Like the rest of America, I will be travelling this weekend. Have fun. I'll post I'm sure. Be expectant. And pictures of course.

So today I found my ticket from Columbia that I was going to refuse to pay. Then I started worrying that they were going to arrest me for a $5 parking ticket. So I started looking and could not find it. I looked everywhere. Especially in my car which is where I thought it was. Long story short. I cleaned my car and found it underneath the driver's seat. So now the ticket is $10 because I waited more than fifteen days.

To make up for such a loss, also while I was cleaning my car, I found a winning lottery ticket for...$10. Karma baby. Not good and not bad.

Last night, as I was walking home at 2 am, this girl took off running from a porch. The conversation on the porch consisted of..."Will she come back?" "Should we go get her?" "Dammit." The shirtless, shoeless ugly man went running off towards her in an attempt to catch her. I was in the middle of them by this point. As I keep walking, the girl starts running at me. I figured that if she needed help and this wasn't just something drunken, I was there for her assistance. She ran by me looking sort of scared and yet just drunk/high. Then the guy ran by again. I don't know how he managed to miss her. She ran straight down and straight back. She was on the sidewalk and he was on the street. I don't know whether or not to be concerned now that I think back on it. But I could make a positive ID of the guy if anything comes up in the news. I'm the careful observer but not the risk taker.

I was working with Johnny Knoxville on some sort of hospital hoax when the doctor that was supposed to be hoaxed told me that I had a shattered kneecap. I don't even know how something like that would happen and how much it is known/unknown by the victim. So Johnny runs away saying "I can't work with this shit". I get a wheelchair and sent through the hospital to get X-Rays which are more like me posing for pictures that just so happen to show my bones. Sure enough, I have a terribly shattered kneecap.

I get sent through this hospital which is vaguely like the one in Gray's Anatomy (good show). I decide to get some lunch at the McDonalds which is housed in the hospital. They did not have any hamburgers though. They only had ethnic food that I was not familiar with. I stared at the menu and watched everyone else order. I kept asking people what I should get. I try to look at the menu to find Chicken Nuggets which I find but they are very expensive and the way that they are on the menu makes me not want to order them. For some reason, I knew better than to get something from the menu rather than what was being prepared in front of me. Maybe its because I didn't want to seem like a child. I can eat ethnic food. I'll try the pancakes with meat in between. The girl behind the counter gave me what seemed to be the closest thing to a hamburger. I did not eat it though. I had to move on through the hospital.

The hospital was a maze of corridors and small rooms that confused me. Along the way, I dropped off the wheelchair and found 8 friends. I remember 9 people so I can only assume that I was one of them. We were all put into a little room and were trying to figure out a way to escape. The doctor and the nurse must have gotten wind of this because they tried to divide us into two groups. I went with the first group. We were the older kids. I really want to remember who was there. I remember a bigger guy with me. We knocked the nurse down and hid in another room. I woke up when we were trying to figure out a way to save the younger kids. Throughout most of this, I was not in my body. I was floating around watching myself as if I were in a movie or a television show. I can only guess that I am dreaming about the future. What do you think?

This seemed to be the quote of the weekend. I had to basically scream this at my graduation reception. I was, of course, quite tipsy on the two bottles of wine that my parents had purchased for the weekend before. Rachel (fake girldfirend #2) and I split the Riverboat Red and White in a simple two hours. We were quite toasted on wine. I hope for some great pictures of me cutting my cake with the biggest scariest knife I could find in my mother's kitchen. Then I licked the knife.

After all this, Rachel and I went for a walk to calm down and hopefully wear off the wine. No go. It just set in more. We both had to stop our walk for a little laying down time. Mine in the grass (damn bugs). Rachel in the middle of the street. I ran into one of my former students that smelled the wine on me.

When I got back, I stared at my mom remembering that I had something to tell her. She asked me what it was. I could not remember so I said the first thing that popped into my head. You owe me $10. Then I proceeded to tell her that all the wine was gone. The look of shock on her face was great. I love being drunk around my parents now. They don't seem to mind my antics.

