So poor Katie Rose comes home to tell me that she has a flat tire. She is panicking and looking in a book for the results. There comes a time when I must pretend to be a big-tough I-know-how-to-actually-do-mechanical-things man and change a tire. I put on all of my winter wear clothing (including pants that like to show off my ass crack) and head on out to face the weather. It just so happens that this is the coldest night in the past week. We get out the manual (nothing should ever be done without a manual when it comes to me and cars) and attempt to locate all the necessary equipment. I like getting dirty sometimes and dirty I did. Down on all four looking under the van to get the damn tire off of the whatchamathingie. The jack kept comfusing me in terms of me accidentally lowering instead of raising. Damn thing. But all in all mission accomplished in somewhere around 45 minutes. That is record time for me.
One time I spent an hour and a half trying to get the tire from under my truck only to call my father crying and force him to come out to help. The tire had rusted on there. I don't know which was worse, my father seeing me cry over a flat tire or me frustratedly kicking the truck for at least half an hour of that time.
When it happened my freshman year in college, I cried as well for quite a while. That time I had to call my uncle on the cellie and have him talk me through it. It just kept not going well and it was taking way too long. My friends all kept coming out for about 10 minutes not being able to help at all and then giving up. That time it only took me about an hour, but I was crying in the MO Hall parking lot as people were driving by just staring. I was late going somewhere but I forget where now.
The last time I got a flat tire was last winter. It was a winter storm and I had managed to stop at the stop sign. When I attempted to turn left, my car proceeded to not turn and go into the curb. I got it parked and thought nothing of it. Everything seemed fine when I looked at the car. When I got back from class, the tire was completely flat. Even so, I drove it the 10 blocks home. Later that evening when the snow finally let up, I decided to change the tire. Roommates in hand to take pictures, make fun of me, and read me directions, I was set. Plenty of pictures were taken, the car fell off the jack midprocess, and I don't think I have ever been that cold. I don't remember if I drank before or after, but I think that I drank quite a bit. The pictures are quite funny. Lots of smiling and no crying. I made it. New level of car management.
I hate balloons now. Especially balloons that you have to pay $1 for that pop whenever they damn well please. So far the longest a balloon has lasted for me is one day. They suck. And after my scene, if i have any left, I am going to suck the helium from one and give the others away. This should make me happy.
After quite an eventful night, it is time for me to do homework. I think that is a must.