The first time I ever shot a gun I was at my grandparents house yet again proving my masculinity by not running from the chickens. A BB gun, a little fake gun for kids. I must have been about twelve. We were supposed to take turns shooting a beer can. We wer all trying to see who could get it in the O of the name. I can't recall what type of beer it must have been. Must have actually been the A of Natty Light. My grandfather's beer of choice. My cousins all had already learned to shoot a gun so I was the odd cousin who was never allowed or never wanted to shoot a gun. Pacifism to me. Pussy to my cousins.
I took my turn. Carefully aiming and reaiming. Trying to get used to the swaying of my body in relation to the gun and the stillness of the can. Shot one--miss into the grass. Shot two--the heavy thud against the storage shed. Shot three--into the can. This was enough success for me. It was now time to go inside and warm up or get away from this loud male bonding time that makes me feel out of place and show how much unlike my cousins I truly am.
We would often times, in the late fall after the winter wood was brought into the pasture, build a gigantic fort from anything we could find. Wood, scraps of metal, carpet, anything that was available and wouldn't be missed by my grandfather. I remember always digging some sort of latrine to be topped with a big piece of wood found with a hole through the middle. As if we would be living there for the entire winter. The adults all took turns telling us that this was dangerous and that the five foot tall walls of wood could collapse and kill us. This sport was always more likely to include the girls. They were always in charge of carpets and windows. We had to make sure there was a meeting space and a lookout for the adults. We always had to be aware of everything. We would sometimes get flowers from the cemetary that neighbored this particular pasture. It was all inclusive until the boys took over the fort and kicked out the younger boys and girls. Sometimes I was included and sometimes I got sent with the other kids even though I was very close to their age or just a month younger.