I then went to the bar. Not a good idea. I got drunker and drunker and then my high school comrades started showing up. I don't like those people much. Adrian and I walked home from the bars (which is quite a distance in the hometown). We made it home and my mother was still up. I went downstairs and passed out after showing her and not telling her just how drunk I was. I fumbled around for a glass of water and then practically fell down the stairs. Oops.

There was more fun times in Mville but nothing exciting enough to post about. Hopefully the trip to Wisconsin that I'm making this weekend will be a lot of fun. Randomness and I now have a digital camera to document it. We'll see what happens.

My lungs are sore today. I don't know how many cigarettes I smoked last night but I'm guessing more than normal. I also stayed out later than normal. After the Dukum, the bartenders invited a bunch of people over for an after party. I'm always up for an afterparty especially one with free alcohol. So I got a ride over to the party and just hung out smoking and shooting the shit with my favorite bartenders (now former bartenders). I think this is where I smoked too much. It was chilly outside and I just kept smoking. One after another with little more than 10 minutes in between. About 5 am, one of the guys offered to give me a ride home. So home I went listening to his loud techno music.

At about 2 pm, I woke up to lightning and car alarms. I think that one was causing the other. A loud crash of lightning and then a car alarm for exactly three cycles. This happened exactly three times that I noticed while being awake. It was kinda scary because I really didn't know how serious the storm was. I could tell that it was very close and that there was a lot of lightning. I thought that the storm was happening at 8 am or something like that so I went back to bed. Thats right, I slept until 5 pm today. Good thing I didn't have anything to do.

I also found out that the Killers moved their concert until July and now I probably won't be able to go because of my job. I was pissed. I've been looking forward to this concert for months. So now I guess I just get to look forward to a roadtrip to Monroe, WI to see a former teacher. We have lost contact over the last four years and finally we decided that we just have to fix that. So my best friend from high school and I are going to go up and have fun with the woman who helped shape us from little snots to adults. She changed my life so much and really made me love performing. I blame her for everything. My love for good poetry. My need for the stage. My ability to perform (you be the judge). So we will be going to see her for the first time in over three years. Yay for roadtrips.

I finally got over my feelings of impending sadness. Don't know when it happened, but I definitely noticed a difference this evening. I felt purpose back in my life. I think it was just the post graduation what am I doing with my life type thing. Even though I know what I'm doing its still just that feeling. But now it is gone. Back to being happy.

I would say birthday present but I would never wear it.

Busted Tees has some great t-shirts though.

Just like old times, I got sweet revenge. This is the story of the theatre banquet with lots of old memories and old friends.

Of course, Jenni was in town. That is old friends status at its best. Parents, brothers, and sisters alike all thought we were dating. They did not think that we were sleeping in the same bed as far as I'm aware. This would have been obvious though and not even needed to be pointed out since all of her stuff was in my room and the couches all looked very undisturbed in the morning. Ooops. Who cares?

Starting with Amber. I love Amber. So I gave her everything when I left. She got my office (OP 2210--I think?), my professorship (I gave her Assistant Professor of Laundriology), my Lyceum Expert responsibilities, and my sluttiness.



There is a lot to uphold when it comes to upholding all of these positions. I worked long and hard to get all of these high held status positions.



She looks ready. That sexy beast. I have included her in many promiscuious actions. She will do well. I told her that she has to increase her volume in her voice until she eventually loses all control whatsoever. She also has to act a whole hell of a lot crazier. I had to leave someone in charge of all these things.

I'll miss Beth. At graduation, I was her little bitch. She made me follow her everywhere and go to the bathroom with her and get pens for her. It was crazy. I was freaking out but she wouldn't allow me to freak out because she was. I sat next to her at graduation though and loved it. She is amazing and should go be a professional dancer. She is good.



