Johari Window. It sounds like fun to me. Fill it out so I can see who doesn't know me very well. And no slutty is not one of the adjectives.

Today, I was a man. I sweated and grunted and carried heavy things. Co-worker thinks that I am more manly since I have not showered. Theory--my shampoo makes me just a little bit gayer (it is orange smelling) and not having the proper hair product also helps with the lack of gayness. But that is just his theory.

My mother found my Playboys from back in the time that I was trying to be straight. I would have my friends over and they would look at the Playboys and we would laugh and then we would do other boy things (not like that). This brought me just a little bit closer to my male friends in a time when I was very conflicted with my feelings. So I kept them hidden in my room when I went away to college and kinda forgot that they were even there. Flash forward four or five years. My mother is rearranging furniture in my room at home and discovers the Playboys. She calls me to ask me if they are indeed my fathers (of course they are) and then semi-poses the question of why I had them. I think that I might have stated that I had no idea why they were even there in the first place. I really have no use for them. Apparantly though my mother has figured out that all my father's old Playboys are worth money. So good for him. I had over a years worth of old Playboys in my room including the one with Farrah Fawcette from the early nineties. She was painted all in gold and prancing around on the beach. So this weekend will be fun going back home and trying to clue my mother in to the fact that I am indeed gay. I don't want to come out by it is sooooo time to do so.

The Friday night date went fine. Nothing happened. I was a good boy and now he is calling me virtually every day (still not today but possibly because I have not returned his call from yesterday). I just don't think that his being 18 is going to work out very well. And then on Sunday I went to the local Vodka bar and drank with the manager. This did not turn out very well for my empty stomach. I didn't think I was going to make it the 4 blocks home. The same four blocks that I walk every day to get to work. I was just that drunk. And my bill was less than I could have ever imagined. This is the same place that Jenni and I racked up a hundred dollar bill on sushi and cocktails for two. I also got invited to a winery tour (which I am told is a sex filled weekend and makes me wonder what I'm getting into and whether or not I actually want to go). My boss is jealous of my sexual ability. She wishes that she had so many advances but also would not jump on them because sexual desire is power. I don't really know if I have this power or if it is just an imagined power.

I will be back in the Kville for one night and one night only. I am actually trying to plan a lot of activities into this day. I have to go see professors that are leaving and friends who are graduating and the lot. Then I am going to see my friends produce a play that was written by Paul Kastner and directed by the same Pini that I punched in the balls way back last May. Then I will go Drinkin with Lincoln. Hopefully my girls are prepared for a fun day with drunken Shane.

I have no guess as to what the rest of my vacation weekend will have in store. Family and probably not very much fun. Wahoo. I am missing the forever fun Prism Dance for the first time in semesters. I'm not very happy about that but I know there is no f-ing way that I will be able to leave early from home to go to a homo event. It just won't be the same without me is what I am imagining people saying.

Save me a dance. I'll lead. I am very excited about going back to Mville to see my bestest Rachel. There is rumor of a party. I'll just be happy to see my girl and hopefully some of her friends. I just really can't wait to compare weight loss. It has been since October when I left for St. Louis. How freakin crazy is that? Bye boys and girls. Time to get back to watching Jim play video games and listening to Rosie pop popcorn. Hmmmm. I think its time for a smoke.

Okay well not really. But Jim and Rosie and Nicole are all back from vacation so that means that I have to be on better behavior.

This is officially date weekend. If you would like to possibly date me, then this weekend is your chance. I know that it is getting a little late and the slots are filling up fast (hehe get it slots), but there is still time to act.

I finally got up the balls to ask out II or the Second as we'll call him. Come to find out, he is only 18 and a freshman in college. I don't know if I can date someone who can't follow me to the bars. But it is worth a shot. This afternoon we met for tapas in the Loop. This was supposed to happen after I made my banker jealous by telling him I was going on a date but the banker was at lunch. Tapas (everyone thinks you are saying topless) is basically the Brasilian version of sushi. The date went fairly well with a lot of awkward conversation. I think he seemed fairly interested considering the nervous laughter that was occurring on both sides of the table. Then we went to Rag-O-Rama where I bought an awesome t-shirt #1 Dad. Which is entirely true. I am the number one dad. After a little bit of shopping the Second treated me to Starbucks. Did I forget to mention that the Second is also an employee for the devil (aka Starbucks). I haven't been to a Starbucks in months and I was very nonplussed. We are supposed to go see a movie or something tonight to end our day date. We did not even hug goodbye from the afternoon date so there is a lot of ground to make up or make out whichever way you want to see it. My friends tell me that he is not that attractive and kinda annoying but I think he is cute and has gorgeous eyes. His stepfather is only a year older than I am. How weird is that?

Tomorrow could be a date with Tyrone (the 32 year old tall black accountant or something). He is supposed to come in to see me at work and he is interested in doing something after. I'm thinking gorgeous sugar daddy. But this has been my bad for a couple of weeks now. He's a nice guy who seems interested yet does nothing about it. He wanted to exchange numbers on Tuesday but we never actually did.

I will be stopping in the Kville and advancing on to the Mville next weekend. Fun times and pictures will definitely be happening. And if anyone is interested, the Taco Ninja party will go down on April 7th at my place. Dress as a taco and eat ninjas or dress as a ninja and eat tacos. Either way, that should be fun. We'll see how the rest of Date Weekend goes. Hopefully with at least something ridiculous happening. Try to do something ridiculous this weekend for yourself with someone.

