Happy Anniversary!!!!
That’s right; this is the wife, who has just recently celebrated with Shane our wonderful, magical, and absolutely fantastic one year anniversary. We had the most fitting anniversary imaginable for us. Our one year anniversary to the date, was November 5, and for all of you in Kirksville you know that Nov 5th this year was the PRISM DANCE.
That’s right, Saturday I jumped in my car caught up with Shane in Columbia. We met up at Steak n Shake, and then headed up to Kirksville. The highlights of that hour and a half trip included me driving Shane’s car, 63 FINALLY being divided between Macon and Kirksville, and Shane almost swallowing a bug, then littering Missouri with the cup the bug was hiding out in (sorry Missouri). Anyway after a solid drive up there, I moved into my friend’s apartment I’m staying at for the night and caught up with Shane at Il Spazio, and I was late to my own anniversary dinner (mainly due to my friend fussing over her hair). So I arrive at Il Spazio to see Shane already eating, but at the end of his meal he brings over his two chicken strips and orders a drink and we eat our meal (fully chaperoned by my friend) almost under candlelight (hey we tried). Then we headed over to the finest bar in Kirksville, Dukem Inn, where we have an anniversary shot, followed by vodka tonics. Next we head on over to the prism dance where we made quite the entrance (mainly because no one knew we were coming although Shane in a skirt added to our entourage) just in time for the drag show. I got to see my favorite amateur drag queen up on stage performing yet again Britney Spears in less clothes than I saw her in last time. This year she took second place, I was very proud *tear* anyways moving on to the scandals:
So the bitch was totally there, I know I shouldn’t talk about the bitch while posting about our one year anniversary, but Shane and I both agreed that he has gone way down hill. He wore a shirt that was cut too short to show off his abs, which he never did and now he makes out with anything that moves, penis or no penis, trust me, just ask our chaperone who received an unwanted hicky from him on her boob….I had to slap him a few times, although I’m sure he enjoyed that…moving right along….
My bitter ex-husband spent a good portion of the night puking on a fence outside of the dance confessing his undying love for boys as they walked by. That’s what you get for drinking a fifth of rum all by yourself….
My husband, on one of his smoke breaks outside apparently showed his penis to a professional drag queen, who now wants to marry him. For now I told her she’s not allowed, but she can be one of Shane’s mistresses especially since she complemented my boobs in a weird way, so Madison, welcome to the family!
For those of you who don’t know our family, it’s very big. I have an ex husband, a mister, a man in waiting, a boyfriend, a soul mate, random lovers, and a man who wants me to call him daddy. Shane has mistresses, no ex-wives (less baggage), a boyfriend, and many many many make-out buddies. Together we have a gardener, a pool boy, and a marriage councilor (whom Shane snuggled with; highly effective).
And in my own little world of scandals I had a Korean kid who wanted to make out with my neck all night, sorry hun, I’m a married girl. So to avoid him I found the nearest gay boy, wrapped my arms around him told him I’m sorry but I needed someone to save me from him. He looked at the kid and said no problem, that’s a crime against humanity. So I was saved, I love gay men!
So Shane and I had a beautiful night. Our chaperone even requested Missy Elliot for us, so the DJ’s played Lose Control for our 1 year anniversary and we got to dance to it :-D Our new song for our new year (how bout that Shane?)..
So it was a fabulous wedding anniversary. We had dinner, dancing, and even added a professional drag queen to the family. I would have been disappointed with anything less :-D The last year has been truly amazing with Shane and hopefully we will have many more lovely and fun filled years to come. Love you hubby!!!!
-Wife