Next up...Joe Pini. This asshole is so much more than just a future eccentric guy. He will be so much more than that crazy guy who lives around the corner from you scaring the neighbor kids. Anyway enough about him. More about me. At a party last year, someone told Joe to entertain him. To do so, he turns to me and punches me in the balls. This hurt more than just a little. I think I was rolling on the floor for a good ten minutes. So in return, he said that I would owe him one. I could punch him in the balls and he would have to yell "My balls, I deserved it." As luck would have it, a few weekends ago, I punched him in the balls at a cast party and he just yelled "I deserved it". This gave me another chance and more hype. People were ready now knowing that I was not kidding when I said that I would get him back.

So the theatre banquet arrives and provides the perfect opportunity. Everyone organizes into a dance circle. I wait immediately outside the circle for the one chance I would get.



"You missed". I cannot believe that I could miss such a shot. I had everyone crowded around for the perfect opportunity. Everyone was waiting and evidently, I missed. So sad. Now he was definitely expecting it. So another similar circumstance arrives because Joe must be in the middle of any dance circle. This time, he watched me come at him.



He told me that he wondered why I was coming towards him but didn't react. Bam!!! Right in the balls. And he fell to the ground yelling "My balls!! I deserved it!!" I think I won.





All of Joe's good friends stood jumping and congratulating me on such a good job done. It was a rousing game.



It must be reenacted in case the camera missed a frame or two. Notice the girl who is standing posing for a normal picture.

And now I leave you with a sad moment of one of my first directors and I posing. I think that I will miss her more than most. If not most of all. She really gave me a lot of chances and a lot of opportunities that I might not have been given. Were it not for her, I would not be where I am today (that sounds like a lot but it really would probably have been a completely different college experience at least in theatre without her).

One more pic. Before Graduation. I'm drunk. (I, on the otherhand, am only mildly tipsy. Parenthetical notes are authored by Danger Jenni from here on out. God, I wish that name was fitting, as I am so not dangerous. Anyway.) The pic:



We had a good time tonight. Shots with the med students. My mom called while I was at the bar and I simply told her that I was drunk. She said to meet me at my house and I told her I was going to a bar. She asked me "Aren't you already at a bar?" I said yes. And she asked why I couldn't meet her at my house. I told her I was too drunk. Fun Fun. My brother called and I told him that I was trying to get some ass. Lets see how that plays out. Lets see how many questions are asked.

My aunt and uncle won a lot of money at the casino instead of seeing me. How much of that money will I see???

My car is fixed. Yeha. That is an old fashioned YEEEEHAAAA. Like a cowboy. Bringing back my roots. Cowboys away.

Jenni is making a pizza. She is so good at domestic things. (insert female derogatory thing now). I love her and she is sleeping with me tonight. Woohoo for My Jenni. I baked a pie thought. So good at baking a pie. Cooking in the Kitchen with Shane and Michelle. We rock. The pie turned out so awesome. Peach Apple Pie.

(So here's my take on the events of the evening. Got into Kirksville around 8. Shane came home. We got cleaned up, went to Rene(e?)'s house, where Shane and I drank monster daquiris. Then we came back home, cleaned up for a second time, headed out to the bars. First up was Il Spazio. This place came into existence after I left Truman, so it was my first time at Il Spazio, and it's a cute place. Met Theresa and Colleen, two fellow Shane friends about whom I have heard a ton... Nice to put names to faces. Then we hit up the Dukum. Saw Alex, whom i have not seen in... two years? She hadn't seen me since I went from being a Fat-ish Girl to being a Average-ish Girl, so that was exciting, because I got all this, "Oh, you're so beautiful"ness from her. So refreshing and reassuring, because I'm surprised the past two weekends haven't screwed my waistline over entirely. Also saw old friends from Kirkwood - one of the editors from my newspaper years, and this kid whom i used to love, who also saved my life. Long story. After Shane flitted around the Dukum like the social butterfly he is, we went to Toons, the dance club. Woo, is pretty much all I can say about that. Now, we're back at Shane's, eating pizza and being internet dorks. Fun times. Shane won a Truman mug today. He's done with finals. He wants me to report this. I think we're pretty much spent, now, so we'll bid you gentle readers adieu. Crap, that was so Miss Manners of me. Good night, y'all.)

