Boys and Girls. That is the subject of this blog.

With my improv show coming up, I have been trying to get things in order. My parents are coming to town on Friday to see the weekend of shows. I also might have a few boys of interest coming to see the shows as well. Let me tell you who those boys are.

Abortion Boy. He is the one who went on a date with me and then bailed out and then told me it was because I did not call him. He is a repeat audience member who loved our show.

MyPlace Boy. A couple of weeks ago, a coworker came downstairs to give me a number that some guy left for me at the counter. Told me that he was really shy but very attractive. It had his number and his myspace account. We have been sending messages back and forth but still have yet to meet. He seems to be very interested but is not 21. I don't really know what I want to do about that.

Football Player. So Halloween was quite an event. I was dressed as a 70s porn star. He was dressed as a trampy football player. We made out in the back room of a dance club (that I may not be so proud of). No one was around and we got pretty frisky. Anyway, we have been exchanging text messages since the occurance. He also seems to be very into what I have to offer.

Coffee Mug Boy. Finally got up the courage to say "Maybe we should hang out sometime when you are not drunk outside of Novak's" To that I replied that he should come see my show. He is super cute. Studies a lot at the coffee shop. Never has any money. Has the cutest little smile. Loved my gym coach costume. Has a lot going for him in general but just seems to not be right for me. That doesn't mean that I don't want to take him for a test ride or two.

The Thinker AKA Robbing the Bank Boy. Now this is a boy that I am interested in. Super cute. I know very little about him. He does show a lot of interest but I don't want to ask him out at the coffeeshop. I want to get him into a more natural habitat and then ask him to go for drinks or a movie or whatever he might be into. He makes awkward flirtatious conversation with me. I think he might study art. This is what I have picked up from spying on him.

That is an update on boys.

Now lets talk about other stuff. I dressed up several times for Halloween. I had to work outside in the kinda cold weather wearing short gym shorts, a track jacket and a whistle. I was your gym coach. It was kinda cold and I got beer all over my legs and feet. After a long day at work, I decided to hit up all the parties that I was invited to.

I went to a few in the Central West End to find that they were all closed. Decided before house parties, I should get liquored up first. Went to Novak's to hang out with extremely drunk people that I did not know. But this real asshole grabbed my ass. I blew my whistle in his face. Told him "Inappropriate Contact. Take a lap, Asshole."

Was supposed to go to Jenny's birthday party. Got a phone call that everyone was drunk, passed out, or people that I did not know. Instead, I was instructed to go to H-Bomb's apartment. Had a beer. Did some Irish Celidh dancing to Flogging Mollies. Passed out hardcore from exhaustion not from being drunk.

I am desperately missing best friend Rachel. I believe that she is back in the U.S. but still have not gotten in contact with her. I'm about to call her parents if I don't find her soon. I'm hoping she might read this and find some way of giving me an update.

The cruise is a month away. I am super excited to get my pale ass onto a boat and experience the ocean and foreign countries.

Improv Show number Two (It got better with age). Parents coming to town. Still don't know what I'm going to do with them for an entire weekend. I have the whole weekend off so I can't use work as an excuse. It will just be them, so there is no sending them on an excursion with brother for an afternoon. I am going to go crazy.

I really need to get my life in order. There is some major disarray that is very obvious by my room. If I started making decisions about things then I could actually move forward. Oh yeah, this is so brought on by reading a book about breaking up. Its Called A Breakup Cuz Its Broken (or something like that). And I'm not even getting over a breakup. I think reading self-help books could be a new thing for me. I'm really getting a lot out of this book. Turns out revenge on an ex is not the best thing for you. It is also amazing that I have had so many good breakups. I must just really be able to get over boys easily.

I have to give to get.

That is what it seems like. Since the time of the guy whose name I did not know til now, I have been very uneventful. I think I would make out with an ugly woman right about now. That being said, now on to the actual stuff (just to see if I have an interesting life outside of boys).

I'm not drunk (shocking noises here). I have been around alcohol all night. Long night of bartending and seeing hot boys. The Lounge is turning into quite a hot boy spot. I was running my ass off all night trying to keep them all happy.

The Man of My Dreams is becoming not the Man of My Dreams. I have a new crush who I have been making eyes at. I just need to get him out of the Coffee Shop and figure out what his story is. He has no nickname yet because I don't even know his real name.

Project Improv St. Louis is having a second round of shows coming up in November. Super duper fun. I am so looking forward to it. We have been rehearsing the same form and making it perfect. PIKim is a rockin' dancer too. What more would you want from a show?