Some might even call me a sexual predator. Yeah that's right. I took a boy home on Tuesday even though I have no interest in him and got him to do things that he didn't really have a lot of interest in doing ("on the first date"). So the story goes...I go out on Saturday (in search of Carson from Queer Eye) and run into Southern Boy. We make out a lot in the middle of the dance floor and he tells me that the ball is now in my court since I now know how much he likes me. Tuesday night. I still haven't called him and really don't know if I intend to. He is there and I'm in one of my moods. We make out a little then a lot. I suggest that we go back to my place to "watch a movie". He tells me that sounds okay if that is all that we do. I get him into the house and we start to watch Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (story on that later). Five minutes into the movie, Jenni is still not in bed when I come by shirtless and dragging the boy to my bed. We continue to make out and I start shedding clothes just to get comfortable. (This is where my wallet must have fallen out which I did not discover until I freaked out about losing it). I get him down to his underwear and SOCKS. He tells me that it is time for him to go to sleep and I say that I am going to sleep naked. This is when I become a sexual predator. I came pretty close to just ripping his underwear off. Mind you, I have almost no interest in this boy whatsoever. I just kinda wanted to sleep naked with another naked boy. I got my wish. That is all that we did, but it was way more than what he wanted to do.

So I run into him today (when we are supposed to have a date) and basically tell him that I'm kinda super busy and I'm going into work. I don't know exactly what to do with a boy who has a huge crush on me.

Carson Kressley part 2. I ran into Carson at the Complex on Saturday. He did not remember me and he did not show a whole lot of interest in getting to know me again. He was also kinda being a douchebag but that is possibly because he was dragged there without wanting to go. He had a gaggle of gays chasing him all night anyway. I decided to let it go.

Talking to my mother on Tuesday, I inform her that I'm "hiding in the closet" to scare my roomie Jenni and that we are going to watch Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. She has seen this movie--I have not. She then tells me that she wouldn't really think it is my kind of movie. There are two options for interpretation.
1- She thinks that I'm straight and for a theatre boy she couldn't possibly understand me liking musicals. I don't really get this. We've talked about my love of Dolly before. But its a movie about whores. What straight man couldn't like this musical?
or 2- She knows that I'm gay and wouldn't want to watch a movie about whores. Which also doesn't make sense because there are naked boys running around. This has completely got me very nervous. I don't know what my mom knows. I have told some family members and she might actually know by now. I just don't think this is how she would tell me that she knows. It was very similar to how she touched on the subject of my smoking. Who knows? She's a little crazy.

Work has been chaotic and wonderful. For those of you in Italy, things are going fine. Minor problems but fine none-the-less. I have accepted a lot of responsibilities and handled them well.

Tomorrow is the only day that I accept my middle name. Yep. 364 days of the year my middle name is P. St. Patty's day, my middle name goes back to being Patrick. I will be decked out in all green tomorrow for the occassion. I think I will even wear green instead of a uniform. This is a very special day for my Irish ancestors and more importantly my drunken American cohorts. Have a great St. Patrick's Day and enjoy this beautiful sunny St. Louis.

Its a crazy week. Two work nightmares. Have fun. Miss you Jim and Rosie and Nicole. So much work and so little time. Bye bye.

Woohoo. It has been over a year since the beginning of the live of Hipster Vodka Tonics. This calls for a year long summary. It is not going to happen now but it will happen sometime this week. I will however give you...



Happy Taco Ninja

Let me tell you...Boys are crazy. All of them are completely nutzoid (well...maybe except for Conor...and I'm including myself in this nutzoid category).

The Bitch came to St. Louis and since I'm a glutton for punishment, I went out to see him. It was everything I expected and more. He did say that I looked great. He was also pathetic and kinda sad. I really hate being mean to someone who is just so pathetic with his life. I did have a great time dragging Jim onto the dance floor. This was Mardi Gras celebration night so the place was packed. No one really hit on me. I was very disappointed.

Sunday night, my co-workers and I closed a Denny's. Last people to leave and definitely the loudest.

And actual Mardi Gras. Wow. I worked a whopping ten hours and then got really drunk. About 1 AM, a friendly face comes over to say hello. Hottie McBanker was out at the Loading Zone for the first time in years. His boyfriend has a staff infection (for the life of me I don't know what this means--What I interpret it to mean is that he has not gotten any action from his boyfriend in the six days since he has been sick). He was quite flirtation and quite hot. We chatted but did nothing. Then, Jim and I went to the leather bar again. This is where all the craziness occurred. Banker found another boy to flirt with and ditched me. It was announced that I would be the perfect boyfriend for a man that I have no interest in (partially because he is louder than I am--which is pretty loud). I think that I walked around the entire night with Taco Bell on my jacket because I was a little too drunk to notice that my one meal of the day was mostly all over me (I figured that out in the morning). Banker left without the other boy as far as I'm aware (mostly because I was drunk and chased him outside to say au revoir). I got home and called several people including Conor=LA Boy and might have said some more embarrassing things and Rachel and might have professed my love for her. All in all, I had to recover for many hours on Wednesday.



Stinky roomie said that I've been really bitchy towards her lately. I think for good reason. I've been waiting for money quite awhile now and Jenni is completely broke and it makes me sad and angry (Incredible Hulk angry).

I apologize for all of the parenthesis. I think that they were necessary. Love your Thursday post.