I have not been able to post because my life is all built on uncertainties. I have been working my ass off. Construction is a bitch on my regular work schedule. I just spent the last couple of hours painting walls and screaming because the guy that I'm working with is just making my job harder. I spent two hours painting the ceiling and what do I find today but white paint on my black ceiling. Wahhhh.
On top of all that, I may or may not be dating a really cute, really nice, very intelligent nineteen year old boy. We went out to dinner to meet his friends and I liked them enough but they are also very pretentious rich kids. This is what I am not...pretentious, rich, or very. I like him a lot but I am having trouble being boyfriend material. He really wants me to quit smoking but he doesn't want me to quit smoking for him. He wants me to quit smoking for me. I really don't do anything for myself these days. Some might even consider me a whore because I'll do anything for someone else. And I mean just about anything. I'm flat ass broke. I have $5.32 to last until Friday and I have no food, I need to go out and have fun (AKA drink), and I have to put on an act of being a financially stable boyfriend. It sucks to be the older man in the relationship with a job. I believe in the gay world this means you have to pay for stuff. We did go dutch on Friday.
Reasons that I think we might not be dating...
1) He hates my smoking
2) ummmm, I'm kinda stuck on number two
Reasons that I think we might be dating...
1) He keeps mentioning the fact that he has never done anything with someone he has not dated
2) He tried to introduce me to one of his friends "This is my... This is... I want you to meet Shane." Talk about awkward introductions.
3) We have showered together twice and let me tell you. I love this. I get to loofa his back. It is sweet and he thinks his roommates are going to hate him forever.
4) The reason for showering.
5) I am actually honest with him. We talk and have fun and he calls me out when I'm not really being honest and when I'm kinda being an asshole.
6) Cuddling is great.
7) I think I'll stop here because I just vomited a little bit in my mouth. Its ok, I'll be fine.
I am going to go on VACATION. (insert GoGos song here). I don't believe that I have ever gone on vacation for real since becoming an adult. Connecticut here I come. Also, I might get to see the ocean and/or go to New York. Either way, one of my med students from college is going to come visit me wherever I am. She is super excited and was sad to find out that I was not a part of her returning to Kville. Anyway, I need to get back to painting/smoking or doing other stuff that I don't really know yet. So tata.