I went home last weekend. It was nice seeing the fam. Almost killed my sister for saying (when I was hungover) that my food sucked and I shouldn't cook that anymore. I almost jumped across the table. I got into town midafternoon on Friday. Got my eyebrows waxed (thank god). Spent time avoiding but hanging out with my parents and my aunt. Saturday, I cooked all day for the party that my mother was throwing for her 50th birthday. I don't know what kind of party this was, but it seemed like it was more a party to welcome me back to town than to celebrate my mother's birthday.

After spending a few hours at the party (I had been in town for over 24 hours and had only 4 cigarettes), the youngest half of the party decided to go to the Elk's Club. I did not remember how bad the alcohol was in Maryville. I bought a fifth of Blueberry Stoli and left it at the rents house. From that point forward, it was a terrible craps shoot to find good booze. I went from Absolut to Level to Burnett's. Not a good progression. I did manage to drop one group of friends and my sister to finding some new people. Found a girl that graduated a few years after me. Had fun with them. Found a girl that I knew through Rachel (Hannah since you were wondering). Got some weird "gay friendly" man to show his penis in a bar (I think that is worth like twenty five scavenger hunt points). Went to a frat house. Kinda convinced them that I was an alum from a different school. Still sucked. Went home and had some drinks with Mom before she went to bed. Wasted.

Never want to go home again. From this point forward, everyone has to come see me. No more M-Ville. I could not even handle a weekend. Maybe I could if I just stayed in the house but that is kinda boring. I guess it was fine in the house (when my sister wasn't there).

And my mind keeps coming back to boys. There is so much crap with boys. There are ugly ones who are stalking me. Like literally stalking me at work and the bars. Ones that send me messages on myspace like I miss not seeing them. I just want to get through the bullshit and find someone pretty and nice. Is that so hard to ask. But from what I hear, I guess I am hard to understand.

I have not posted forever. I am a terrible person because of this, but I have my excuses. I have been extremely busy with the three jobs. I've been seeing several people but not for long periods of time. And I have not had access to internet for prolonged periods of time.

So here is a start (specifically for a few people).

Muny Boy dissappeared. Just stopped answering phone calls and would leave texts saying he was super busy. Disappointing. Temporary Boyfriend also went bye bye.

I am now managing a lounge. So now I have The Coffee Shop, The Diner, and The Lounge. Keep them straight. I have been having a great time with the staff at the Lounge and meeting new people. I'm learning how to bartend as they do (they think that I know what I'm doing).

The boys. The Co-Worker and I have slept together a few times more. He is moving to San Fransisco by the end of the year. The Man of My Dreams seems to be showing more interest in me but I'm still too much of a pussy to ask him out. I got close tonight. I asked out a boy with a skunk stripe in his hair. He moved back home with his parents.

The most recent addition is Philly. I got really really drunk on Friday. Like lots of Blueberry Stoli and Tonics. I went to Novaks. I was catching up with friends from college that are moving back to town. Out of nowhere, this guy tells me that I was dancing great or sexy on the dance floor or something like that. I had already seen him hitting on the Co-Worker but oh well. We start dancing. We exchange words. We are going back to his place. At some point in there he might have said his name. But I don't remember it. We get back to his loft. Very nice. Clothes come off in the kitchen. Fun is being had. We go to the bedroom. We start some stuff but something happened to where we didn't finish any stuff. Pass out. Wake up the next morning. The to be continued occurred. I give him my number. I try to spy at mail to find out his name. He asks if I'm hungry. I just leave. Work to do. Have to make deposits and stuff.

He waits two days. Calls me. I'm at The Diner doing inventory. I cannot hear him when he says. Hi Shane...? Yeah who is this? This is garble garble. Who...sorry I can't hear you. This is mumble mumble from the other night. Oh yeah...Hey. I missed his name again. Fuck Fuck. Still don't know his name but I'm supposed to call him Wednesday to see if he wants to do something. The morning was great. He is intelligent. Very nice. Good looking. Will call him. I've got plans to figure out the name.

Wedding this weekend. Super excited to get out of town. Very much need vacation. Detox. Drinking without need or intention. Lots of things to do before then. I hope that I get to post more frequently. The drama still continues it just doesn't get to be published.

I am on the cover. Above the fold. And it looks like I'm naked.

Apparently, I get more action on the way home than most people do in a month. This is what most people's opinions are. I believe that this is not true. But I did have a boy moaning my name last night. So you decide.

