1. My mother is observedly overbearing (according to several other sources).
2. My mother made me gay. My friend Rose came over last night and looked at my mother's Barbie collection (which would make Mattel jealous). Not only does she have these Barbies but she constantly wants to tell me about them. Therefore, I know a lot more than normal boys should about Barbies. I.E. Bob Mackie makes beautiful Barbie dresses. Wonder Woman is a great idea for a Barbie.
3. Don't give things to bums. This bum who constantly walks by my house (he lives somewhere close) always asks to borrow a cigarette. He does this through the universal sign for cigarette by putting two fingers to his mouth and mutters something repeatedly. But the other day, he rang the doorbell to ask me if I had a cigarette for him. I told him no, but this is going to get me into trouble when he rings the doorbell and asks my parents for a cigarette. That won't sit well with them.
4. Don't assume that because no one knows where you are living and your home phone number that the telemarketer doesn't want to talk to your father but actually you.
5. Your uncles are mostly all assholes. Its mostly true too. Your uncles will find things that they think are funny and then make them into stupid jokes about you. They will do this over and over and will even make up stuff.
6. Don't move back into your parents house. Right now, my brother and I and my parents will all attest to this fact. It is not a good living situation right now. We are all at ends with each other.
7. Plants sometimes need watering or they will die. Dogs sometimes need fed or they will be cranky (she has dry food so she didn't starve, but I did forget to feed her one night and she was not happy).
8. Lying is completely ok. And sometimes necessary to make things not explode.
9. You will not overcome your fears just by submerging yourself into them. In fact, it might make you even more afraid. Every time my uncle mentions his roof, I get a little bit sick inside.
10. Unpack some of your stuff. Even though you think that it will be fine to leave stuff in boxes for a month and a half, it will drive you crazy. Only three more days of living amongst a pile of boxes. Then it will be living out of a suitcase. Hopefully moving will happen soon. Cross your fingers.
There the top ten things that I learned while living with my parents for over a month.