I will post more pics tomorrow. This is of the infamous theatre banquet. No Jenny (other Jenny) I will not post the picture of your boobs that Hy-Vee did indeed develop despite my thoughts that they would not. I now own a picture of the boobs that are seen at every theatre party of my college career.

But now on with My Jenni. At the beginning of the night, Jenni and I are looking quite hot.



Then we started drinking and became much hotter.



Then we made out on the dance floor like I said I would on her comments on her website.



Look at us sucking face. How sweet is that? Like good friends, we make out.
There is another hot picture of Jenni, but my finger is in the way of most of the photo. That is what happens when you give me a camera and I'm drunk. I'm not very good with the damn things. I'm much better off with the paparazzi. Click, flash, smile. I'm good at that. Have I told you how much I love my Jenni and that she will be back in less than 20 hours to have more drunken fun.

Graduation in two days. Drunk week lives on.

Tonight, I went and stood in the pouring rain to watch one of my underage drinking establishments go up in flames. The Golden Spike is about two blocks from my current house. Last year, I would go drunk to watch karaoke and occassionally get slipped a sip or two from friends as we watched. It has been closed for a little under a year. The owner was trying to sell the building so that he could focus on his other two bars. One of which gets posted about quite frequently because it is my second home. I know the owner and I would trust him not to set fire to his own establishment. I want to say that it might have been connected to the lightning or maybe it was just the electricity. The walls were lined with carpet and it was an old building. Anyhow, the place was billowing smoke when my friend IMed me to tell me that it was on fire. My roommates and I went running over to see this magnificent fire that had started anywhere from half an hour to an hour earlier. We saw the fire progress from the front of the roof all the way back. It did not take long for the fire to spread even in the pouring rain. The firemen were concentrating on keeping the fire off of the house that was less than fifteen feet away. From what I could tell driving by, they did a pretty good job of that job. The roof fell in sometime between me feeling too soaked to continue watching and when I drove by about 30 minutes later. I have never seen a building burn before. I have viewed the ruins, but never the actual fire. It was so big.

After leaving the fire, I went over to a barbeque for the scholarship workers and interns of the auditorium. Lots of conversation. Fun times. That was not the bad part. I get out to my car to go home to complete the last homework that I have to do of my college career.

I get into my car and put it into reverse. I start down the driveway. Realizing that I am not going to make it down the steep driveway, I try to put my car into drive. Nothing. I put it into park. Then I try to put it into drive again. Nothing. I put my car in park and then try reverse again. Nothing. I storm back into my boss's house and yell that my transmission fell out. I guess this is not what actually happened. So we try to figure out what is wrong. Nothing. I know nothing about cars, so I was no help. So I call my parents and try to tell my mother what is wrong. My father (who knows about cars) is asleep. I talk to her. I get frustrated. I hang up and decide nothing. We try some other stuff. I call her back and tell her that we need to get it towed because it is in the middle of the driveway. She gets frustrated and does not understand that it will not go into any gear. We hang up. We try some other stuff. Then I call her back and she wakes up my father. Talking to her is doing neither of us any good.

My father is the type of person that will be angry with you for being ignorant even if it isn't your fault. So he is almost yelling at me saying that it is my fault. This makes me angry. He blames me for stuff that is not really my fault. Even though this might actually be my fault. I am not gentle with my car. When pulling out of my driveway, I will often just throw it into drive without coming to a complete stop. This never really bothered me because I knew what I was doing. Anyone riding with me would think that I was being really jerky with the car. I made sure that I wasn't accelerating. I thought that the car could handle it. Anyway, my father is telling me to look at stuff that I have no idea what it looks like or where it is.

