Today, I was a man. I sweated and grunted and carried heavy things. Co-worker thinks that I am more manly since I have not showered. Theory--my shampoo makes me just a little bit gayer (it is orange smelling) and not having the proper hair product also helps with the lack of gayness. But that is just his theory.
My mother found my Playboys from back in the time that I was trying to be straight. I would have my friends over and they would look at the Playboys and we would laugh and then we would do other boy things (not like that). This brought me just a little bit closer to my male friends in a time when I was very conflicted with my feelings. So I kept them hidden in my room when I went away to college and kinda forgot that they were even there. Flash forward four or five years. My mother is rearranging furniture in my room at home and discovers the Playboys. She calls me to ask me if they are indeed my fathers (of course they are) and then semi-poses the question of why I had them. I think that I might have stated that I had no idea why they were even there in the first place. I really have no use for them. Apparantly though my mother has figured out that all my father's old Playboys are worth money. So good for him. I had over a years worth of old Playboys in my room including the one with Farrah Fawcette from the early nineties. She was painted all in gold and prancing around on the beach. So this weekend will be fun going back home and trying to clue my mother in to the fact that I am indeed gay. I don't want to come out by it is sooooo time to do so.
The Friday night date went fine. Nothing happened. I was a good boy and now he is calling me virtually every day (still not today but possibly because I have not returned his call from yesterday). I just don't think that his being 18 is going to work out very well. And then on Sunday I went to the local Vodka bar and drank with the manager. This did not turn out very well for my empty stomach. I didn't think I was going to make it the 4 blocks home. The same four blocks that I walk every day to get to work. I was just that drunk. And my bill was less than I could have ever imagined. This is the same place that Jenni and I racked up a hundred dollar bill on sushi and cocktails for two. I also got invited to a winery tour (which I am told is a sex filled weekend and makes me wonder what I'm getting into and whether or not I actually want to go). My boss is jealous of my sexual ability. She wishes that she had so many advances but also would not jump on them because sexual desire is power. I don't really know if I have this power or if it is just an imagined power.
I will be back in the Kville for one night and one night only. I am actually trying to plan a lot of activities into this day. I have to go see professors that are leaving and friends who are graduating and the lot. Then I am going to see my friends produce a play that was written by Paul Kastner and directed by the same Pini that I punched in the balls way back last May. Then I will go Drinkin with Lincoln. Hopefully my girls are prepared for a fun day with drunken Shane.
I have no guess as to what the rest of my vacation weekend will have in store. Family and probably not very much fun. Wahoo. I am missing the forever fun Prism Dance for the first time in semesters. I'm not very happy about that but I know there is no f-ing way that I will be able to leave early from home to go to a homo event. It just won't be the same without me is what I am imagining people saying.
Save me a dance. I'll lead. I am very excited about going back to Mville to see my bestest Rachel. There is rumor of a party. I'll just be happy to see my girl and hopefully some of her friends. I just really can't wait to compare weight loss. It has been since October when I left for St. Louis. How freakin crazy is that? Bye boys and girls. Time to get back to watching Jim play video games and listening to Rosie pop popcorn. Hmmmm. I think its time for a smoke.