had to eventually go to bed because waiting all night was not going to do us any good.

The cops found the car the next morning and called us at 8am. The car was abandoned about six blocks away from my house. The perps had popped the lock and smashed the ignition with a rock. Otherwise, nothing had happened. Everything was still in the trunk and it wasn't all shot up or anything. Rose does now have to start her car with a screwdriver (which is kinda hot and badass). So everything kinda turned out ok and all the freaking out was (thank god) for nothing.

So this is bon voyage to Rachel. She will be leaving for a year in Japan next week. I will not get to see her for an entire year. It is amazing that she is getting out of this country. I am so happy for her. The entire year will be spent on the top of a mountain teaching kids in a small town, eating sushi, and figuring out this world and what to do with it. I will miss you Rachel, but I will also be jealous of you and spend so much time thinking of you. We will talk a lot this year and it will be great. I love you Rachel.

More than a week

2006-08-23T00:36:00.000-05:00

I gave Paramedic a giant hickey. We have watched a lot of Weeds (which has always been fantastic and will be this season). Still, no sex (for those of you that wonder about such things). This means that we are actually building a very nice relationship, and even though we are moving very fast it is still at a very nice pace.

In other terms, I am beginning to feel a bit like a St. Louis C-List celebrity. I keep having people come up to me at random places saying hi and they met me at so-and-so. I am really starting to get around. I also had a very random encounter at a gas station in south city. I ran into one of my makeup store co-workers and neither of us really know what we were doing at that gas station at that time of night.

I passed my second car inspection with no trouble whatsoever. The first time, they told me that I had a problem with my swaybar. I laughed and said that I would have to call my father because I thought they were making it up. Turns out that it is a car part and it might need to be fixed but not to pass inspection. So I took it somewhere else and it was super easy even though it was half and hour away. There was this really old man sleeping in a chair and everyone seemed to ignore him except me. I really thought he was dead for awhile. I still need to get my air fixed and also see if this sway bar is in bad shape, but not as important as buying new sheets for a bed I never sleep in anymore or buying furniture like a couch or shelves for my room. I am excited to actually buy stuff that will make my house feel like a home.

My bestest friend in the whole wide world is coming to St. Louis on Saturday after the canoeing trip. We are probably going to raise a little hell and just relax from my drunken trip on a river. I'm super excited to show her a little of my life since leaving the small town we grew up in. She has come to see me once where I actually live but otherwise, we have just gone on trips and I've seen her when I went home. So this will be more of me in my life. Be very excited Rachel. I might want you to guest blog your experience.

Anyway, now it is time for me to go home to my bed and sleep by myself since Paramedic has to work tomorrow and I (and possibly he) needs sleep. Lots of sleep.

Countdown to canoeing and vacation (much needed two days off)...3 days. Be very happy for me.

The Gift

2006-08-14T17:35:00.000-05:00

Jenni thinks it is hysterical that Paramedic gives me a key and I gave him an ashtray. Is that a fair exchange?

2006-08-14T10:53:00.000-05:00

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

This video kinda makes me hot all over. Don't forget to read the actual post below. This post was supposed to be second.

This is the Key

2006-08-14T10:45:00.000-05:00

This was a CRAZY weekend. If something could be so wrong and so right it would be this weekend.

Starting off with Paramedic news. We went out on Saturday night with a bunch of his paramedic friends to some straight bars. By straight bars, I mean Seamus McDaniels and Nick's Pub which are two very straight Irish Pubs. I think I paid for one of my vodka tonics and a beer (not for me). The rest was purchased for me. When I am paying for drinks, I am a little more responsible. When I am not paying for alcohol, I am less responsible to not responsible at all. I had approximately 6-8 vodka tonics (some were stronger than others). That all just set up this story. Don't think that I'm turning into a raging alcoholic (not more than normal). Sooooo...this friend of a friend of a friend of Paramedic's slapped me in the face for REALLY no reason. Without thinking about it, I slapped him back. He looked at me with extreme shock like he had forgotten that he started it. His friend immediately cut in and told him that he deserved it. Apparently, he had been slapping people all night and I was the first to retaliate. It was kinda really scary. I think we almost got thrown out of the bar.