Randy and I eventually decide that he must be talking about this little part that looks like it is not working right. So we tinker. And tinkering works. We get it to go into another gear manually. Presto, we get reverse. Then we get neutral. We push it into the grass. Then we accidentally put it into drive. So we get it farther in the grass. At this point, the car is not wanting to go back into park, so we tinker more.

Fuck this car. I probably deserved it. And this of all nights. I was going to go drinking. Nope. Still got some in but not in the fashion of drunk week. I'll really have to step it up tomorrow. I was just feeling shitty all day anyway. What a lousy fucking day with all the rain and storms and me not enjoying them.

I hate the cock--said as the stuffed rooster seemed to attack me.

I need clothes--hypothetically said as I emerge from the ocean in November in Maryland.

I don't need another drink--I don't think I'll ever say that.

No please. Don't sleep with me--Again, never said. Probably never will.

That was my immediate thought upon waking up. I basically got thrown into a frenzy of lack of sleep. I didn't go to bed until after 6 am. Guess what I was doing. Watching Garden State. Then maybe someone came over. Or maybe not. Anyway I cried just a little at how appropriate the movie was and then we made out.

So 10 am rolls around and I'm still in bed. I throw off the covers and start doing things like brushing teeth while peeing. I run out the door with one shoe on trying to light a cigarette. I get to work and see Alec who should not have been there if I was to be there. I look and stare in confusion. They tell me that Christi's shift doesn't begin until 11. Fuck. So I'm getting ready to leave when a woman tells my boss that his blinker has been on for quite a while. Seeing that he was busy, I volunteer to go turn it off. So he tells me the code to get into his car and I set off to do a civic duty. I get to the car and try to punch in the numbers. Some big guy walks up behind me and asks me what I'm doing. I tell him that I am trying to turn off the blinker. And I disregard him. He asks me again what I'm doing in his big gruff bearded voice. I repeat my story adding details about how my boss left his blinker on and how I'm turning it off. All this time, the code that he gave me was not working. I didn't know how to work it anyway. It eventually dawned on me that this was not my bosses car. This as the man tells me that this is not my boss's car. The big man suddenly became scary because he thought that I was trying to break into his car. I don't remember what I did but the man thought that I was really scared because as I ran, I could hear his conversation to his friend. That was scary.

Lesson learned today: Booty calls should happen with enough time to allow 6 hours of sleep. Damn did that throw my entire day off.

I just found this out. There is quite a helpful website on the evils of squirrels. But this also reminded me that we had a pet squirrel when I was younger because it had fallen out of the tree and its mother wouldn't take care of it anymore. It chokes on a piece of dog food and then my mom gave it mouth to mouth. But yes it pooped. Funny how memory works. I don't remember what we called him even. Maybe Rusty. That sounds good. We had a baby pet squirrel named Rusty that pooped and choked on dog food then my mom gave it mouth to mouth.

Squirrel poop. Do they poop? Do they poop in trees? Do they poop when they are on the ground? How does this work? Would I look this up online? Absolutely not. I wonder in fear if one day a squirrel will shit on my head. But it hasn't happened to anyone I know. Chances are they don't poop at all. They do something like owls and puke not poop. Who knows?

So I locked myself in Jen's car. Yep. Her windows weren't working and I thought maybe I could play with the child safety thing and that would work. Nope. I just locked myself in the car. But if Jen becomes famous for writing a book about my wife, we are going to fucking Mexico. Fo Sure. Screw that last post. I think I'll take it off.

Margaritas tonight. Karaoke tomorrow. Drunk the rest of the week. So excited. Finals are nothing. For once I don't have something huge to prepare for that I should have been doing weeks before. I have one little one of those but for the most part, I am out of school. I have to get honor cords. Yep thats right. Your little drunk boy is graduating with some kind of cum laude. I think suma. Definitely not magna. But I got a good GPA going for me. Screw that damn GRE and its non effectiveness.