Things are going very well with the Muny Boy. Last night was fantastic. Monday night though, Temporary Boyfriend texted me. He apologized for disappearing. He told me he was depressed and wanted to talk to me. I told him that anytime he wanted to talk that he should just call. But I believe that he knows that we are not dating. Thats good.

My photo comes out Friday in the Vital Voice. I will be posting the pics when I get them. I still have not seen them. So excited and still very amused.

I had the flu over the weekend. That sucked. The medicine that I got made it seem like the fan was spinning when it wasn't even on. I feel way better now.

Anyway. Time for rehearsal. Have fun.

Yes it is my birthday. Huzzah! I am having a great day so far.

We got up. Had some mimosas with lunch. Went shopping for books. Talked to the hot boy at the bookstore. Got a manicure/pedicure. So far, awesome.

Thats not all. Currently, Temporary Boyfriend is so out. Pissed me off too much. I have spent too many weekends worried about whether or not he would call me. So I found someone semi-new. If you can remember back to last summer when I talked about Muny Boy and how cute he was, then you are great. I met this boy last summer. He had a boyfriend but was super cute. He was in a movie with Allison Janey (from the West Wing and others). We flirted a lot and had a great summer but he went away.

Skip to Sunday. I am talking to the cops about a crazy lady at the coffee shop. He walks up and gives me a great big hug and asks if I'll have time for a smoke break with him. During our smoke break, he asks me if I want to go see a movie with some of his friends. I rush around and get to the movie five minutes late. He has already bought my ticket and is very excited. After the movie, he asks if I want to go walking around the Loop with his friends. So we walk around and he invites me to his apartment. One thing led to another and "I've been waiting over a year for this to happen". He asked me to stay over. What we did was amazing. Toe-curling. It was incredible. Sweaty. Intense. One of my top three. It was necessary. And I felt bad after. I felt bad because I really do still like Temporary Boyfriend.

Since then though, Temporary Boyfriend has pissed me off again because he was lame last night. I told him that I would be going to the bars on my birthday. I could not hang out with him because he is not 21. He did not call me. He sent me a lame text message. So glad that I have someone who actually wants to do things with me. Otherwise, I would not be having such a good day.

All in all, I am thinking about me. That is what I need to do.

Tonight, I am going to Novak's. Jim told me that he was getting me a banner and some balloons and stuff. Kareoke. Alcohol. Fun stuff. People. I'm happy.

This is what you've been waiting for. Finally a post.

Temporary Boyfriend. He came over for Armageddon and we had a great time. Making out. Talking. Eating way too much Tipsy Melon. We decided to be Temporary until he goes back to college. Doesn't this sound wonderful? It would if I had talked to him since he left the Day After Armageddon. At the risk of sounding stalkerish, I have called him once and sent him six text messages all with no response. This is the twenty year old. He told me that I was impossibly nice. Way nicer than any other boy he had dated. I don't understand and it is driving me crazy.

Tipsy Melon. We are still cleaning up from the aftermath of Tipsy Melon. I think Tipsy Melon needs to be an outdoor activity. We had three Tipsy Melons this year. Way more than ever before. I was also way more sober than any other year. I can't explain that. I kept eating and eating. I had to shut myself off when I started feeling the effects of too much sugar.

Swim Trunk. I had my photo shoot to see me in my swim suit. Talk about crazy. The photographer took me to Union Station to the fountain. At first, I was just sitting on the side. Then he asked me to get in. Then he asked me to straddle the cement fish. I was getting sprayed in the face as he kept asking me to lean back further. I was soaking wet and he had to fix my hair. Then he asked me to change into my other trunks. I was in the middle of a lot of people. Not to object, I changed in my car with an old man looking in my direction (creepy). Then he had me standing on a ledge fifteen feet above the ground on hot stone (and I'm afraid of heights). All in all. Completely hysterical. I found it to be ridiculous that I was even doing this.

The Bitch. For those readers that have been around for awhile, I ran into The Bitch again. He walked up behind me as I was entering Novaks. It had been a terrible night anyway. He told me I looked good and had lost weight and that he wanted my smile. I told him he looked the same and paisley is so not in fashion (ever!). And since no one knows who this is (because I have lost all my readers since I haven't posted forever), I will explain briefly. Huge crush on him in college. Hurt my feelings. Big bitch. Didn't ever want to see him again. Now he might be moving to St. Louis.

Sorry its been so long. I have been ridiculously busy. I can't get anything done. I'll try to post more often.