After that, Paramedic and I went back to his happy apartment and passed out, but not before having a little chat. I was supposed to go to work and wanted to come back to his apartment to sleep for awhile between shifts. He said absolutely and decided that I needed a key to his apartment so I could just let myself in. A KEY TO HIS APARTMENT. Can I be more excited about the way this is going. After his surgery on Tuesday, I will be meeting his parents. This seems like it is a little fast to me, but Paramedic is not concerned. Therefore, I will see how good or how bad it is going to end up being. I am doing this for him. He is having surgery after all and wants to see me more than his parents.

Enough about the boyfriend. First up, I must talk about Bunny. Bunny and Roomie are fighting big time finally. Jenni and I have been waiting for this to happen for quite some time now. It turns out that Roomie is just trying to blame Bunny for insecurities that she holds (so not anywhere close to Bunny's fault). Bunny did not make out with anyone. I so confirmed all the info. This was just one more crazy thing that happened over the weekend. It just so happens that this also means that I am also very pissed off at Roomie and it is not being hidden at all. She decided that it was best for her aunt to not move out until October. Jenni and I have been on pins and needles for two weeks now just patiently waiting for her to move out. I don't think I can handle another month of living with her (which was the whole reason that I was moving out to begin with and then she had to ruin that).

Jim and Kempf are both leaving this week. I am terribly upset that they are both leaving. I have been missing my Kempf anyway and spending some time with her this week makes me miss her more. But, I am planning on spending some time on the East Coast this fall and maybe going to reunion (joan--you coming?). So this could be super fun.

Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with: Jake Shears (Scissor Sisters), Rufus Wainwright, and anyone from OK Go. I need to make Paramedic aware of this. Speaking of Scissor Sisters, they have a new great video and Jake is looking extremely sexy. BUT...even better is the new OK Go video. I posted it below directly from YouTube. Look at me finally getting with the times. Next thing you know, I will have a MySpace.

Anyway, I am actually going to go to my home and sleep in my bed for the first time in several days. Its time for a nap and to officially call this weekend done. I need to start a new week and relax a little because this week is still going to be a little stressful. Who needs sleep when you have a few jobs and a boyfriend? I am getting pulled in a variety of directions and need to spend time with Jenni, Jim, Andi, Alexa and several other people that hopefully are having less drama or life changing events. I'll be back to normal after next weekend. Things to look forward to are the annual canoeing trip from last summer where I pissed off my Open Relationship Girlfriend Becky. Love ya.

Just because I want to

2006-08-07T13:22:00.000-05:00

Today, I am entirely hopped up on caffeine and I am not going to sleep until I see my paramedic (who is not responding to my texts for the last two hours--my guess is that he might actually be saving lives). Yes, I am going to go to sleep around 5 pm. I have to work some tonight and then work a lot for the next few days. I need to get a lot of sleep, I have a lot of catching up to do.

The boy is wonderful. He makes me so happy. We went out Saturday night and I'm pretty sure that Andi made Hottie Banker jealous. Andi was playing volleyball and I was talking to Tori (aka watching Andi and talking about him). Every once in awhile, Andi would pop over just to kiss me and run back to play more volleyball. It was super nice. Tori and I were also bitching about how stuck up the Postman has gotten recently. After he broke it off with me, evidently, she yelled at him for letting me go. Tori is amazing.

I had my first rehearsal for the improv troup. One lady is absolutely hysterical but not an actor. I told her that I was wearing sexy underwear. She said really and then I showed her my sexy underwear. She proceeded to show me her bra and then stated "Why are we showing our underwear?" She really didn't have any idea why she was showing me her bra. It was hysterical. The troup is really fun and I love playing with them. There are some amazing people in the group that I'm looking forward to working with. I think this is going to be a very amusing group. Hopefully the performances will be just as good.

OOOOH!!!! Does anyone remember Peter Pan? Yeah, neither did I. Well anyway. He called me at the Complex and told me to come over to talk to him. So I walk over and he begins to tell me this whole bullshit about going away to college and how he didn't want to start anything and he's been avoiding me. I was just waiting for the best time to not rub it entirely in his face that I didn't like him and found someone else who is more amazing than he will ever be. I was really not into this guy and even his friend said that he is not a nice guy. But anyway, it was all very awkward. And everyone knows how much I love awkward conversation. I truly do absolutely love awkward conversation.