I got offered another job for the summer but don't think I can handle two months of junior high kids. Am I wrong? It would be a lot more money than working at the coffee shop. I think that I could still have a lot of fun in June and travel. If I took the job though, I wouldn't have to go to my cousin's wedding. Which would piss my mother off. I really don't care to go though. And family pictures have become what I hate the most in life. There are only so many people that can change a picture. We are always together. Bah. Its just a picture. Its not even professional. Emotions. Who needs them?

Its nine pm and I'm already quite tipsy. Loves my wife and Jen and her lobster. Good luck.

So maybe its just me being sad about leaving Kirksville, but I think it is also from the status of relationships thus far. I go into relationships thinking that this will never work because I am never that interested in the person that I end up dating. Normally, I do things for the other person. This is how all of my college relationships have gone thus far. But this time, I do not have that feeling. Even though the situation is bad, I have the feeling that this is a relationship that I could live with for a really long time. This is more of a personal explanation of my feelings to myself than to anyone in particular.

I have gone through several relationships just to see if it would eventually work out and I could mimic their adoration for me. It has never worked that way because I have always been afraid to pursue what I have desired. This situation is different and it makes me feel so selfish and illogical. It doesn't make sense. I will say that now. But I have never done anything for myself in terms of love. I went into a summer relationship with a girl knowing that I couldn't really stand her. She was a bitch. She really wanted sex and so I gave it to her. That didn't work out.

I had a summer fling when I went home basically because he wanted to. Then, when I was done with the relationship, I left. He was severely dissappointed. I was bored. The relationship was stagnant from beginning to end. I did prove to myself that I could emotionally date a boy though. That was good for me. It was really bad for him.

I have done the whole bad relationship thing. I know that I am trying to be selfish, but I think that once in awhile, I deserve to want what I desire. Friends have told me that I don't know him that well. Which is true. I do know what I feel. I guess since I've never really been in a good relationship so I don't know if it would work. I don't know how well my feelings guide me into a good relationship. They might lead me into the same type of relationship that I've always led myself into. And I might just be an asshole.

Yep, I'm hungover from the entire weekend all in one day.

Jenni and I woke up. Rule of morning--brush teeth, smoke then make pancakes. Smoking before brushing teeth leaves you with this clingy feeling on your morning teeth. I thought it would just mean that I could brush and get rid of the smoky smell to my mouth. I have learned that lesson. I also learned that making pancakes is not as easy as it looks. How can it be so hard to throw batter into a skillet and make delicious hard to fuck up pancakes? Turns out there is a careful craft. Only one out of three tasted good. I think maybe they might have been too thick. The package said makes ten. I made three.

Jenni left at one to go play with her older sister in St. Louis. We went to go pick up my car. Thanks go to my wife for a sober drive.

The rest of the day has been working on stuff while trying not to feel so shitty. I had initiation into Alpha Psi Omega, the largest national honorary theatrics society in the world. It was so nerve wracking. It was secretive or else I would tell you more. I belong to a secret society now. Shhhhh.

Country Kitchen was made for students to study. Why am I only finding this out now?

I had a relationship talk last night. Don't know how well it went. It is so sad that I find a relationship just as the summer is about to hit. I will be here and he will not. And then I will be way far away next semester. Did I tell you about my touring children's show? I will be touring across the great western states of Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Maryland. Almost four months of living out of a van. (down by the river?) But that also means no relationship. No contact with humans other than randomness and my two co-actors. Nothing other than phone contact. The blog will suffer. I think I talked about this before. Who knows? I was probably drunk. But the relationship talk was something that should have happened years ago to make things work out. I wouldn't mind long distance, but from my angle, that is kinda selfish. Is it? Tell me about it.

