Week and more update.

Taco Ninja Party

For starters, Jenni and I had a great time setting up and throwing this gigantic Taco Ninja party. I wish this were a better picture of Jenni's sexy ninja outfit. She was wearing a skirt up to there and cleavage all over the place. Jenni knows how to make some fierce tacos. I started drinking way before the party began. I had a rough day at work. I worked the night before and then had to be back 8 hours later so I was tired to begin with. I had to go hit on the banker after work and invite him to the party (which he didn't show up to but apologized the night after when he was out at the Complex). Anyway...by the time the party started, I was quite drunk.

Note that this is pre-hanging up the poster to announce the party. Very drunk. NINJA!!!!!! I just kept screaming it.
We played Operation Box Drop to clean out the house which was quite fun. I stood at the bottom of my balcony and girls threw boxes at me. Big boxes flying at your face is scary (insert vagina joke here). I don't really know what else to say about the actual party, but Rosie threw up, Beth was drunk, and the wife came to town specifically for the party...

and poked me in the eye. I tried to make an angry face because I was a ninja and this is the best that I could come up with...

I've never felt more like Zoolander. I got a little bit drunk and decided that I should definitely take off my pants. I hate wearing pants at a party...

and I also really like humping recliners. Cowboy ninja. Why? Because not all ninjas are like other ninjas. Plus I'm really inspired by Brokeback Mountain.

And now the important part of the post. I hooked up with Esquire or The Second. I got drunk. He was sober. We made out hardcore and I took him back to my room where we fooled around and I mostly passed out. He walked himself out. From what I actually remember it was okay. From what I found in the morning, it must have been a little more than ok.

To make this long story short. I kinda blew him off (not what you think) after getting together one more time. He was just too young for me and I didn't feel the connection. I feel terrible, but I found a new man last night at the Gay Prom that I went to with my neighbors. This was last night so I don't really know what will happen. Taco Ninja was a hit and Esquire was a miss. This week I get to do construction stuff. Woohoo for tools and hardhats (wow is everything I type today some sort of sexual inneundo?). Happy m-fing Easter (don't call me at ten a.m. to wish me so).

This weekend, I went home. Oh my god. It will be too soon to ever go home again. My uncle told my entire family that I was gay except my parents. This includes my grandparents and my siblings who have heard but I don't know if they believe it or not. I kept trying to tell my brother all weekend in the quiet car. There were many oportunities but I just wasn't drunk enough to get the balls to do it. I just really don't want to change our relationship from what it is now. Which is not fantastic but still I'm satisfied.

I finally got my oil changed. I set a new record for the oil change place. 22,000 miles between oil changes. I saved a shitton of money. I also had to spend all of my money getting me home so right now I am living in extreme poverty.

The benefit auction was crazy. People were bidding ridiculous amounts on things like a twenty four pack of Bud Light which went for over $100. Not to sound like I don't care about my cousin but I really didn't understand what was going on. The point of an auction in my mind is to get things for less than their original value. I don't get the idea of spending $150 dollars on a $100 girt certificate. It does not make sense in my head. The amound of money raised was also ridiculous. My mother organized this event so I got to help with things like making canned baked beans and counting money. The people were amazed at my ability to do more than one thing at a time and to be able to get it done very quickly. I just kept drinking my $2 amaretto sours and trying to numb the pain and boredom (which didn't happen after 5 so I quit). My mother did not mind the fact that I kept "going outside to get air" which means smoking and we both know it. So that went over better than I had imagined.

The most horrific experience that I had at the auction was this extremely drunk man leaning over to my sister-in-law and I and saying very loudly, "I ain't paying ninety bucks for a pie when I can go home and eat my wife's pie for free." As far as we could tell, he did not actually mean an apple pie but instead his wife's vagina. He said this not to one of his drunk friends or anyone he knew but a very innocent girl and a very young looking boy (I had just shaved). Dirty dirty old man.

And now for the orgy. No I was not in an orgy nor do I think I would have let an orgy happen under any circumstances, but an orgy did almost happen. I was hanging out with my best friend Rachel back in the Mville at a frat party. She was wasted as were 90% of everyone else in the room. I was not. There was talk of an orgy and the hot guy who lived in the room took his pants off. Soon the lights were out and people were making out. Myself included. I ended up making out with three girls and two guys (not too shabby). The reason that the orgy did not happen other than my lack of drunkenness or willingness was the fact that there was one creepy man who kept trying to date rape my friends. He kept trying to take Katie's pants off and kept trying to go up Rachel's pants (they were loose and flowy so he would have been able). The guy kept getting pissed off at me for pushing his hand away and preventing him from getting something that he did not deserve. Eventually, I got so pissed off that I just got up and turned on the lights. This is when I saw the boys penis that lived in the room. It had accidentally fallen out of his boxers while we were all on his bed. Fast forward twenty minutes. We are trying to leave the party but we can't find everyone that we came with. I went looking for Rachel and found her talking to the creepy boy who was still trying to get in her pants. I walk up to her and glare at him and tell Rachel that we are leaving. The creepy boy ran away scared. I was so pissed off that I could have actually gotten into a fight with creepy boy at this time.

Kirksville was fun and all but really nothing happened. I did get the call me hand signal from a former fling which really made me happy but all in all it was just a lot of talking to people and saying goodbye to professors who are leaving. It was kinda sad.

I'm sure that I'm missing stuff but this is all for this post.