Anyway, time to go buy smokes. Jenni and I are having a field trip.

Mouth to Mouth

2006-08-01T18:23:00.000-05:00

I got "mouth to mouth" from a paramedic for a few hours the other night. That is right, I made out with a hot hot paramedic. And now, I have a boyfriend.

I'm hearing "a back the bus up" type comment. I have missed a couple of very busy days in my virtual life. This might come as quite a shock to some folks out there that are following my life closely. This also came as quite a shock to me. Not an unpleasant one but a shock none the less. I was just excited about being able to blog about going to straight bars and making out in the parking lot while people stared and holding hands at another straight bar and getting looks of unapproval. I did not think that I would have an actual agree on the term "boyfriend".

Well now that we've backed up, let me tell you more. He is a city paramedic around my age. He calls me Cutie. We are going on our first actual alone together date tonight. He is really nice to me and treats me with a lot of respect. Oh yeah...he has two kidney stones so right now we are not doing the Shane usual of fooling around right away. Last night, we did cuddle naked together which was really nice. That was the second time that I've slept over. His paramedic friends all really like me. Everyone on my side really likes him. Even the Postman said that he was cute. Which was a nice thing for him to say. The first nice thing he's ever said to me.

I'm just very happy right now. Things are going well. I'm not moving at all. So all that money that I lost and then will be saving will be even more. I'm going to buy a couch and some new bedding to treat myself to some nice things for working so hard. Everything was chaos for a few days and then Paramedic Boyfriend helped calm things down. Is that a good enough nickname? I don't really think so. I'll work on that.

Well, life is good and things are good. First rehearsal for improv tomorrow. Jenni gets back on Saturday from Florida and the house is still intact thus far. I haven't exploded on the other roommate yet. The jobs are crazy but I'm managing well enough. Now, its time to go have a date with my boyfriend.

Legal Restraints

2006-07-27T18:47:00.000-05:00

So, I might not be able to talk about some things for awhile because of legal restraints (insert wild laughter here). That is right. Your very own Shane could be mixed in with legal issues pertaining to his current place of residence. Here I was all ready to move and now that might not happen for a while. Roomies and I are having serious issues.

I got stood up yesterday by Peter Pan. Who knows what happened? Here I am not interested and then suddenly I am kind of interested and then he blows me off (not literally). I told him I had the entire day off and he doesn't call. Whatev.

P.S. If you are reading this for legal reasons, you will find nothing. Well...you might find some interesting character flaws. You might also find some stuff that you could blackmail me with if you really know my mother well. But other than that, I am a boring person with nothing really significant to say unless you like gay gossip and the lifestyle notes of a young gay man.

P.P.S Did anyone see So You Think You Can Dance last night. I absolutely loved the routine that the first couple performed to Fergie's London Bridge. So much so that I went from disliking the song to loving it. Now I can't get enough of it and want to watch them perform the routine again. Someone should tell me if they get voted off tonight. It was a cute gay boy dancing...so, of course, I'm interested.

Time to go to work. Hopefully, it will not rain on my patio. I need the tips.

Improv

2006-07-21T01:12:00.000-05:00

For those of you that are keeping up with my life, I would like to update you.

BIRTHDAY--The party was fun and I had a blast. I was still not proud of the turnout, but people are still making it up to me. Peter Pan (who I met on Saturday) must have decided that I am wonderful and wants to date me or something because he won't quite let me be. The casino night ended up being quite fun and full of amusement. I kicked some ass at the trivia game even though I was way drunker than anyone else playing. I took Jenni out for her birthday the night before mine so that I could get her present done before my birthday arrived. We had mouthwatering, orgasmic sushi. We also got a little tipsy and came up with the pickup line "My weigh station is open for your eighteen wheeler." Oh yeah that was quite a progression to get to that. I was really happy to go out and have fun with Jenni before moving out.

MOVING--I just lost $250 on a lease that I will not be taking and instead I will be saving that over the course of five months on the new sweet place that I will live in South City. It is so much bigger and nicer. This means that for a while, I have to live in the poor house and not go out as much. But my grandmother gave me $5 for my birthday so I'm getting there. OOOH yes, the place that I'm moving to is only a block away from....Guess who? Hottie Banker. Oh yes that is right, my life is happier.