So Jenni is in town and rocking my world. Tonight, she got all dressed up to go to the theatre banquet with me. We were so hot. Loved it. We drank a lot. Then we went and played in the fountain with Pussy Club "O" Chapter. Got some great pics of me with my hand groping a statue of Joseph Baldwin. He is really scary up close and in the dark. The whole night has been kinda one big fit of me being an asshole.

I did get some action this weekend though. It took a lot of patient waiting and worrying, but it finally happened. I stayed at the party til close, had already put Jenni to sleep in my bed, and waited. So finally the last person leaves and we turn out the lights. It was great until the sun came up. Then I started thinking (sobering up) that my parents would be taking me shopping in 4 hours. So I walk home in the beautiful early morning that I never see, smoking a cigarette in bliss. I crawl into bed with Jenni and curl up into a wonderful friendly ball. Only for 4 hours when my mother calls and tells me to get ready to go shopping.

My play was this weekend. Who missed it? Y'all missed it. Cept Jenni, Karla, and some other people that I'm not sure if they actually read the blog. The play went great but at the very end, a cross appeared in lights on the cyc behind the actors. This was not supposed to happen. Everyone came up to me after the show and told me that they really liked my religious undertones and that I really should impose "my" religion upon everyone like that in all my plays. I almost died. Almost died. So other than that, I loved my play and my actors were wonderful. Someone actually repeated lines that they found funny. The laughter was what really made me laugh. It was great hearing people laugh. I have successfully not cried at all this weekend. I have teared up and gotten really sad. I'm kinda sad now. That will all change when I, again, crawl into bed with my Jenni. I loves her.

Not only is the Bitch out of my life, but we are no longer talking. Not at all. He has called and I passed my phone off to various people. He told me before my play that he wouldn't be coming because he wasn't really feeling that well and didn't feel like it. This is unacceptable. He knew for months that the play was coming and kept avoiding my calls until right before. I knew what he was doing too. I can see through these shenanigans. I also am no longer talking to one of my former best friends from high school. She had no excuse and promised me she would see it. We have been on the outs for quite a while anyway. So now we are definitely out. Definitely. Can you tell that I hold grudges? Some things are acceptable from some people. Some people I hold less demand upon. Some people I really could care less about. These are the stages of people. I also love some people. Like my grandmother. And my wife and my Jenni.

Anyway, too drunk to keep rambling. Night night.

I have one more class in my entire college career. I have several projects still due, but the most important thing to note------------------->

The Way of All Fish is Tomorrow

My play is in a little over 24 hours. I am so pumped. My girls are so ready.



Look at how we have all bonded. They are toasting sushi just so you know. I took the picture. Yes that is people taking pictures in a restaurant. Classy. But we had to take lots of pictures. Two are my beautiful actors and then my amazing stage manager. It was a fun girl's day out to Columbia.



Starting off with airing up tires. They were really low. They thought this would be the perfect opportunity to take pictures. I was still exhausted from partying the night before.



This is me eating sushi like a pro. Somewhere along the days, I picked up the skill to use chopsticks. But look at how awesome the picture is anyway. Megan wasn't quite as good. Problem solved. She really didn't end up liking sushi at all.



Kayce loved it. Don't laugh while eating sushi.



And the end to a perfect day of getting haircuts, eating sushi, and having shopping fun with the girls is....



Getting a ticket for $5 from the Columbia Driving People. I put that on "the list of things that are never going to get done."

Then we got lost out in the country but my inherent sense of direction told me to just keep going and eventually we would hit the highway. And we did. It was just a detour through outer Columbia country. Fun fun with my girls. Now come and see them act. Tomorrow night at 8pm.

So, I've definitely been freaking out about a lot of things. I was talking to my professor today about the stress of finishing up the year. She informed me that this was the end of a very long career as a student and that life will forever be changed. She said that stress is causing my tension. I then told her that I was carrying that tension in my ass. It started in my lower back and moved on through my ass to my upper thighs. I have been walking funny for about a week now. She told me that I was a pain in my ass. I told her that it wasn't me but now I definitely have a name for my ass. That name is solely and collectively for the most part responsible for being a pain in my ass. But without stress who could have their ass reminding them daily that they are upset. Yep my ass wants more attention.

