Since the beginning of the year, I've been having a tryst with myself over what I'm doing and who I am. This goes for career and personal life. Now don't get me wrong, I am very happy and very satisfied with life in general right now.
So with Jenni moving out and Her Highness moving in, I have made a switch in who I reveal the most to. I have another confidant. Jenni still gets a lot of what I need to get out because I call her all the time, but she doesn't get all of the little details. Her Highness experiences most of the little details with me so doesn't necessarily want to hear all of them again. I think I'm getting bottled up. This is directly connected to not having a boyfriend. This is what I am most looking for with a partner. Someone who wants to hear about all of the details. I happen to think that I live a very interesting life. And all of the attempts to find the ideal boyfriend definitely have failed so far. According to my horoscope, this is the year that I find love. And it better not be one of those "oh but you found true love for yourself" type bullshit responses.
Do you believe that some people are just supposed to be famous? Most of the time I feel like a celebrity. Let me explain. Last night, I went to karaoke at Novaks. I walked in the door and the bouncer told me that she didn't need to see my ID because she knew me. The thing is that I have no idea who she is. I recognize most of the people working at the bar even though I don't actually know them. She very much knew me though. Several people that I had seen before asked me if I had a good time at the concert who I hadn't noticed being there. When I was announced to sing, two girls started screaming my name. They knew me from the coffee shop because one of their friends has a huge crush on me. It came to my attention that I knew pretty much everyone at the bar.
I'm pretty sure that I am ok with being famous. I already have those extremely true friends (most of whom read this blog) who will stick with me through my horrible marriage to my backup singer, through shaving my head, through rehab. You know the true friends. I am ready for more than fifteen minutes.
I need to go back to school. It is time for grad school and more adventures in a new city. This will not be happening soon though. I have a lot of investments that are paying off right now. I don't have the money to relocate or put myself through school. I also need to grow up a lot. I have a lot of personal growth to achieve before I can be a true success. This boy needs to mature a little and I really don't know how to do it. I know that I should probably calm down and stop going out as much, but I really enjoy going out and being quite crazy. I am already saving money and thinking about my future. I guess I am growing into adulthood.
This is full of musings. I was inspired by Jenorama to post something a little more significant than I have been. I will get back to regular posts about crazy stuff very soon.