AUDITIONS--I made it. I'm in the troup. Super excited. We start rehearsals in two weeks and I don't know when or where we will be performing. I will soooo keep you updated on this. So that means that I will be working two jobs and acting finally. I will not be cutting down on hours so life will be quite crazy. I am super stoked though. I finally auditioned and it wasn't scary and I actually made the cast for what I auditioned for. Success and getting paid is just around the corner.

So that is what is going on with my life right now. Oh yeah, Muny boy has a boyfriend. But whatev.

First 23 Years

2006-07-18T16:05:00.000-05:00

Life ExperienceBold the ones you've done..
01. Bought everyone in the bar a
. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne. (So much so that I could barely walk home--4 blocks)
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day (I’m an actor. Of course, I did this all the time when I was little).
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your
. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach (Do we count beaches that are attached to lakes?)
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow (and a goat. I am a country boy in some ways)
56. Alphabetized your cds
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers (It wasn’t so much posing as it was standing)
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain (I’ve kissed in just about every possible situation)
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married (over Margaritas and couldn’t be any happier. Love ya Wife.)
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage (Absolutely. All the time and I love it)
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand (actually, I’ve had many)
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror.
96. Raised children.
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over (Welcome to St. Louis)
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart (So I’ve been told)
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse (oh man did that not go well. The horse decided to be a renegade.)
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi (Last night. At Sub Zero. It was orgasmic)
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read (What about an author I was supposed to read and didn’t at the time but did later. I’ve done that too)
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions (It has really only been one but still…)
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146: Dyed your hair
147: Been a DJ (on an actual radio station where they paid me)
148: Shaved your head
149: Caused a car accident (ooooh so many. I’m only now recovering from the insurance company)
150: Saved someone's life (but I did call 911 when a guy fell off a curb in roller blades. I also kinda got help when a girl was having heat stroke. But, never actually all that life threatening that I actually helped with)

Other things I’ve done that should be noted.
151. Had a long distance relationship.
152. Been submerged up to my knees in animal shit.
153. Been so sad that I could not even cry.
154. Taken secret trips without anyone knowing.
155. Been on tour.
156. Had a stranger fall in love with me.
157. Met people that I’ve known hundreds of miles away from where either one of us normally are. (I’ve met people in D.C. from my hometown in Missouri).
158. Gotten arrested.
159. Been a celebrity of sorts.
160. Have been in my underwear in front of more than 100 people. (I’ve done this more than once. I almost got kicked out of a bar for it. I was in a movie only in my underwear and in a play where I was in my underwear for quite a while.

Birthday

2006-07-18T14:27:00.000-05:00

It is my birthday. I have so much to tell you but that will have to wait til 5.

This is so not me. I was a clean baby who wasn't fat. Plus, I was born with dark hair and a beard. And, even as a baby, I had better fashion sense than this kid.

Rosie is pretty

2006-07-13T13:53:00.000-05:00

And evidently, so am I.

Tuesday night, the night that I must have looked better than ever before, I got invited home with three different boys. Two of which were very attractive. It was a hell of a night though. Ex's a plenty. I was having a great night though in terms of feeling awesome. On the walk down to the Zone, I ran into three groups of people that I knew. It took me half an hour to walk ten blocks. I ended up getting kidnapped by two of my Sephora co-workers (I made out with them--boy and girl--later-but that is it). The Postman was down at the Zone getting very impatient waiting for me. He had called over an hour before.

I have found a new object of obsession. He works for the Muny and is very cute. A dancer who also writes memoirs. He has been coming to Cartel but has not yet gone out to the clubs. I am still trying to figure out if he is 21 yet. The Postman is in on the plan and wants to help out. I don't think that I officially need his help. The Postman also still thinks that it would be a great idea for me to move in with him. I still see this as being a terrible idea. I think I would rather live beyond my means than live with someone that I might be tempted to sleep with.

I am in the process of looking for a new best friend. I'll be taking applications throughout the month of July. The winner will probably be the one with the biggest or best birthday present (not necessarily tangible).

I found a place to live, but my current landlord also wants to show me a place to live which is farther away but sounds like a great deal (plus she might cut me a break on the deposit). She really likes me. The parents are going to come down to help me move and plan on staying in whatever tiny space I rent. I tried to explain how small these apartments are and that staying in a hotel would be a great idea. I need to start packing and getting ready because it is coming up very soon. Color me excited to move.