I also got a bugbite in my armpit. That sucks mightily. That means that several people have caught me scratching my armpit with rigor.

I also walked into the locker room today and saw old penis. This guy was just standing, looking in the mirror, and combing his hair immediately around the corner from the entrance. But it was pretty big so I guess I would do the same. I guess since I don't work out, I am not used to this type of manly showing off. It made me really uncomfortable. Not as uncomfortable as say, seeing your professor (not someone else's but your's completely naked and not even being ashamed...I think there might have even been conversation involved?) It really just freaked me out and kinda grossed me out. It was weird.

And finally...another bad picture of me. But this is the post-haircut immediately out into the sun rockstar Shane squinting in the light of the flash of multiple cameras.

Name six things in your purse/wallet

1. A note telling me to download songs by Interpol
2. A VIP pass to a gay club in East St. Louis mostly in thanks for my actions during the drag show.
3. My ticket for being a Minor in Possession of Intoxicants
4. Movie tickets for Sideways, Life Aquatic, Very Long Engagement, Kill Bill 2, and Hide & Seek.
5. Jenorama's awesome new business card.
6. Three fortunes from fortune cookies: Every man is a volume if you know how to read him (in bed), Romance moves you in a new direction (in bed), and Your name will be famous in the future (hopefully not just in bed).

Name five things that made you happy this week

1. My cast for working so hard on my play. Love them and their work.
2. Making plans with my friend Rachel to go to Wisconsin to see Mathison.
3. Listening to music in fast forward to find the perfect songs for my play. Techno dance party in my room made simple. Never thought Rufus could be techno.
4. Telling my high school friend Laura the true story about my sex life.
5. Karaoke as always.

Name four things you'd like to do before the end of your lifetime

1. Be famous for something.
2. Swim in the ocean.
3. Go to Paris and the Great Wall.
4. Be in a happy longer than six months relationship that is real and not fake. Love ya Karla. Happy six month anniversary of our marriage (also on Friday as well as my play).

Name three things you plan on doing this weekend

1. (Fuck only three) Watching the show that I've been directing come to fruition on Friday. Sitting there hoping that I will not pee my pants.
2. Parties on Thursday, Friday in celebration of the Festival of One-Acts being completed. Celebrating with family and friends all weekend.
3. Theatre banquet with my date, Danger Jenni.

Name two things you'd buy for yourself if you had the money

1. A new computer, a laptop computer with an iPod so I can blog while I'm on tour next fall. I might have to get a transcriptionist otherwise.
2. A bigger better bed so that, when I am home, I don't have to sleep by myself because it is twin-sized, I don't have to have my feet curled up so they don't stick out, I can sprawl out when I am by myself. (the sleeping with someone is purely hypothetical as no one has attempted in over a year--the last time was the first time and we both fell out several times throughout the night).

Name one good thing about the last person you talked to

1. I will say that this is my Jenni. I am talking to her on IM. She is beautiful and lacks a mind to mouth filter. Any time something happens, I must call her to tell her. She gets all the facts ma'am and you people only get the Cliff Notes. She tells me how it is. When we get together, crazy times ensue. This is how I got the VIP pass to Faces of Fourth Street. This is how I got crazy boys to try to get me into a threesome and then run into them again months later. This is how we get our futures read by a warlock at 3 am. This is how we watch a movie in a quiet theatre all by ourselves and still sit next to each other. Her mother wants marriage, her sister calls me tipsy-melon, her friends all know me and want to meet me. She is uber-fantastic. I also know that she will be reading this as soon as it is published because I told her when I started what I was doing. But it is all more than true. Its the Truth.

Yep, I find myself on friends' sites that have not told me about such sites or such posts. See what I do in return.



Go check out the site. Click on the picture to find out what it is all about.