I think my birthday is going to be jam-packed (hopefully not grape jam though--I prefer strawberry or plum). I am working the morning and then going to auditions. I hope that I get to go to the casino for at least a little bit with Cartel. Who knows how long the auditions will last? Maybe I will cry and run out half way through. I haven't done long form improvisation since high school. But after all that is done, the party will begin. I have told several people and they all seem very excited and ready to party hard on a Tuesday.

Did I mention that I did not go home with anyone on Tuesday. I was pretty drunk but knew that I should probably not do anything like that. I want to date someone and not just go home and do whatever with them. I'm ready for another boyfriend. It has been a while since one of those.

Now that I have my paycheck, it is time to go see Banker. Yesterday, he was too busy to chat so hopefully I can flirt more today.

Talk about life in a whirlwind. But for now, I feel like I've never been quite so in control. I am making decisions and staying on top.

Tipsy Melon

2006-07-10T01:16:00.000-05:00

The official fourth of July event. TIPSY MELON.

The Postman came over to help me kick off this year's Tipsy Melon event.

Tipsy Melon. Go to Schnuck's. Buy a seedless watermelon of your desired size. Find vodka of any variety (preferably cheap). Collect ingredients in your kitchen or any place with a knife and a bowl. Cut a hole in the watermelon. Insert vodka. Insert more vodka as this amount wears down. Keep doing this until you get too bored or impatient. Cut watermelon into several bite sized pieces. Dump more vodka over the top (the rind probably absorbed a lot of the vodka so you must add more). All in all, you should add at least a fifth of vodka for a small sized melon or two fifths for a larger sized melon. As much vodka as you can possibly handle. Eat by yourself or invite friends to come along for the fun. Be sure to drink the juice. This is the absolute secret of tipsy melon. The juice holds all of the power.

This year, I did not get nearly as intoxicated as I have in years past. I ate several glasses full of tipsy melon and did not feel drunk hardly at all. I think that I did not add enough vodka. I just finished off the handle of vodka without actually thinking about how much was in there. I don't think there was an entire fifth left. Maybe also, I'm an alcoholic that needs more than a fifth of vodka to get me trashed. Who is to tell?

Two Years

2006-07-10T00:54:00.000-05:00

Tonight is the official two year anniversary of my bout with the law. Two years ago tonight, I was arrested for drinking underage. I thought that I would be in terrible trouble and spent last night playing it easy in case I get n trouble again. So, I spent the night not having fun. The solution to the problem is that I made it through the night. Woohoo.

Birthday is coming up. Start planning all the presents that you want to send me. I will be spending three days celebrating my birthday. I will also be working a lot during those three days. I hope that they understand that I will probably be drunk or hungover most of those days. I am not that excited about celebrating turning 23. That age kinda just seems lame. I have been saying that I am twenty three for at least 8 months now. It is going to seem very strange to actually be 23.

In boy news, The Postman is both flirting still and pissing me off lots. I want to actually be friends with him, but it seems that I will probably end up messing around with him again if all of this continues. Other boys are also driving me crazy. I just really need to get some or go on a date with someone that I actually like. Did I tell you that I went to go see Prairie Home Companion with Bubble Boy. I've had lots of boys present interest but I have not actually gone through with anything. I think the whole working round the clock is massively affecting my love life. I just don't think that I have the time.

I am going to audition for an improv troup. I haven't done improv since high school, but I was pretty good then. I really just need to audition and get the whole first step out of the way. Once I audition once, I am sure that I will not have this overwhelming fear in my heart. This is also happening in the three days of my birthday. The auditions are the 17th and 18th. As of right now, I am working both of those days or going to a casino for Casino Night with Cartel. I think I might have to actually skip this party so that I can do what I need to. This is going to be a problem.

I am calling tomorrow to confirm that I want to rent an apartment. I don't know how the whole application thing is going to work or the whole actually having money for the deposit. The apartment is cute but super small and super expensive. It is closer to Cartel and is out of the chaos that is 4739A. I will be so happy to actually move out. I think living on my own is going to be the hardest thing that I will do. I will be 23 so I think that it is time. I need to grow up and be responsible for myself.

My life is changing daily and hopefully I survive. I will see you all soon.